How Self-Awareness Transformed My Leadership

My Journey from Blind Spots to Alignment: Leveraging the Self-Awareness Matrix for Effective Communication and Collaboration.

When I first started my business, I was eager to drive the team towards ambitious goals. My management style had always been direct and no-nonsense—I believed in giving clear, honest feedback to help my team improve. After all, that's how I'd climbed the corporate ladder, and I wanted to instill that same mentality in my team.

In the beginning, my candid approach seemed to work well. I would quickly identify areas for improvement and provide specific, actionable feedback to our team members. My small team appreciated my commitment to their development, or so I thought. However, over time, I started noticing some subtle changes in our interaction.

Slowly,

The energy shifted.

Collaboration dwindled.

Creativity disappeared.

The once-vibrant team became reserved and hesitant.

I became concerned about this shift.

I decided to dig deeper.

I arranged a series of one-on-one meetings to understand what was happening. It was during these conversations that I began to realize the unintended impacts of my feedback style.

Many of my employees, coming from more collective cultural backgrounds, felt that my direct approach came across as overly harsh and critical. They were hesitant to take risks or share ideas, fearing my immediate and blunt feedback. This was creating an environment of fear and defensiveness, which was directly at odds with the innovative, collaborative culture I had hoped to foster.

I was determined to address this issue, so I began to explore the self-awareness matrix in more depth.

I recognized that my actions, while well-intentioned, were having a significant negative impact on my team's morale and productivity. This was a classic case of a "blind spot" in the self-awareness matrix—a high-impact behavior that I was largely unaware of due to cultural differences and my own ingrained leadership style.

The Self-Awareness Matrix is a powerful tool that helps individuals and organizations understand their level of self-awareness and the potential impact of their actions.

Let me explain each quadrant:

• Blind Spots (Top Left)

1. High Impact, Low Awareness
2. These are behaviors that significantly affect others, but you're unaware of.
3. Example: Your intense communication style is making team members hesitant to share ideas.

• Alignment (Top Right)

1. High Impact, High Awareness
2. Your intentions and impact are aligned for maximum positive effect.
3. Example: Consciously using your influence to develop others

• Disconnect (Bottom Left)

1. Low Impact, Low Awareness
2. Behaviors that neither help nor significantly hinder
3. Example: Habits that don't register with others or affect outcomes

• Potential (Bottom Right)

1. Low Impact, High Awareness
2. Areas where you have insight but haven't fully leveraged it
3. Example: Skills or knowledge you haven't fully applied yet

By assessing our activities, decisions, and behaviors through this framework, we can identify areas of strength, opportunities for growth, and blind spots that require our attention.

For example, an individual might realize that their habit of checking social media during work hours (disconnect) has a low impact on their productivity, but they could redirect that time and energy towards learning a new skill (potential) that could lead to a more fulfilling career (alignment).

Similarly, a team or organization might recognize that their marketing campaigns (blind spots) are having unintended negative consequences on their target audience, prompting them to reevaluate their strategies and prioritize more impactful and intentional initiatives (alignment).

By understanding and applying the Self-Awareness Matrix, we can enhance our self-awareness, make more informed decisions, and increase our positive impact on ourselves, our relationships, and the world around us.

I realized that to move our team toward the "Alignment" quadrant, where our actions and intentions were in sync, I would need to significantly enhance my self-awareness and adapt my leadership approach.

I started by gathering feedback from my team and asking them to share their perspectives on my communication style and its effects. This open dialogue helped me understand the nuances of how my directness was being perceived and the underlying cultural factors at play.

I will share with you the exact questions that I honestly asked which transformed my approach.

Blind Spots (High Impact, Low Awareness)

1. What feedback have I received that surprised me?
2. Which of my decisions have had unintended consequences?
3. How do people's reactions to my leadership style differ from what I expect?
4. Where I might be overestimating my effectiveness?

Alignment (High Impact, High Awareness)

1. What are my most effective leadership behaviors and why do they work?
2. How do I know when my intentions are aligned with the impact I want to have?
3. A situation where I successfully adjusted my approach based on feedback.
4. What mechanisms do I use to maintain awareness of my leadership impact?

Disconnect (Low Impact, Low Awareness)

1. In what situations do I feel least effective as a leader?
2. Where do I see gaps between my capabilities and the results?
3. What aspects of leadership do I tend to avoid or minimize?
4. How might my hesitation be affecting my team's performance?

Potential (Low Impact, High Awareness)

1. What leadership skills do I possess that I'm not fully utilizing?
2. What prevents me from having the impact I know I could have?
3. How could I better leverage my self-awareness to increase my impact?
4. What support or resources would help me realize my leadership potential?

With this newfound self-awareness, I made a significant effort to adjust my feedback approach. Rather than bluntly pointing out areas for improvement, I began to reframe my comments in a more constructive, empathetic manner. I supplemented my verbal feedback with written notes that highlighted both strengths and areas for growth, allowing team members time to process the information.

Additionally, I discovered more opportunities for collaborative problem-solving, inviting my team to contribute their ideas and perspectives. This shift towards a more inclusive, supportive leadership style gradually transformed the culture, reigniting the creativity and friendships that had been stifled by my previous approach.

As we continued to monitor the impact of these changes, we noticed a remarkable difference in the team's morale, productivity, and overall commitment to the company's goals. 

This journey of self-discovery, enhanced by the insights provided by the Self-Awareness Matrix, not only helped me become a more effective leader but also strengthened the foundation of the team's success.

By addressing the cultural nuances and adjusting my feedback style, I was able to unlock the full potential of my team and foster an environment where innovation, collaboration, and high performance could thrive.

If you found this article useful, and want to further develop your self-awareness Actualized Leaders is launching conscious leadership coaching in 2025 (both individual and group).

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