I'm Not Impressed

It doesn't take much to impress me. I generally love people immediately, and if something turns me off about them, I can usually still love them even if I don't like them much.

As I've said before, Love is Easy, Like is Hard.

When we moved from Washington DC to Montana, I gave up a job that I liked, and a professional trajectory that was clearly going to be lucrative. For many years after, I spent time falling down the "what if" rabbit hole. I have enjoyed my life here, the community we created, the freedom our children experienced as a result of living in a small town where everything is walking distance, and everyone knows them.

But what if I had stayed in that career trajectory, full of money, luxury, and travel?

This morning I woke up with a huge Ah Ha! moment.

I recently had the experience of hosting a guest in our little town. He's nice, generous, and we enjoyed our time with him. There was something I found annoying, a little tickle that just wouldn't go away. And this morning it came to me:

Almost every story he shared included something he OWNED or used to OWN, something expensive or exclusive he experienced, or someone important he KNEW.

Almost every story included the extraordinary price he or someone else paid for something.

Though he had never been here, and had never met our family, it was as if nothing could impress him or make him enthusiastic because he had already experienced the best of things.

What a sad way to experience life.

My "what ifs" are going away, bit by bit, because I realize now what makes life here so pleasant, and some of what I might have missed had we stayed in that environment:

• People here generally aren't impressed by money, by things, or by names. They want to hear your stories of adventure, stories about the people in your life, they want to know what you think, and what drives you.
• People who live here want to be here, whether it's for the incredible recreation opportunities, the simpler way of life generally experienced, or for the lack of pretentiousness. There are very wealthy people around here, but most of the time you wouldn't recognize them.
• If we stayed in the DC area, I may have been a person impressed with things, with money, and our children are likely to have grown up more entitled, less polite, and more impressed with things, over experiences.

Here is what catches my attention now, the things that make me like you as much as I love you, the characteristics that impress me:

• unending curiosity
• a sense of adventure and spontaneity
• self reflection without narcissism
• being comfortable in your skin, and
• humility - you know what you don't know.

I'm no longer impressed by money or things, though I love to splurge once in a while on good food, travel, and well-made awesome shoes. Now I know what is important to me, and how I define success for myself. Success to me is about the health of my relationships, my sense of self and compassion for others, and constant opportunities for learning and adventure.

What is really important is that I take advantage of the opportunities I have for love, for adventure, for time with people I enjoy, and that I don't face regret in my future for the experiences I didn't have, for the things I didn't do.

If the majority of stories you share revolve around owning things, knowing people, and money you have, you may be missing out on the most important parts of life, and you probably won't know it until it's too late.

Tell me, what impresses you?

Join me at No Longer Virtual in Denver on February 22 and 23, 2018. Early registration opens this Friday, September 1, 2017. Don't miss this opportunity!

Sarah Elkins is a professional coach and consultant, helping people and businesses improve their communication through the art of storytelling. She's also the President of Elkins Consulting, the company making a splash with small, face-to-face, affordable interactive conferences called No Longer Virtual.