I was not always proud

I was not always proud

Growing up gay in India in the 80s was not the easiest life to live, especially being a part of an illustrious family including rai bahadurs who helped write the constitution of India. In those days, being queer was ‘unheard’ and ‘unspoken’, social conservatism was the norm. This was the pre-internet era, the isolationist times with no support groups or even access to any information on being queer.


I spent my early childhood living with my grandparents, voracious readers, thinkers and in many ways, way ahead of their times and grew up discussing religion, sociology, theology and pretty much everything else. No topic was a taboo with passionate debates over tea and drinks being the daily norm with the exception of sex and sexuality that even my very open and brilliant grandparents navigated around and never touched. 


Unlike many of my contemporaries, I never had an epiphanic moment of realisation of my sexuality; I always knew! A deep, hidden secret that demanded information, support and understanding that was not available. 


When we moved to Delhi, magical things happened. No one knew me or my family, there was access to information on being queer and there were other queer people too. This was a period when India was opening up, at least economically, to the world. But this was also a period of half information, half truths and lots of fear when it came to sexuality. The gay, lesbian, bisexual labels appeared along with hijra, chhaka, pinku among other colourful words in Hindi. 


This was also the period when queer people were given shock-treatments, harassed by cops, blackmailed by miscreants, killed by fake lovers for spare cash and fancy phones. This was a period of real fear for the queer community in India. 


With no identity, with the government considering me a criminal, how could I be proud? I was busy fighting the demons inside and out; I had no reason to be proud! I became an active member of the Queer groups working towards getting equal rights for us all; went for marches, did dharnas. I was angry, I was sad and I was lonely; I was not proud.


The hurt, anger and the pain all collectively channeled and with the help of many known and many more unknown heroes, the fight for pride continued and in 2009 with the Delhi High Court decriminalising ‘sexual acts between consenting adults of the same gender’, the queer community in the country rejoiced having same rights as the straight population has enjoyed for many years. This was the first time I truly felt it was ok to be queer. 


There was still anger and pain and hurt but with the phone call from my mother on 24th of July, 2009 when the newspapers had covered the momentous news when she very lovingly said - “Son! You are legal now, congratulations.” I was Proud too. Proud of having been accepted after the long fight. I persevered through the social stigma, the ridicule, the trauma and I was finally truly accepted by my family. I was proud because I had contributed towards other queer people enjoying the same feeling of warmth of acceptance.


Though this ruling was overturned in 2013, a huge change had begun for queer people. We had accepted ourselves and were proud for having fought the good fight, proud of the change we had started and finally on 6th September, 2018, in a landmark judgment, the Supreme Court of India struck down Section 377 of the IPC. 


I am a proud member of the queer community because I continue to fight for the marginalised, the disenfranchised, the minuscule minority and the urban elites. I am no longer alone, I am many, I am visible, I am a force for change for the better and I will not go down without a fight for I can see the bright light that is equality. I am proud because I am a beacon of hope for my fellow queer folks; I am a promise for equality and for that I am PROUD.





Sunaina Primlani Gera

CEO and Director Gridlines Consultancy- Leading firm in India for executive search for Construction Industry Independent Director at 2 listed companies Strong Supporter of DEI in Construction

1y

Fantastic Rohan. Proud to know you. Hats off buddy

Like
Reply
Sapna Sanwal

Experienced HR Professional with experience into recruitment and HR Operations.

1y

It's not easy to come out and accept it but when someone from amongst us talks their journey, they are truly a source of inspiration for others. More power to you Rohan Mehta!

Like
Reply
Amita Vikram Pratap

22+ yrs Brand Marketing. B2b marketing champion. Personal Brand Strategist. Help entrepreneurs become great Marketers

1y

Rohan Mehta more power to you. Proud to know you as a friend for so many years plus apologise also if unknowingly ever said anything that may have have hurt you. We all (apj students ) have learnt in the jouney with you. Thank you.

Like
Reply
Bineeta Anand

Building the teams that will shape the future of PAR & Punchh : NYSE : Product Hiring : TA Leader : SaaS Based

1y

You will always be my inspiration!!

Like
Reply
Uttara Malhotra

Experienced Content Strategist Excelling in Digital Content Creation, Innovative Storytelling, and Tech Integration for Enhanced Editorial Outcomes and Leadership Collaboration.

1y

Can’t be more proud of you! Kudos on fighting this through and through. I cannot imagine but have always stood my equality for all forms of life… human or animals!

Like
Reply

To view or add a comment, sign in

Insights from the community

Others also viewed

Explore topics