I ran a marathon.

I ran a marathon. It's something that I never saw myself doing before this year. I grew up playing soccer and all sorts of sports but I've never considered nor have I ever wanted to consider myself a runner. In fact, I remember several moments explicitly telling others that as recently as last year. 2022 flipped the script.

The entire journey started when one of my best friends mentioned that he was planning to run the Chicago Marathon. His 'why' for running was significant and incredibly convicting. Fast forward a few weeks and inspiration randomly struck one evening as I pondered my personal 'why' and I capitalized. I woke up the next morning a bit startled to read the title of the registration email in my inbox: 'Registration Confirmation for The 2022 CNO Financial Indianapolis Monumental Marathon'. What had I done?!?! There was no turning back. I was going to run a marathon in 2022. Gulp.

I had no clue where to start. I had never run farther than 6 miles at a time. I didn't own a pair of running shoes. I had no idea who Hal Higdon was. I had never considered my BPM, SPM or <insert here>PM. Truly. What on earth had I done?!?!

I reflected on the endeavor and let it breathe for a handful of weeks and then reached out to my brother in law for some advice. Quick bio. He's half man and half machine. He's an incredible runner and endurance athlete. I'm quite sure that he doesn't feel pain. He has completed several marathons and most recently finished in 2nd place of a 50 mile trail run. You read that right. FIFTY MILE. His suggestion? Train for my training. Again. What did I get myself into?!?!

It was great advice. I started to run more and more each week to get comfortable with the mileage. I was shocked by how technical and frustrating it was proving to be. I invested in some cold weather gear, a pair of new running shoes and a heart rate monitor. My times were laughable. But the journey had begun! And there was a strange peace and excitement in that.

I was on a longer run a few weeks in and was struck by the notion of how much time I would spend training. It felt hollow. I spent the balance of that run pondering various things about life and then was hit with so many lessons and thoughts. The time spent on the runs became fuller and fuller and I wanted to harvest every nugget to share as encouragement to myself in reflection and outwardly with others considering the same journey or challenge.

Enter: Mara-thoughts. See what I did there? I didn't start out with the aim of receiving 26(.2) thoughts about this journey. I asked for wisdom and clarity about life and past experiences. Some thoughts related to the training and life. Some weren't specific or even related to the training at all. The thoughts would hit at random moments on my longer runs and then I'd do my best to repeat them over and over to myself (oftentimes out loud) so that I would be able to jot them down at the end of the run (vs stopping and breaking my rhythm). I likely looked like a maniac repeating those key words and phrases at the end of long Saturday morning runs on the Monon Trail but it was totally worth it.

I didn't re-read the list of thoughts until a few weeks after the race in November and this is the second time that I am sharing them. It was so humbling to reflect on all that the journey taught me about myself and about my experiences in life.

Here is the rundown of my journey. I hope it encourages you.

Time spent: 80+ hours 

Distance run: 500+ miles

Injuries: 2

Covid bouts: 1

Weeks of training: 37 

Supporters to thank: countless

Mara-thoughts:

