How to Scare Away Any Investor as a Founder

As an angel investor myself, I get approached by many founders, especially at the very beginning of their fundraising journey. They come to me through various channels: in person, via introductions, and by sending messages on LinkedIn. When I started, I responded to all of these approaches. Now, honestly, after gaining some experience, if someone doesn’t come through a recommendation from my network, there’s very little chance I’ll even look at their pitch unless there is a brilliant, eye-catching intro. Why? Because most of it is just generic spam…

The statistics of fundraising are quite brutal: fewer than 1% of startups get funding from angels, and around 0.05% secure funding from professional VC funds. That’s why it always surprises me when founders make such easily avoidable, “Googleable” mistakes…

Quickest Repellent? Attitude.

Attitude Mistakes:

• Be offended by questions, feedback, or rejection (remember, investors recommend startups to each other, and your bad reputation will spread faster than you think).
• Be arrogant—show off, refuse to answer questions, or interrupt before the investor has fully explained what they’re asking. And always tell everybody around that the investors don’t understand your business if they seem uninterested… (And never, ever, consider what YOU could have done better to win the investor over!)

Even if your solution is brilliant, you will only fundraise as quickly as your potential investors can understand you. Communication is king!

Communication pro-failure tips:

• Don’t adjust your message for the people you’re talking to, not even the introduction. Just always present the same story and pitch deck (this isn’t that terrible as long as it’s structured, and you address the investor’s questions clearly and respectfully). To strengthen the effect, get offended when asked about a specific part of the startup. What do I mean? If a commercially-oriented investor asks more about sales channels and isn’t as interested in the technological side and then you continue on the tech side instead of what the investor is interested in, even calling this part “not that important”. Best way to indirectly suggest to your investor his know-how area is irrelevant…
• When you receive additional questions, always start by saying, "It’s a specific industry," as if that should explain away all doubts. Do this instead of simply answering the questions to the best of your ability. You’re a startup—of course you don’t have all the answers.
• First talk about the money you want, and then about how you’ll make money for the investor. Or even better—focus only on the check you want and don’t mention the path to returning the capital with a great multiplier.
• ..but the best way to miss the funding is actually to never ask for any! Be shy, non direct, don’t tell what’s the terms or upside of investing in your startup. Just count on that investors will just throw money at you.

The Last Chance to Screw Things Up!

Once investors see you have a reasonable attitude and can clearly and respectfully explain why your solution will bring them 20-50-150x returns (because you know they’re looking for crazy good returns in this crazy risky stage of investment, right..?), try these final tricks:

About the Solution Itself:

• Say that the solution sells itself. This will absolutely repel most experienced investors. Unless you’ve found a cure for every type of cancer or a way to produce endless energy at no cost, nothing will sell itself. A sales strategy is actually the most important part of any company. You know that your valuation will increase proportionally to the sales potential you create, right? (With a few exceptions, but not every startup is an OpenAI, let’s be honest…)
• Tell them you have a functional product and now you "just" need money for marketing and sales. The world is full of great products that nobody buys. This isn’t inherently bad—just have a backup plan to explain why this is crucial and how investing a bit will bring disproportionate results. But still, this approach will rarely work.

Remember, investors have 100 similar people like you and your startup pitching to them! You really need to do your homework to succeed.

To summarize on a positive note, here’s a cheat sheet for founders seeking opportunities:

• Find a personal introduction to the investor you’re trying to approach.
• Check the type of investments they make and adjust your introduction accordingly.
• When you secure an initial meeting, always have a structure prepared and tell the investor what you’re going to present during the meeting.
• Be consistent, transparent, and to the point. Any confusion will shrink your chances of fundraising to almost zero.
• Don’t even think about lying. Some investors might be inexperienced, but these are the people you’re asking for their hard earned money—have some respect. 
• Have a clear follow up plan, best aligned with the investors themselves on how they want to proceed, it’s your job to keep the talks alive.

Happy fundraising!