How you doin ?

I know the professional moment is not really to make jokes but as I am experiencing confinment like many of us currently, my actual most useful learnings is not about listening one more of these free (opportunistic) webinars around « how to be efficient working from home » or other remote collaborating tips, even though useful.

This is on how to SELF READ, a competence useful in daily life, even more in crisis time…

… For illustration, I will borrow a famous question from one of our common old Friends, reminding me older times, when I was younger and living in the US,

« How you doin ? » would ask us Joey

For me, this is actually one of the most powerful question and experience I went through the past 3 weeks.

I would like to share with you some insights and personal thought around this, in all humility and hope it can be valuable to you.

I remember that one of my first « Eureka » moments during my coaching training was when I was explained the 3 batteries « Head, Heart, Body » and how the 3 are strongly connected, interdepedent and feeding one another.

I quickly shared the concept with my husband and it became a new way of communication within our couple, to share without too many details yet how we were actually feeling, us both intraverts.

We then explained those concepts to our 3 kids and I cherish long drives with my 14year old daughter because one of our favorite long discussion is actually to do a full « Head Heart Body » scan and exchange around it.  

 So my turn to ask you today : How do you feel in your Head ? in your Heart ? in your Body ?

In my coaching sessions by the way, people can usually well decribe the « head ». For the « body », they easily think about somatic pains and forget about energy levels.

For the « Heart », I usually chose to explain the 4 emotions, to help trigger wordings and descriptions about the « Heart » feeling …

Do you know your 4 emotions ?

Anger, Joy, Sadness, Fear.

Each of them being a positive emotions by the way, despite all projections, because carrying a key message to be read, understood and acted accordingly...

Those current times, as I said earlier, have provided us with a special window to observe and read what we are going through intimaly, to connect to how we are feeling, to read your emotions (E. was sharing with me his rage on Monday, M. her fear…), explore what it means for you and if there are any useful learnings or desire to change for after.

This is also allowing us to test and try what is working for us to recharge those batteries.

C. was explaining to me that she has connected to meditation and 30 minutes sun, some have chosen running or house parties, reading, food, painting, music, dansing …

All is good, as long as it works for you and reboost one of your 3 batteries.

What have you noticed about your batteries ? Which one goes down first? On which one of the 2 others can you act to recharge it ? What works well for you ?

Some are also discovering that they are not going that bad without many social interactions.

This is the time for example to remind the concept of introvert and extravert.

An introvert is someone who prefers calm, minimally stimulating environments. Introverts tend to feel drained after socializing and regain their energy by spending time alone. So no shame to actually feel « not that bad » in the situation.

The situation is also providing a unique opportunity for family building, and explore it with the same lenses as the ones you would be using during a teambuilding.

Look at each member of your family.

What do you notice about the way they feel, they act, details and reactions you would not have paid attention to ? any specific needs, operating modes ? any success factors ?

I am for example amazed to observe my youngest who seem to have a blast during this time. She is a true introvert. My husband and I can not travel currently so she is enjoying to have us home. She feels more efficient in her academic learnings, work less hours than at school and have plenty of time to play, dream and create and is boosted in her self confidence.

My friends are usually making fun of me because I enjoy a popular TV show called Koh Lanta where a bunch of adventurers get to spend about 2 weeks on an island with constrainted resources, physical challenges, team politics and internal rivalries. Are not we all living our own Koh Lanta ?

In more serious terms, we are all to develop our strategic view, our ability to read the systems - as a key leadership competence for upcoming managing in volatile and unstable environments- our META ability - to observe without judging and connect and project to deeper intentions.

The current situation has recentered us Inside our nuclear family and closest connections for a while. Observing this, how it interracts with other systems, imagining how we would like it to interract with other systems once all this is passed is a preliminar reflection for later, larger scope.

So now I invite you to follow my lead, lead from behind and put yourself in a Coach state

C- Center

O- Open

A – Alert

C- Connect

H – Hospitality to all that comes, as it comes

See you soon,

www.beyondperformance-leadership.com