How to stop sending emails you regret

Do your emails ever get you in trouble? Maybe you've been reprimanded or even fired after you sent an email that had an effect you definitely did not envision. Or maybe one of your emails significantly damaged a relationship with a coworker and you wish you could hit "unsend."

Perhaps you frequently suffer from a urge to get something off your plate so it's done and you can check it off your list and move onto the 27 other things that are stressing you out. But, at what cost?

If you have a tendency to send emails that result in colleagues or loved ones who are frustrated, confused, annoyed, insulted, or irate, it's time to become more self-aware of your practices.

Read on for three common reasons your emails/messages are getting in the way of a rewarding career, strong relationships, and a happy existence. Find out what you can start doing differently now to enhance your professional and personal life.

Three common reasons your emails are causing problems

1. You feel a false sense of urgency (about everything)

Does your mind trick you into thinking that everything is urgent and requires an immediate response?

➡ Instead of quickly writing an email and hitting send right away before you've had a chance to give thought to the message you're communicating, draft your message and then let it sit in your drafts folder until you have a chance to revisit it, for instance, a few hours later.

➡ When you're not distracted, go to the draft, focus on it, and revise it so it's more likely to advance your purpose. For instance, someone wrote to you with some questions and you want to make sure you clearly communicate your responses so they have the information they need, and you can avoid unnecessary back-and-forth.

➡ Pay attention to not just what you're saying, but the phrasing and formatting.

➡ Use empathy. How does your recipient like to receive their communications? Do they tend to appreciate communications that are succinct, clear, and easy to skim, with a clear call to action (CTA)? How can you change your message so it's more likely to be well-received by your audience?

➡ When you're communicating with multiple people at a time, crafting the message can be more challenging because you might be communicating with people with different preferences, ways of processing information, goals, and so forth. Ask yourself if a mass email/message is the most effective delivery method. If it is, how can you approach your communications in a way that takes into account your varied audience?

2. You're worried you'll forget to follow through

If you don't get that email out now, you'll forget and it will never get sent.

Is that really true? What can you do to safeguard against that, without hitting send on a rushed message?

➡ You can create a calendar reminder or task for yourself so you receive a notification when it's time to revisit the message.

➡ You can schedule the message to be sent at a particular time, and then revisit the message before the scheduled time, and then reschedule the message when you're ready.

3. You're nervous that a not-so-immediate response will cause problems

What if not getting back to someone right away causes issues/inconvenience?

➡ If the matter seems time sensitive, you could send a quick note to the recipient to acknowledge them.

SAMPLE LANGUAGE

It might go something like this: "Hi xxxxxxxxx. I got your message and am booked solid today. I want to make sure I give your message the time and attention it deserves. You can expect a reply tomorrow."

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You could even save a template like that so you have easy access to it, and then tweak it as needed before hitting send. That way, you are being transparent and the recipient isn't left wondering, "Did they receive my message?"

Recap

Remember, if something isn't truly urgent, it's typically OK to give yourself a few hours to send a message/response. Doing so will afford you the space and time to make sure it's carefully crafted. It will also help you cool down if it's a tense situation, and reduce the chance that your emotions will have you saying things in a way you'll regret.

By following these steps, your communications might not be as fast, but they will likely be more thoughtful and effective.

What strategies do you use to deliver effective messages? Share in the comments.

For more resources to help you thrive in your career and your life, visit my blog, where you'll find articles on topics such as team engagement, resiliency, and career pivots.

#communications #effectivecommunication #effectiveness #relationshipbuilding #colleagues