I SOLD MY BUSINESS, AND I AM SAD!

When I tell people I sold my business, they always ask me the same question. 

 How does it feel? 

 Here's the honest answer.

I sold my business 4 months ago. 

Both businesses I owned - one was a pet and one was my foundation. 

 I'm mostly happy, I'm definitely a little bit lost, and I'm 100% not fulfilled. 

 When I share this with people they’re a little bit taken aback. 

 They think to themselves how is that possible? 

Jason looks 21 years old, 😄 sold several businesses on 3 continents and two in the last year, made good money, has a GOOD audience across all platforms, and has been wildly successful by every objective measure. 

 How isn’t he fulfilled and how is he lost? 

 It's a very fair question and honestly one I feel nervous to talk about publicly out of fear of complaining about a highly privileged problem. 

 But it's a problem nonetheless and one that I know a lot of professionals experience in their lifetime. 

 So what's my answer to their question?

 It's simple. 

 1) Identity is a prerequisite for happiness. 

2) Personal accomplishment does not equate to fulfillment. 

3) And you can’t truly feel settled in your direction unless you understand your purpose. 

 Let’s start with why I’m generally happy. 

 I’m happy because I have immense gratitude for the position that I’m in. 

Financial freedom has given me freedom for how I want to spend my time and because of that, I feel incredibly fortunate to be able to avoid a lot of the typical stressors in life. 

 I’m not worrying about money on a monthly basis. 

 I’m not worrying about work-life balance or if I’ll be able to spend enough time with my loved ones and friends. 

 I’m not worrying about if I have the time or money to care for my physical or mental health. 

And the gratitude I have for not having these worries gives me a high level of base happiness. 

 So why am I not fully content?

 I think it’s because I don’t have a clear direction or purpose. 

 After leaving the CEO seat for two companies, I didn’t just give up my job.

 I gave up my identity. 

 From 2015 to 2023, I was Jason Allan Scott CEO and THE face of Podcasting and A Podcast Company. 

That’s how I perceived myself and that’s how I believed the world perceived me.

And because that’s how I thought about things, I perceived my value as a person to be a reflection of that identity. 

Not the identity of Jason Allan Scott the boyfriend. 

Not the identity of Jason Allan Scott the brother.

 Not the identity of Jason Allan Scott the member of his community. 

 My entire self-worth was defined by my work. 

And so when I left the CEO role two things happened. 

 First, I didn’t know who I was. 

Second

I had 40 hours per week to ruminate about how I didn’t know who I was.  

And that was a realization for me. 

 I always thought financial freedom leading to time freedom was a good thing. 

 And it is, but there’s a very important nuance. 

 The beauty of not having to worry about money is about being able to choose how you spend your time rather than just having a ton of free time. 

 This is why, candidly, the last 4 months after selling has been brutal for me. 

 It is the most directionless I’ve ever felt.  

Since I was a kid, I wanted to do 3 things. 

Get out of South Africa, never be Poor again, and visit Japan. 

So every moment leading up to me getting out of South Africa was in service of that goal.  

Then, I decided to make the leap and move to Taiwan and then Thailand and build my first company, BKK Swimming School, and every moment was spent in service of making that a successful company and the start of my next exits. 

But then after I got out of RSA and sold my swimming school, I knew I could immigrate and that was my goal. 

Then it was my second company and third and fourth ..

I didn’t stop. 

So if I’m honest April 2023 (when I started the stepping down process) was truly the first time in my life that I didn’t have that next thing. 

Now I’ve definitely made progress over the last few months in emerging from what I dramatically call the valley of despair to being in a better place. 

How have I done that?

 First, I spent time identifying the things that made me feel most alive during my time building companies.

 And that was actually pretty easy for me to figure out. 

 I loved being creative.

 I loved being scrappy.

 I loved problem-solving with smart people.

I loved bringing a product ( and a productized service)  into existence. 

I loved selling/storytelling. 

And I loved meeting other founders. 

 Between my work with podcasting as well as pursuing other endeavors like investing in companies, coaching founders, and creating content online, I’ve kept myself busy scratching the itch of those professional things that I’ve loved most. 

 Second, I have tried to better prioritize all of the things in life that were put by the wayside during the most intense building years of my startup life. 

 I got to date again and I got to travel to Japan - finally 

I invested my time in long meetings and longer travel trips. 

I’ve tried to prioritize more things that feel like play, whether it’s drawing again or trying to learn Spanish. 

I like the idea of living in Mexico or Spain on a beach. 

