I Fu*ked up - My Boss Got Vulnerable

We've all fu*ked up. We've all had failures. We've had things not go our way. Hopefully we've learnt lessons from those mistakes & failures. But are you prepared to tell people.

Prepared to be Vulnerable!

I was having a really bad day. I had completely messed up a 1-2-1 with one of my sales team. I'd lost my rag, lost control, and lost the team member. Not a good moment at all.

My Leader (one of the very best I have ever had) was aware of what had happened. He waited for a couple of hours then pulled me into a room. I was convinced I was about to get the dressing down of my life and I knew I deserved it. But what he did next has stuck with me ever since.

He didn’t tell me how I'd messed up; I knew that. Instead, he talked about a time when he had things go horribly wrong. A business failure which saw him lose everything. The house, the boat, the relationship, the money, all gone. He wasn't telling me this to make me feel sorry for him but rather to show me that you can learn, bounce back, be better by not letting failures define you. He also told me it's a sign of strength to ask for help when you needed it and that's what he'd done, adding, you find out who you can trust at these times. He then asked me to reflect and come back tomorrow with a plan for how I was going to learn from my failure. 

So rather than leaving the office that night in fear, I left reflecting on why it had gone wrong, what I would do differently and how I would address the situation with my team member the next day.

What my brilliant leader did was show me his vulnerability by sharing a story about a time when things were not going well for him.  From that moment forward I trusted him more than I ever had. I would have and still will run through brick walls for him. He made me feel safe and that I was not the first to mess up.  I learnt so much.

My reflection that night showed me the path to rebuilding the relationship with my team member. When arrived at the office the next day I asked if I could role practice how I was going to have the conversation with my team member. Together we formed a plan.

So instead of saying of my team "look how you made me behave" I went to them and explained that I knew I had messed up. I behaved in way that was not right, not what they deserved or should expect.   My team member then opened to me about why they were underperforming and struggling. Together we built a plan. The plan included giving them half a day a week to take care of things outside work. Their performance over the next 12 months was outstanding and our relationship was not only back on track but stronger than ever with deep trust on both sides.  

As a leader, vulnerability is often seen as a weakness, but, it's a strength. Being vulnerable means being honest about your own limitations, insecurities, and mistakes, and creating a safe space for others to do the same. When you embrace vulnerability as a leader, you build trust, foster stronger relationships, and create a culture of openness and authenticity.

Leaders who are vulnerable are more relatable and approachable. They show their team members that it's okay to not have all the answers, to make mistakes, and to ask for help. This fosters a culture of psychological safety, where team members feel comfortable sharing their own vulnerabilities and seeking support when needed.

Moreover, leaders who are vulnerable are more resilient. They're able to bounce back from setbacks and challenges because they're not afraid to admit when they're struggling or to ask for help. This, in turn, inspires their team members to persevere in the face of adversity.

 In short, the value of being vulnerable as a leader cannot be overstated. It leads to stronger relationships, increased trust, and a more resilient and productive team. So, if you aspire to be a great leader, embrace vulnerability, be honest about your limitations, and create a safe space for your team members to do the same.

If you would like support to help you or your team set and achieve goals, improve sales with a growth mindset and find an approach to learning that sticks, please reach out.

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