"I shit more money than god!". 3 Lessons I learnt from meeting a drunk rich prick

"I shit more money than god!". Yup. That's literally what Mr. X screamed into my ear full noise as I was backed into a corner of a table with no escape. It was like a bad and horrible movie playing out in real life, and I was in the front row for all the carnage. 

Let me set the scene. NOTE : I'm gonna omit any names, dates and locations to save this muppets embarrassment. Cause if you're Powermoving around AK you'll probably know him. haha.

It was a nice Friday night out with a few good friends, a celebration of sorts. The music was playing, the vibe was mellow, the conversations were flowing and the crew was tight. We had 2 tables rolling with the boysies and a few Wifey's and Girlfriends. The bros were yarning about pure mancave nonsense (as per usual) and the ladies were gossiping about The Real Housewives of Remuera of whatever the latest season was. Then there were 2 additional single ladies hanging with the group including Miss Y. Lovely Miss Y, dressed to impressed and simply enjoying the night out with her friends. Here is where we get introduced to Mr. X. He was not part of the group, didn't know the group but had been eyeing up Miss Y and now he thought it was time to make his move. I have no problem with going after what you want and yarning to people in public, but it's the respect of others, their space and how you choose to engage that could be debated. Mr. X pulls up to the table loud and proud with his slicked back metro hairdo, tailored shirt and drinking some cocktail which I couldn't even spell, let alone pronounce. 

His plan of attack for the evening was very simple - Act like the big swinging dick to out-macho the other men of the pack, (even though they were literally all taken and in happy relationships) impress Miss Y, and take home Miss Y. Since he was now sitting next to us the dialogue begins - not with a "Hello". Not with a "What's up?". Not with a "Hey, Nice to meet you - I'm Mr. X". But with the shittest and most rudest first impression line of all time before any pleasantries had even been exchanged..... "WHAT DO YOU DO?". Shoot me now.

I would have removed myself from the situation but one of his 'acquaintances' was in deep discussion with another friend at the table so I was left to continue this conversation with Mr. X as he began his 'Plan of Attack' to get Miss Y. It was then that I made the conscious decision to 'fully committ' to the conversation until he was finished. Not because I cared about what he had to say, not because I have any interest in having any type of relationship with him in the future, but because he was so obnoxious, so loud, so egotistical and so rude to those around him with an aura of awesomeness he felt he automatically acquired by having some cash that I was actually inspired. Inspired to be 110% NOTHING like this guy and cut out anyone ever in the future who even resembled what Mr. X represented. 

To cut a long story short, after all the load talk of riches, all the cars, holidays, houses, investments and general sleezebag douchyness thrown Miss Y's way - That night Mr. X went home alone. For all his stories and all his wealth Mr. X did not manage to get Miss Y. The 'King Lion' had zero success on the prowl. If anything he successfully managed to alienate himself from the group and make Miss Y want absolutely nothing to do with Mr. X from 93 til infinity.

Here's my 3 takeaways from that whole drainfest experience which have now been ingrained into me worse than a stag do tramp stamp....... 

Lesson No. 1 : Good humans don't care if you're loaded
As soon as you start a money conversation - you're doomed. You will never have enough and there will ALWAYS be someone with more. Don't get me wrong - there are a few rich people that are floating around but only a handful of WEALTHY people who are Actual Actual Powermovers. Eg. Wiz Khalifa is rich - Oprah Winfrey is Wealthy. Ps. The truly wealthy are also probably the stealthiest. So even if you think you're the biggest dog in NZ, in the big scheme of things in the global market you are probably nothing but a VERY very small fish. Put things in perspective and put yourself in check. They say Money/Power/Respect go hand in hand. I disagree. Mr. X proves you can be loaded, have power but not be respected one single bit. People do business with people they like. Acting like this doesn't make you likable and will be detrimental to you - and ultimately your business.

Lesson No 2 : If you have to tell others how 'RAD' you are. You're clearly not that 'RAD'
When you're being the loud show off in public trying to impress everyone - You're the kook. When you tell story after story about money, cars, planes, boats and girls - it's VERY clear you're compensating for something. And once again - you're the kook! There is no situation that is possible where you come out being RAD by having to tell others how RAD you are. Business is no different. Don't talk about it - Do it! Don't bark - Bite! Deliver & Do! 

Lesson No 3 : The way to a good woman's heart isn't from being 'That Guy'
The whole goal in life for Mr. X that night was actually very simple - Get the girl! So instead of being respectful, having a meaningful chat and seeing if he could spark a genuine connection with Miss Y, he went for the "I have money, I have 'power', so I get what I want" card. Even if you do manage to 'Get the Girl' with this strategy, I can 100% guarantee that she probably won't be the type of person who's with you for the right reasons. I'd rather be broke and truly in love than with a bill in the bank with someone who's faking it. Long term relationships in business last because of respect for each other and working together for win-win situation. THAT GUY usually isn't looking out for anyone else except himself. And that's not scalable, viable or sustainable. This makes it a LOSE LOSE.

So to Mr. X, thanks for teaching me a very simple lesson in life, and the lesson is this. Being a loud mouth, arrogant muppet with few comma's and doesn't make you 'Rad', being a simple and respectful good human does. When all is said and done - unfortunately, you're just a Dick with a few zeros. There is more to life than being 'THAT GUY'. Businesses can be positive, connect people and build unlimited amounts of awesomeness, they don't need to be ego driven and led by kooks. And even if they are for the time being - they won't be forever, and that's a fact.

- Robett Hollis, Lifestyle Entrepreneur

Question for my accountant:  Considering I have written this article on a business platform like Linked In can I now claim back my food and drink expenses from that night as 'Research & Development' or 'Entertainment'? Surely! hahaha.