How Words Can Make or Break Your Message
Michelle Tillis Lederman, CSP, SCC, Leadership Speaker
Creating Connected Leaders And Cultures Where Relationships Drive Success. Likability and Communications Author. Forbes Top 25 Networking Expert. MG100 Coach. TEDx Coach.
When I was a kid, and someone would say something mean to me, I quickly retorted with one of my two favorite sayings, either…
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
“I’m rubber, you’re glue. Everything bounces off of me and sticks to you.”
But the truth is, words do matter. Words can hurt. Words do stick to us.
In many of the leadership and communication courses on Executive Essentials, I talk about language and encourage people to choose neutral, positive, or actionable words.
Why? Because I know that the words we choose impact our emotions and the emotions of others. That emotional response drives how well somebody will receive your communication.
Words matter. Think about this example:
A real estate agent says, “I have two houses to show you. One is in a great neighborhood and crime has decreased by 25%. The other is also in a great neighborhood and it's one of the safest neighborhoods in the area. Which house would you like to see?”
The response is always to see the one in the safest neighborhood – of course!
The agent responds, “Great, well we can see both since the houses are right next door to each other.”
Word choice gives a different feeling about the exact same place.
How do your words impact how people receive your ideas or how you’re coaching your people?
In listening to the Marshall Goldsmith book, Triggers, he summarized exactly what I’ve been teaching and he packaged what I’ve been talking about in a very simple way 'active versus passive questions.'
His focus is on the environment versus individual and personal accountability. His example lands the idea for me:
If you ask somebody, “Do you have goals?” They often respond based on the environment they work in.
For example, they may say, “My organization doesn’t set goals” or “My boss doesn’t set goals for me.” The blame is placed elsewhere.
But, if you reframe the question to be actionable, “What have you done to set clear goals for yourself?” Then they can’t pass the buck.
Here is my takeaway… We all need to pay more attention, not just to our word choice, but to the accountability placed within that word choice.
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Author of The Leadership Letter weekly column; Consulting Expert with OnFrontiers; advisor and mentor on leadership and public service; retired U.S. Army and U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services Officer.
2moMastery of the language makes a huge difference, Michelle, for in doing so, I convey not only the message, but myself. In the virus days, I held regular online meetings with my people, and sent update messages with added creativity so they would get the same impact as our in-person gatherings.
Rebranding & Creating content for coaches to attract LEADS & save TIME using a psychology-based strategy
2moWords truly have power, and your insights on choosing them wisely are invaluable.
Transform Your Communication | Develop a Clear, Concise and Engaging Public Speaking Style | Accent Reduction Specialist | Corporate Communication & Leadership Trainer | 20 years in business
2moAbsolutely! It's easy to forget how much power words truly have. While we may not be physically hurt, the emotional impact can last far longer than we realize.
21 years of multidisciplinary experience 🎤 within various projects & industries🖌️ "Health Safety Environment Engineer at Eurolink Safety Dubai (UAE)
2moThey can alter someone's belief. You have the power to bring someone from the slums of life and make a successful person out of them, or destroy someone's happiness using only your words. … A simple choice of words can make the difference between someone accepting or denying your message.”Michelle Tillis Lederman, CSP, SCC, Leadership Speaker
Finance Executive & Investment Director/ Mentor & Coach Executives (ACC )
2moIn my experience as a CFO co-leading a company through a challenging transition, I learned that the focus of my words significantly impacted my team’s morale and performance. Initially, discussing risks and setbacks heightened anxiety. However, when I shifted to highlighting opportunities and resilience, the atmosphere changed. This positive framing kept the team motivated and aligned, proving that in executive communication, words have the power to shape perception and drive success. Michelle Tillis Lederman, CSP, SCC, Leadership Speaker , thanks for the focus!