And I’ve spent money on things dedicated to my health like a NeuroScientist, looking for a good nutritionist, and personal trainer, all of which I would have been way too frugal to pay for prior to the latest exits. 

But despite doing all of this reflection and the things that I’ve done to try and push the ball forward, I don’t feel full. 

 I don’t feel like I have a clear direction and I don’t feel like I’m fully living my purpose.

And herein lies the problem.

 I have a few potential paths, but none of them feel like great options. 

One direction is finding a problem and an idea that I’m excited enough about and going all in on building that business as I did with BKK Swimming School, Lokkima or APC. 

 But then the question is for what? 

 Without an idea of something to build that is in service of something bigger than myself (which David Brooks refers to as the second mountain), I’d be victim to a trap that I believe many entrepreneurs fall into. 

Business building can be great for ego building.

 It offers you recognition.

 It offers you financial abundance. 

It offers you a feeling of power.

 It temporarily masks feelings of FOMO or comparison. 

 It’s actually a great way to scratch our extrinsic itch for power, pleasure, greed, and wealth. 

 But if I learned anything from my experience with building and selling companies, none of those things have actually brought me true purpose, direction, or fulfillment. 

 So why would I go through it again? 

Only to be 50 years old and be back in the same spot I am at this very moment. 

From my perspective, the only reason I’d want to fully commit myself to building any business (or anything for that matter) is if I feel like it allows me to live my purpose and be in service of something bigger than myself. 

 But I don’t know what that is yet. 

 Which brings me to the other possible path.  

Doing a lot of things, but not going all-in on anything. 

 And that’s kind of what I’m doing right now.  

 I’m spending time meeting with, advising, and coaching founders, podcasters and YouTubers.

 I’m also looking to play a little bit of judo again and I’m spending time with my loved ones. 

I’m finding opportunities to satisfy my need for learning & play with art, and Spanish.

 Yet I still don’t feel full. 

 So that leaves me right here, in this very moment, thinking about what I do next. 

 And the honest answer is, I have no idea what my next move is and I don’t know that there is a right answer. 

 But here’s what I’m thinking.

 I need to find my Second Mountain. 

 Something that I feel called to. 

Something that allows me to serve others rather than myself. 

 Something that I don’t even question being fully committed to because full commitment becomes the only option. 

 But as I try to climb to the peak of this Second Mountain, there are a few ground rules I know I have to set for myself. 

 The first is that there is no timeline or time limit. 

 I feel so grateful that I’m able to have the privilege to tackle questions around purpose and fulfillment at 48 years old. 

These are questions that can take a lifetime to answer and it feels like a true gift to have an “early” start in that journey. 

But finding something that you want to truly commit to (like actually going all-in on) is a lofty goal and it will likely take a ton of trial and error. 

 I need to have self-compassion during this journey. 

 Which leads to the second rule. 

 Try a lot of sh*t and be in tune with your body. 

 I believe the only way to find your purpose is to look for your purpose, not think about your purpose. 

 Because it’s so easy to over-intellectualize this journey rather than experience things and feel your way through them. 

 And as I try sh*t, I shouldn’t discriminate from the stuff I try. 

 Finding a mission with a new business can be one of those things. 

But I also want to explore things that have no financial or social upside whatsoever. 

 Volunteering with causes I’m passionate about (like community - friendships - mental health initiatives). 

 Spending time being creative whether it’s learning how to sketch again or refining my public speaking skills. 

 Spending time being a present partner and dad if and when I have a child. 

Maybe going and teaching a class as an adjunct professor. 

 Nothing should be off the table as I try to be called to a vocation, and I should use my intuition to decide what I should test next.  

And the third rule is to acknowledge and navigate what I call "ego creep". 

 As I’m on this journey I’m going to inevitably feel drawn to opportunities that serve my ego. 

 Building another business, doing another podcast, and creating more audience on social media. 

 Those things feel familiar and comfortable and are things that 12-year-old Jace who was bullied and lonely feels so drawn to because he wants to protect 48-year-old Jas. 

I shouldn’t judge this ego creep, it’s in all of us, and trying to push it away won’t do anything. 

 But as I’m thinking about what I give my time to, I just need to remind myself that I got here, to this very moment of directionless and lack of purpose, by spending most of my life chasing my ego.

 So that’s where I’m at.

I’m very grateful. 

And I’m generally happy. 

But I do feel a bit lost. 

And I don’t yet have a deep sense of purpose. 

I don’t know exactly how I’m going to get there, but I have a plan and I’ll keep you in the loop along the way.

As I keep looking and searching ….. 

Thank you to my friends and loved ones and you this community for supporting me and following me.