I lost the sale... now what?

6:39AM – Wednesday 27th of November.

I’m currently sitting in my home office, the morning light streaming through the window. The Australian Summer is quickly warming up with frequent Cockatoos screaming ‘Good Morning, how the bloody hell are ya’ in the distant blue skies. Sweat is dripping down my t-shirt arms, luckily being slightly soothed by the faint hum of the ceiling fan above me. There’s a strong smell of black coffee in the air as my favourite mug leaves circle stains on an ironic, yet timely, book title.

‘Why Winners Win’.

I’ve just departed from a 6AM zoom call to Boston.

In my mind, I was prepared and waiting to hear the words ‘let’s book it in! January, Darcy and yourself are going to fly over here and run The Sales Game at our annual conference!’.

But that was not the case.

Instead, it was the jarring and surprising comment of ‘in sales, you need to know when to draw the line and say ‘no’, it’s not going to work.’

If you’ve been in sales or business for more than 10 minutes, you would be familiar with the peculiar rush of emotion that can flood through your being, immediately after hearing good, and more so, not so good news.

A feeling of frustration, disappointment, loss, fear, anxiety and on certain dark and depressing occasions, ‘It must not be good enough’ or worse still, ‘I’m not good enough’.

I’ve come to realise a couple of things about sales and business that have left me feeling empowered and I wanted to share them with you too.

First things first, Sales as a career is one of the most interesting personal development journeys one can choose to go on. When you really think about it, you’re opting into more failure than success (just think about a ‘decent’ conversion ratio and you’ll see that two-thirds of the time you’re not winning).

Sales as a career is one of the most interesting perosnal development jouneys one can choose to go on

Or In other words, If you’re a sports fan, and your team is losing 66% of the time, I can tell you already that your alcohol intake is going to increase.

On top of that, you have to face the cursed rollercoaster of time! You’ve had a stellar sales month? Congratulations! As soon as the new month rolls over on the flip chart calendar… you’re back to zero and have to start all over again.

Over and over this cycle occurs. Relentless by nature. Demanding the best from you physically, mentally, relationally and spiritually.

You have to learn how to leave your baggage behind. You have to learn how to shed previous versions of yourself to step into your higher potential (the old you has no chance of creating next year’s skyrocketing quotas). And all with limitless glass-half-full optimism, charisma, energy and vitality. Don’t you dare have a bad day, the market doesn’t care to know.

And even if you’ve somehow managed to will the above into control, you then add in the dynamic of internal and external competition with a hungry pack of ‘A Players’ or corporations ready and willing to take you down at any given moment.

Yes, collaboration and strategic partnerships are on the rise but so comes down the barrier to entry of new contestants. You can never rest on your laurels and you certainly can never rest on yesterday’s results.

But there’s hope to these stories, and that is, with all of that chaos, you’re gifted with the opportunity to use your work as a vehicle for personal development. Persist and commit to the Long Game and you’ll be rewarded with strength, courage, character and a rich understanding of humanity that you can take with you into ‘the real world’

So how? How can you embrace all of the above in a healthy, life-giving and productive way?

Emotional regulation.

That is, to have the ability to steer your emotions (amplifying and minimising them at will) rather than having your emotions steer you.

How?

Well, despite there probably being a million ways, I’ve only figured out two that are effective thus far:

1. Have no emotional connection to the word ‘yes’ OR ‘no’. This allows you to be emotionally neutral and centred in your approach. From this place, you no longer need a ‘yes’ or be repelled by a ‘no’. They’re simply words. Nothing more, nothing less. The less the need, the more the power. A principle that has served me for years.
2. Realise that your core identity and value are separate from your work. Your work does not define you. What you do does not define you. So, if you fail on the sales court, that doesn’t mean you are a failure. It simply means you lost that point. You can serve again! It’s not game, set, match. It’s simply a blip in time that will be forgotten about faster than you’re anticipating.

I think it helps to understand (or at least behave in a way that believes) that you and every single person on the planet have an inherent value that goes far beyond economic progress. Understand that all things work together (and in equal balance). All upside carries its equal parts in downside and all downside carries its equal parts in upside. (Hey, I wouldn’t be writing this, hopefully, helpful piece of information, if we got the ‘good news’ this morning.)

So with all of that said, I want you to know a couple of things.

It’s all ok.

You’re all ok.

And from that place, emotional regulation can’t help but be realised.

Go well, my friend.

Enjoy the journey for no other reason than the fact that you have the opportunity to do so right now. There will be a time when you won’t be gifted that choice.

Strangely enough, that, is encouraging (I hope).

Much Love,

Steve Claydon

Creator of The Sales Game with my best mate and business partner @Darcy J Smyth.

I'm Steve Claydon.

You can learn more about me here.