How to pitch with just 20 seconds of insane, nerve-wracking bravery.

It’s t-minus 13 days until my book launch party in NYC! If you are near New York on November 21st at 6:00pm, I better be seeing you there!

I’ve been to so many book launches for friends in the past, but this is my first one in the US, and to say I’m excited is an understatement. We have the coolest, most inspiring set of panelists, including Cindy Gallop! (i.e. the “Michael Bay of Business”). I don’t know what I’m more excited about - the fact that Cindy agreed to be on the panel, or the fact that I had the chutzpah to ask her to be on it!.

I like to think I’m a great networker, but there is nothing quite like the feeling of doing something super brave and watching it play out. You know that movie, We Bought a Zoo, with Matt Damon? Towards the end, he tells his son, “You know, sometimes, all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally, twenty seconds of embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.”

I feel like that line sums up the last two decades of my life. When I’m worried that something won’t work out, or that some amazing person can’t possibly believe in me enough to celebrate an achievement with me, I think of this line and go for it. 

When I knew the book launch in NYC was definitely going to happen, I reached out to Cindy Gallop - my idol - and asked her to be a speaker on the panel. Cindy Gallop! She founded and ran IfWeRanTheWorld, a co-action platform that’s been used as a case study at the Harvard Business School. She was named Advertising Woman of the Year when she founded and ran the Bartle Bogle Hegarty ad agency. And she didn’t stop there. Cindy went on to create MakeLoveNotPorn, the first pro-sex, pro-porn, social sextech platform and is currently raising the first and only sextech fund called AllTheSky Holdings. 

I can honestly say that pitching her to speak on the panel was one of the scariest things I’ve ever done. Who am I to ask this incredible human and business woman to speak on a panel? 

After I sent the request, I sat back and panicked. What if she said no? What if she laughed? What if she left me on read? 

What if…what if…what if…

I ran through all the questions and variables and talked myself into understanding why she would say no. I never even dreamed that she would say yes…

BUT THEN SHE DID!

She said yes! And all it took was 20 seconds of insane, embarrassing bravery!

I know how hard it can be, though, to put yourself in the mindset of achieving that brave moment. Which is why I’ve put together this list of steps to take to trust yourself to get into that 20 second moment.

1. Take deep breaths. One of the biggest reasons that doubt starts to creep into our minds and tells us something is impossible, I’m convinced, is because our brains start to lose oxygen. Think about it, what happens when you start to get anxious or fearful? You start to breathe more shallowly. When this happens, your brain is getting enough oxygen. So, taking a second to take deep breaths will help your brain - and thus your words and rationale - become more clear.
2. Think about why you want it. Sometimes, we lose sight of why we are asking someone for something. Instead, we start to think about all the reasons we shouldn’t ask or they will say no. To get over this, we need to really get down to the nitty gritty for why we want them to do the thing. Once we understand this need and drive, we can come up with our pitch to them and have the correct emotion supporting us. 
3. Don’t overthink your pitch. If you’re able to jump to the 20 seconds of insane bravery without doing any set up, then whatever you pitch is the right pitch. But even if you’re fearful of your words being minced or the other person disregarding you, one of the best things you can do is not to overthink it. Write your pitch down - make it short and sweet. Then let it sit for a little bit, review it once, and send it out.
4. Know why they might say no. As you navigate writing your pitch, think about why the other person might say no and address it in the pitch. For instance, with my book launch, I only asked people who live in NYC to be panelists. I didn’t want distance to be a deterring factor. If you’re asking someone to write a book blurb for your new novel, make sure they are comfortable writing in English (or whatever language the book is written in) before asking. That way, you won’t get disappointed by ano that has nothing to do with you or your ask but is simply a mismatch..
5. Embrace your fear. Fear is a good thing. Fear is a reminder that you’re alive, that you dreams are worthwhile, and that you have something you want to offer the world. I always tell my clients to be thankful for their fears, as they’re a sign that what they’re doing matters. Embrace that fear. Imagine all the things that could go wrong after you pitch your idea to the other person. Once you’ve lived through all the outcomes, ask them anyway. You never know when you might get a yes!

The best part about building up to 20 seconds of insane, embarrassing bravery, is not actually getting the other person to say yes - although, it’s always awesome when they do - it’s actually about the journey inside. When someone says yes, you feel accomplished. Your work and energy paid off. But learning to recognize your fear, let it go, and act anyways is the real lesson. The more you do it, even if the yesses don’t come right away, the more your confidence will grow. And at some point, the yesses will come and the bravery will be easier to achieve.

What do you think? Hit reply to this email to tell me about an insane moment of bravery that worked out for you! I want to know!