Illusion of FEAR Consumes YOU

"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion." - Dalai Lama

Within a flash, within a blink of an eye, my life passes by. Year on year there is a sweet voice within me that nudges me to move on, take the plunge, and make a difference. Then the fear of regret, resentment and rejection overwhelms every part of me and I stop.

This feeling of uncertainty when will it cease to exist. The struggle of life becomes a hindrance in my every step. The sleepless nights haunt my every dream and aspiration. As I carry on walking into this journey called life, in the distance, there is a glimmer of nirvana or is this a delusion of my mind that seeks perfection in all that is.

We all are attached to someone or something. Attachment to our work, family, lover, friends, and much more. Many of us identify ourselves through such attachment. A number of you are aware of this but still, have been unable to fathom the damage this attachment can cause us. The underlying fact is we deny that we are in a state of fear within us thus to cover this fear up we have attachment to something or someone.

It is like the chain and ball effect, something we are unable to see yet deep within ourselves we know the existence of this. Recently, I read that “attachment is an emotional connection. Attachment involves being dependent on something for emotional, mental or physical reasons." What attachment of yours is actually a fear for you?

"Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones." - Thich Nhat Hanh

Well for me I recall I was woken up at 3 o’clock in the morning by a mysterious, mischievous and wonderful stranger. Yet at that moment in time I never realised that the stranger would leave such an impression upon me.

I greeted the individual into my home and was unaware of what would happen next. All I knew was that moment where there was no one but both of us. We drank away as we comfortably spoke to each other. In this deep conversation, we never realised the first ray of sunlight slowly poured through the window.

Many people say miracles do not exist but for me, I would define this as a sweet miracle. Here we sat opposite each other and I was taught how truly blessed I was. For this was a part of my inner soul showing me my true self.

I always imagined my inner self would be ugly to the core but now I saw a beauty that I never knew existed within me. This reflection in front of me was beyond my existence and imagination. For the stranger who sat across me was the true nature of my fear and love.

The stranger was well aware of all the glorious possibilities in life that would make it brighter, sweeter and serene. This magnificent development would truly make life celestial and lovable.  

However amongst this was one core dark element which was wrapped up and creeping into every breath of life; that was fear. There was fear of what if, the fear of being alone, the fear of being lied to, the fear of people saying no when asking for help, the fear of not being loved if one is unable to provide financial support, the fear of no one caring. Self-sabotaging doubts were killing the love of life.

Here I was talking to a reflection of mine on how fear was consuming the mind, heart and the soul. These fears were simply excuses as the path of a loving life was considered a fairy tale. The harsh realities of life and circumstances were eating into all the good thoughts like rats.

Words and phrases such as “I don’t know”, “It’s too hard”, “Maybe”, "I'll try" and “I am scared” were rotting away into every dream and aspiration of life. For it seemed to have a loving and happy life the focus and priority should be on money. 

It is this money that will give security, love from loved love ones, a roof on the head, food, medical assistance, luxury, entertainment, respect from others and maybe more. It is as life is only about acquisition and transaction of money. Even the relationships we have our now measured in terms of money. For everything is now being weighed with money.

The estimated population of the world is over 7 billion. Amongst these billions of people, there are many who have broken away from such a pathetic way of thinking. They have used fear as energy to create positive outcomes. They have shifted and transformed from this mentality into a mentality of “I can do it”. And just like Nike says they have applied the tagline of “Just do it” to themselves.  They have stopped waiting for life to happen or their life to be given to them.

These individuals have shifted the emotion of fear being an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or a threat to: 

• False Evidence Appearing Real
• Feeling Excited Adventurous Read
• Forget Everything And Refocus
• Face Everything And Rise

These individuals still feel fear however they have learned to shift from the conventional thinking of negativity to positivity. As humans, you love to have self-pity yet this is a ridiculous notion that has no productivity for our inner self. Your thoughts frame your life. It is your thinking that determines your reaction and action to situations and interpretation of events. Yet you easily blame circumstances rather than looking into your thinking patterns.

My mysterious, mischievous and wonderful stranger you have a choice to make. Decide where you want to spend your time, effort & energy. Would you like to spend it in a loving life or fearful life? What outcome do you want from your life, a loving life or fearful life? 

Taking 100% responsibility for your life experience is the shift that you need to develop. You know that the path your are taking is the wrong one, a path of the victim mentality. It is the easy way out and is a temporary solution to your challenges in life that will leave painful scars on your mind, heart and soul.

You are human made of flesh, blood and pain. So, you will make mistakes on the way but that does not mean that you keep walking the path of your mistakes. Yet you have a mind, heart and soul that are energized by truly loving yourself and learning from these mistakes. You are allowed to change your path out of your own freewill; you have to do it yourself.

This reflection of mine it is time for you to take the step towards being creative about your life. When you truly love your own life then you will make the right choice. Stop numbing your emotions and release the pain. You are truly blessed and you know it. Take these blessings and stop self sabotaging your true essence of loving yourself truly. Remember there will be only be handful few out there that will support you and will request you to amend your ways (and these individuals will be difficult to come across). 

Self-abuse or getting abused by others physically, mentally or emotionally will lead you in making choices for which you will never forgive yourself. You may not show or talk about regrets, rejections and resentments that you hold within yourself yet they will flow throughout your body like poison ivy and you would consider your existence a bad joke. This sacrifice to fulfill the needs, wants and pleasures of others (and somewhat your own) is consuming your mind, heart, body and soul into a living "hell" and you already feel this. The true nature of the cardinal sins are being committed and have been sugar coated as ways of supporting yours and others life.

Ask yourself the question “what do I truly want for myself?” This is your life,stop being second-rate and humiliating yourself to yourself. You have the power of freewill to make a choice for the good of yourself and to truly love yourself. Now is the time to let go of the piercing pain in your heart and live your true life.

The struggle of overcoming fear starts from self compassion for yourself and others. Being in a state of ruthless compassion with yourself and others only sucks you deeper into the fear.

“Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion. When we focus on ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection - or compassionate action.”  ― Daniel Goleman