I Think I'm In Transition

That is, I think I’m hitting another milestone. But as always, I’m kind of ‘late to the party.’ Hitting milestones always seems to happen at a later stage for me than for most normal people.

My transition? From being ‘young’ to being ‘mature.’ Crossing the chasm that bridges my emotional age and my chronological age.

But there’s something interesting, almost comforting, about this transition.

When I was young and reflected on my past, I only saw the world in terms of my strengths. And my goals revolved around projecting those strengths while blissfully ignoring my weaknesses. I viewed others as competitors, and so I, too, was competitive…intensely competitive, in everything I did. And in order to thwart off any challenge from a competitor that threatened me, I needed to project strength and conviction, even dominance.

But as I approach the other side of the bridge and reflect back in time, humility crept into my world, and I see the world very differently now - primarily in terms of my weaknesses, my imperfections, and my innumerable shortcomings that still plague me…big bright flashes of blazing light, while my so-called strengths hover in the shadows. And so my goals now are different and are directed at defeating these weaknesses. A daunting challenge!

One thing that motivates me is that I’m much more curious at this end of my transition – surprisingly curious about almost everything. And my interests seem naturally focused around learning, understanding, and trying my best to attain perspective. And forgiveness.

And as I learn to let go of my yesterdays, I’m rewarded in having less regret about things. And I’m appreciating the simple and eloquent wisdom Emerson wrote with such clarity while he was “in transition:”

·  “Finish each day and be done with it. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense…”

It’s interesting being ‘mature.’ And when I’m dead and take a final look back at my life, I wonder which end of the transition I will have enjoyed more.

Thank you, Noémia Prada , for another pensive, beautiful photo.