Discovering Helpful Insights into Negotiation

Negotiation is without doubt a complicated game, and it depends greatly on the emotions of the parties involved. In a way, it's like a good game of poker: you don’t know for sure which cards the other player holds, and you just increase your stake thinking you have a better hand than your opponent.

Most of us are not born negotiators (including myself). So when the time comes for us to ask for what we want, whether it is a pay raise or a promotion, a good purchase, a better price, or something else entirely, we feel lost and wonder why we are not getting the best deal.

No matter what you want to achieve, you can do a lot to maximize your chances of leaving the negotiation table happy and fulfilled.

Here are some important negotiation tips. No fluff, no unnecessary tips that are not guaranteed to work—just a quick dose of the best tips available to crush your next negotiation, no matter what it may be about.

Don’t take things personally.

Remember that negotiation is a business deal. Whether you are a business owner, an employee, or someone who is not even familiar with the business world, you must maintain this understanding whenever you're in a negotiation.

Negotiations most often break down because one or both parties take something personally.

If you keep things professional and understand the other party's point of view while leading the conversation, misunderstanding is less likely to occur.

“During a negotiation, it would be wise not to take anything personally. If you leave personalities out of it, you will be able to see opportunities more objectively.”– Brian Koslow

Be assertive.

During negotiations, it is important not to be afraid to make or refuse offers and requests. Be confident and do not hesitate to lead the discussion.

After analyzing the kind of person you are dealing with, you must first say exactly what you want.

If you don’t make your request clear, the other person will take the opportunity to fill in what they want without hesitation or regret.

Be assertive about what you want. Let them know that you mean business.

Question everything.

Are you trying to buy a new car? Do not accept the seller’s offer immediately.

Question their estimation of your trade-ins, compare prices with those of their competitors, and bargain for a lower payment.

In general, do not take no for an answer. Negotiation is acting from a position of power, so strengthen yourself with more confidence.

“Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate.”

– John F. Kennedy

Aim high.

You've probably heard, "Aim high, and you'll land on your number."

Optimists are good negotiators because they are not afraid to start high (or low, depending on the context).

They believe they can get a great deal, so they are not scared of making an offer that reflects that belief.

If you are negotiating from the employer or seller position, offer less than you are expected to give. If you are on the other side of the table, as the employee or buyer, request more than you expect to get.

You will find that it will most often work in your favor.

Listen!

Most people are good speakers but terrible listeners.

If this describes you, it will benefit you to learn how to become a better listener before your next negotiation.

Negotiating does not mean arguing. An effective negotiator always knows when and how to listen to the other party.

Let them talk because it will give you an idea of what they want to achieve.

Asking open-ended questions will help you get as much detailed information as possible.

For example, you might ask your hiring managers, “What do you think of the short-listed candidates we interviewed for the management position? What is our time frame to fill the position?”

This information gives you an edge to better negotiate your position.

The next time you are at a negotiation, try to limit your talking time to one-half or one-third of the other person's speaking time.

Be brief and concise in your explanations and ask questions along the way.

Make an effort to understand their point of view. It will go a long way.

“One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears—by listening to them.” – Dean Rusk

Be empathetic.

Negotiation is less about both parties struggling to get what they want and more about seeking agreement and mutual understanding.

This relates to being a better listener but also being insightful and reading between the lines.

Put yourself in the other person's shoes.

What do they want? What are they trying to negotiate? What will they get from this? What does it mean to them?

When you consider these aspects in your negotiations, you'll help the person achieve what they want, and they will be more than happy to return the favor.

"Most people I ask little from. I try to give them much, and expect nothing in return, and I do very well in the bargain.”– François Fénelon

Don’t rush—negotiation is a game of patience.

Most people become impatient with the negotiation process, and they lose a half-won battle because they speak too quickly or accept the terms immediately.

It is always best to stay calm and take the time to think about what has been said.

When you are negotiating from a position of power, you cannot rush a negotiation, because the other person will notice it immediately.

And if they do, they will make higher demands and draw harder lines—they know that if you want to close the deal, you will have to accept them.

In any negotiation, the party with more time always holds the greater power, because whatever happens, there are not in a hurry to close the deal at their end.

Therefore, when negotiating, always try to go into the discussion with plenty of time to spare.

“In any negotiation, the one who first gives a number is the loser.”

– Kenneth Eade, attorney, author, and activist 

Be willing to walk away.

This is undoubtedly one of the most important points, as it influences your behavior and perspective throughout the negotiation process.

You must feel confident going into every negotiation. In other words, never go into a negotiation thinking you have only one option.

The other party can easily see through your desperation. No matter what you are trying to get, you should have several options on the table that you can fall back on if one doesn't work out; this will help you project confidence.

Do yourself a favor and make sure you always keep your options open before you engage in a situation where you’ll have a lot to trade.

Knowing that you are not desperate has a positive effect on your overall demeanor, even if you couldn’t care less about pursuing the other alternatives.

“To win a negotiation, you have to show you're willing to walk away. And the best way to show you're willing to walk away is to walk away.”

– Michael Weston

Negotiations can become a game of wits. Therefore, equipping yourself for the game will help you achieve your goals. Like the saying goes…

“You do not get what you want. You get what you negotiate.”– Harvey Mackay

Biagio Triassi helps connect TOP Talent for Team Hiring Success within Canada.