Huntsville gets 2nd Costco–When is it Birmingham’s turn?
Today’s guest columnist is Randy Adamy.
I want your help.
I need your help.
Friends, shoppers and Costco lovers lend me your ears.
We need a second Costco in Birmingham. And where would one locate said second location?
Trussville!
You might think I selfishly want one where I live, but I don’t live anywhere near Trussville. I just want all the people who live in that quadrant of the Birmingham metro to stop coming to my Costco in Hoover.
No offense, of course. Costco/Hoover is a zoo because of you.
The Birmingham MSA (metropolitan statistical area) is about 1.1 million people. Literally all of those people shop at my Costco, especially on weekends. As far as I can tell, Trussvillians drive approximately 41 miles to save on gas at Costco. I know they do because the line for gas sometimes backs up into the parking lot for 14 pumps. My friends to the northeast really need to do the math on those savings.
I do understand the attraction of Costco since I am attracted almost weekly. In fact, I make up excuses just to go. I don’t do this for any other retailer with the possible exception of Lululemon, but that is a personal issue with high quality active wear. Go ahead, look at my picture. I am not exactly a yoga mom. Back to the Costco attraction.
Is it the beautiful, artful interior with warm lighting and nice music? Is it that you can pull right up to the building to park? Is it the Express Lane for 10 items or less? Hardee- har- har on that one. No one buys ten items or less at Costco.
Costco is a well-orchestrated retail trap in which none of us minds being caught. From the moment you come in with your oversize buggy you are like a rat in a maze. Perhaps you need a new 85” plasma TV today. Those are immediately on your right. Immediately on your left the scenery changes every week.
Today might be 60 feet of supplements that did not exist five years ago. Next week it could be men’s shavers or drones (I could use one of those). It will NOT be toilet paper or paper towels. You need to go 400 feet farther in the maze to get those. Those folks in Kirkland, WA know what they are doing.
After the TV’s and drones you get on the main freeway. You would think people have driven on enough freeways to know you drive on the right. Not at Costco. People not only stray from their lane, they actually cross over into oncoming traffic. I find this very annoying.
I almost always make it past the clothes aisle since they have nothing small enough for me to wear. I am five feet three inches tall and weigh 130 pounds. Costco clothes buyers don’t know men my size exist.
On my right I now see bedding and small appliances. I keep focused and move ahead. Wait, is that a backup generator on sale? I don’t have one of those. My wife convinces me we don’t need one, either. Keep moving. What about the 15 foot tall Halloween dragon? We don’t have one of those, either. Keep moving. Trouble ahead; bakery and wine.
Being a Baptist I won’t discuss the wonderful wine selection since some of my fellow parishioners may be reading this. But, we can talk about bread, right? The bread problem is that just two people live in our house which means you have to buy one loaf of Rosemary Parmesan for each person. Solution? Freeze one!
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Next, on to meat and seafood. This is where you can drop some serious cash. Chilean sea bass? New Zealand lamb? Monster lobster tails and gigantic scallops? Eat well now and take out a second mortgage on your home. Costco thinks you’re worth it.
We have just passed the halfway mark in our marathon and our cart subtotal has just passed $300. Below average, but not bad. Uh oh, $4.99 rotisserie chickens just coming off the fire. That’s three meals of protein at our house. Grab one, keep moving.
Wait, what’s that I smell? Organic Beef Shiatzu Meatballs? The Demo People are lined up and ready to tempt us. Today’s lineup is Neapolitan Pizza on a Stick, fresh mozzarella cheese balls and farm raised tempura pork parts. I line up for all three. I may have pushed a small child aside on the last table since only one sample remained. Sorry, kid, seniority rules at Costco.
Still not out of the woods we head down the frozen food aisle to buy three month’s supply of thick sliced bacon and a 64 count box of ice cream drumsticks. They were on sale. It’s a good day.
I snuck by the salesperson representing hot tubs only to be caught by a sign that said Cape Cod potato chips, the really big bag, were on sale. I took two. Time for checkout.
The checkout lines may get long, but those employees are fast, efficient and pretty darn friendly. I’ve seen the productivity charts on these people. They have them on the wall as you head down to the restrooms. Seriously. No pressure there. I hope they get paid a lot.
Receipt in hand we head toward the exit with just one last thing to do. “We’ll take two of those $1.50 hot dog/cold drink combos.” I love Costco. Burp.
Old joke: What’s the most expensive vehicle you can drive?
Answer: A Costco shopping cart.
P.S. Costco will also help plan your next exotic vacation. I may let them get us to Figi…as long as Figi has a Costco.
Editor’s note: It was just announced Costco will be opening a second store in Huntsville–Lack of Birmingham growth an issue.
Randy Adamy is a retired hospitality and coffee professional.
David Sher is the founder and publisher of ComebackTown. He’s past Chairman of the Birmingham Regional Chamber of Commerce (BBA), Operation New Birmingham (REV Birmingham), and the City Action Partnership (CAP).
Invite David to speak for free to your group about how we can have a more prosperous metro Birmingham. dsher@comebacktown.com
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