1. Run your own race. Several of these thoughts were so cliché but they became so real during the training. I just wanted to run. I didn't want to think about it. I wanted to instantly grasp it. I wanted to be naturally good at it. None of that turned out to be true. And it was so humbling. I spent several runs in a perspective comparing myself and my times to others. It was miserable and it was not sustainable. I was physically running my own race but I was mentally running everyone else's. I needed to embrace where my starting point was and work within myself to grow towards my goal. The training immediately became a joy when I flipped my focus.
2. All things have a starting point. I think that I have a tendency to marvel at things in life and neglect to realize that I will never observe somethin great that was created out of thin air. That's an obvious comment but I was led to the reality that the biggest regret that I could have in life would be abandoned dreams. I do not wish to have an unwillingness to take that first, nominal step towards a goal that is scary merely because of its size. All big goals start with small steps.
3. Hard is relative. Have grace for yourself and others. We’re all on a different path in life. I think we are in a time of great divide and the missing ingredient is empathy. It's easy to judge the situation of another. It's an easy default but it doesn't move the needle in any way. Deploying empathy at every turn allows a pathway to understanding and ultimately to relationship. That is where meaningful change happens and I'm confident that it's the change that we all wish to see in the world around us. I'm realizing that I don't need to agree with everyone but I need to respect the trials of all and encourage however I can. I know this because I've realized how much I need understanding and encouragement in my own life.
4. A decided end point dictates steps. I need a true north in life. I am grateful that I have that and am happy to share more about that 1:1. I also know that I need clear goals in all endeavors. The path to get to those goals will teach you a lot. Any endeavor without the direction of a goal is a Fool's Errand.
5. Waving hello to and acknowledging others is a game changer. It'll teach you a thing or two about your heart. I challenged myself on a run to wave at everyone that I passed. All sorts of reactions came back. Some loved it and waved back with enthusiasm. Some acted like they didn't see me. Some put their head down. Some looked at me like I was crazy. Some had dogs that lunged at me. Someone even asked how many miles I had left on the run and then proceeded to laugh at me! None of those reactions were the point. The world needs a new definition of love. My key learning from that exercise? Love is not an act of reciprocity. Embrace whatever comes back from gestures of love. People need to be affirmed, acknowledged and seen and it’s cheapened if you do it with an expectation of reciprocity. Break the mold. Love others because they undoubtedly need it whether they know it or not. It's never about their response. A truly loving gesture is like exhaling without the expectation of an inhale.
6. There are some runs where you just don’t have it for a variety of reasons. There is certainly an argument to give grace and rest when needed but there is so much value in gritting it out and showing up on the less than ideal days. Covid and life can happen. 50 mph wind gusts on race day can happen. Show up. Give it your best. Don’t let limiting self talk win the day. Difficult and scary steps are always honored in life and looked back on with pride.
7. Who or what is telling you to go faster in life? Sometimes things get out of whack and you need to slow down to go fast and farther. I pulled my calf halfway into training. I was so bummed. I had to sit out two weeks. My times were at an all time low before the injury. I couldn't understand why it had happened. I spent the better part of the time off sulking and lamenting. Ultimately, I went back to the drawing board and sought counsel. I went to a chiropractor and was told that I was so out of alignment that one of my legs was 1.5 inches longer than the other. It was throwing everything out of whack and caused my injury and put me at risk of additional injuries and setbacks. I also learned about how quickly tread can wear down on running shoes. I addressed both issues and I noticed that the running and my form improved almost immediately! I would not have been able to complete the marathon if it weren't for that injury and the 'setback' that ultimately allowed me to make key adjustments that allowed me to complete the goal.
8. Identity. Are you living for it or from it? My identity is not my finishing time or pace during the race. Those are external to myself. I am not less valuable if my time is <insert here> and I am not more valuable if my time is <insert here>. I am valuable because I am Chris Huxhold. End of statement. Please hear this. You are unique, rare and one of a kind. No one else has ever been or will ever be exactly like you. As such, you bring something truly unique to this world in all areas of your life. You were created for a specific purpose. What’s your special sauce? Be it. Bring it. The world needs it. Therein lies your value. You are valuable because of who you are not because of what you will ever do.
9. Courses change. Different stretches of each race require different approaches. I ran a tune-up race in October at Fort Benjamin Harrison. My calf was still shaky post injury. The course ends with a significant uphill run. I walked the back half of that stretch and sprinted the final stretch. The walking was necessary so that I could finish the race well. This is true in life as well. Courses are like seasons of life and they all require a flexible perspective and a unique approach. I believe that there is a direct correlation between the flexibility applied to life and the fullness that is experienced in it.
10. Never write off something in life and just say yes to hard things. I told myself several times prior to this year that running wasn't my thing and that I’d never run a marathon. It’s a mental thing and that mindset would’ve kept me from one of the most rewarding endeavors of my life. You’ll grow in the unknown and you'll flex muscles that you didn't know that you had. You'll be built to last if you attack the hard things. If I told myself that I'd never run a marathon before 2022 and then subsequently ran a marathon in 2022 what does that mean for life beyond 2022?
11. I am convinced that a solid litmus test of the quality of any goal is: are you trying something that you previously told yourself you’d never do? Is it really a goal worth pursuing if it doesn't scare you? Set goals worth achieving that you've never considered or that make you uneasy. The world will open for you.
12. Life will give you lemons. What will you do with them? It’s so cliché to say that perspective and effort will turn the lemons to lemonade but it’s true and the sour makes the drink as much as the sweet does. There were so many setbacks with this training but each taught me something substantial about myself and approach and I am better for it. The trials of life can produce value if I let them. It's my choice.
13. Motivation. The 'why' matters. Pace. Finishing Time. Place. None of that is a good motivator. I want my son to see me do hard things. I want to prove to myself that I can do hard things. I want to redefine my ceiling and eradicate limiting beliefs. That 'why' wins the last 6 miles of a marathon after you hit the infamous 20 mile wall.
14. Pace. Sprinting isn’t sustainable. Walking can leave so much on the table. Meet in the middle. Find a pace that pushes and grows you but one that is sustainable for the marathon that is life.
15. Life change and heart change are real. They are hard but they are not impossible. The world has a different narrative driven by the limiting beliefs of the collective. Reject those beliefs. Adopt your own.
16. Countermeasures. The worst advice that you can receive or give to someone is ‘just Stop doing' or 'don’t do [insert here]'. My good friend Alex Diaz introduced me to the concept of countermeasures. We all have struggles. We know what those are. We keep them private or we might choose to share with others. Regardless, they are tough habits/tendencies to move away from and oftentimes our personal will misses the mark. I believe it’s a matter of choosing the countermeasures in life. Countermeasures are the items or methods that are the opposite of what your troubling habits/tendencies are in situations. Here is an example. If you’re judgmental .. try to employ empathy in that split second between the stimulus and your response. You’ll still struggle and have moments where you judge but if your focus is on the countermeasure (empathy) you will see the habit/tendency (judgment) flip over time. Judgment to empathy. It’s possible through focusing towards the opposite of what your struggle is. Again, heart change is hard but it's real. Let's stop oversimplifying it and let's start encouraging towards it in helpful way.
17. Mountains. Summiting mountains requires that we're training in the mountains. I've never climbed a mountain but this advice was given to me in the middle of my training. I don't think the marathon was a mountaintop. I believe it was the type of training that is necessary for the larger goals that I have in life. The marathon training taught me perseverance, discipline and grit. All of those things will help with the big, audacious goals that I pursue in life.
18. Fans. We all need them in life. The race was so much fun and there were so many kind people on the sides of the course cheering the participants on at every turn. I’m thankful for the fans I’ve been blessed with in life and have realized that one of my main passions is being a fan and rooting others on towards the good that they desire. I have so many to thank for their love and support throughout this journey and in the many journeys that I've found myself on in life. Thank you to all that have supported me. I love you. I am here for you.
19. I generally find myself in two types of seasons. Seasons of waiting usually beget seasons of conquering and breakthrough. I usually grow the most when I am unable to do or conquer in the way that my heart desires. Never underestimate a season of waiting. It makes the breakthrough and conquering so much sweeter and grows you in the process.
20. Focus and discipline matter. My brother in law showed me an article about heart rate training. The concept was that maintaining a target heart rate during runs allows you to build endurance and speed as your body gets used to that heart rate sustained over longer periods of time. It's a fascinating approach to running as you're focused on a target heart rate as opposed to a target time. The approach was also flexible based on your age. You take 180 and substract your age to arrive at your target heart rate. It was maddening at the start. My times were so slow. I wanted to run so much faster and I could feel my ego kicking and screaming. Ultimately, it showed me that a consistent focus will allow momentum to build. Growth and favorable results will follow. My times dropped and I really enjoyed being present to all of those changes.
21. There are few rules in creativity. This has little to do with running but I was really taken by this thought and was thinking about my son in this moment. He plays so effortlessly and naturally and lives in the right side of his brain. It's amazing to witness it and I am challenged to restore and curate wonder in my life so that I can create more for the world around me as opposed to consume from it.
22. Everyone has a story. That story influenced everything that you have experienced with that person. Your story is also the cause for how you interact with others. Why do we live life on the surface reacting to each other? Sit with someone. Go deep as they allow. Hear their story. Ask questions. Don’t judge it. Allow empathy to develop. Challenge yourself to understand and only speak into a circumstance or a life if you've been invited to do so. Permission is key. Their boundaries are not yours to lower. 
23. Life truly is a marathon and not a sprint. Even the seasons that feel like a sprint are part of the marathon of life. Take a stretch too quickly? You’ll pull something or be unable to finish the race at that pace. Treating a marathon like a sprint is flawed. It overlooks the intention required to finish the race well. It minimizes the importance of absorbing lessons and adjusting in all seasons of life.
24. The prize of the trial or challenge is not the result. It’s what you learn along the way. Be present to trials vs just getting through them. The former allows you to take so much with you. The latter likely will lead you to repeat mistakes. Life has a funny way of looping around lessons until I humble myself to learn what was always intended.
25. Lean into others and be generous with your resources. I was terrified of cramping on the course so I packed an embarrassing amount of salt tablets in my running vest. I didn't need the bulk of what I packed. I got to mile 20+ and saw at least a runner every mile that was shutting down due to cramping. It gave me so much joy to share all of the extra tablets that I had with me. I didn't need them. They were a 'nice to have' over the last stretch of the race but I didn't need them nearly as much as those that I had encountered. Extrapolate that to life. You can't take excess treasures with you after this life. What are you doing with your excess? It challenges me to evaluate my true needs and I know that excess isn't necessary for my existence. I have what I need and I am called to be generous. Full stop.
26. Preparation is key. Fuel your results. I know more about electrolytes and calories than I ever thought I would and have put most of that information out of my mind now that the race is over. Having said that, I am thankful that I never sacrificed fueling my body as was necessary. I am thankful for running plans and paths to ensure that my heart was ready to withstand the race. I was specific with my diet and hydration during training. The 20 mile wall was real and all of the preparation and training yielded a successful result. The same concepts apply to life. Plan the work and work the plan.

26.2 The last .2 thought relates to the actual race. I've learned plenty of practical advice and I am happy to share it. If I can run a marathon, you can run a marathon. Go get it!

Here is my 'why'..

Not pictured: so many supporters. I should have taken pictures from the course but the memories will never leave me! Thank you!