The Impact of self-harm by young people on parents and families: A qualitative study
Garry King
Senior Lecturer (Adjunct) at Australian Institute for Suicide Research and Prevention - Griffith University/ Professional Supervision / Guidance Counsellor / Workshop Facilitator
After finding that their child was self harming parents spoke of initial feelings of shock, anger and disbelief. Later reactions included anxiety and guilt. Many parents spoke of social isolation as they withdrew from social contact fearing judgement. Impacts on siblings of young people who self harm included stress, feelings of responsibility and worries of stigma at school. Many siblings were supportive. While many families viewed the future as positive they also spoke of the financial costs of intervention and treatment as well as having to take time away from work. The average age of young people in the study was 15.1 years and all had engaged in multiple acts of self-harm. Depression was common among parents and some related this to their child’s self harm. Common themes of this research were that parents felt a profound sense of isolation and a desire to keep their child’s problems private. Parents needed to take life a day at a time. Many concluded that the self harming was as a result of what they did or did not do resulting in feelings of shame, embarrassment or guilt. Future research needs to include a larger research sample and a wider ethnic diversity. Professional staff working with young people who self harm need to be sensitive to the above mentioned issues and offer support to families.
Full article by Ferrey AE, Hughes ND, Simkin S, Locock L, Stewart A, Kapur N, Gunnell D, Hawton K (United Kingdom) BMJ Open 6, e009631, 2016.
Social Worker
6yAs a parent and social worker I really do understand this from both sides. Thank you Gary for opening up the topic. For parents its a gut wrencing discovery. The parent/s are trying to get over their guilt while trying to deal with why? The teen or child, no minimum age, does it because it feels good and helps them cope. Getting to the why is where it starts. Being a teenager if we were all honest is a really shitty time for most. Throw in the 21st century stressors, peer pressure, the lack of ability to be able to cope, sexual pressures, social media and the list goes on. As a Social Worker it also getting to the why. Its like treating a disease - dont treat the symptoms, treat the underlying causes. Communication between parents and kids is vital. Once that's gone its an uphill battle. As a parent i have learned to shut up and listen. I mean really listen. My teens have taught me how to be a better parent. Self harming is on the rise. Our kids are simply not coping. This is from my experience only. I think many can come up with some great ideas. Research is a great starting block.
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6yI've worked with a number of self-harmers for a number of years now and disagree with being sensitive in this topic. The families need to understand the WHY the child does this with the child, to be able to figure out the how I can help the child and approaching a subject of being sensitive, sends mixed messages to everyone involved including the child. Life is tough and unfair alot of bad things happen and its ok to ask for help and support. Being sensitive needs to be delivered with the balance of some form of accountability for the actions of committing self-harm, and then being consistent in the delivery creates an opportunity for all involved to come out the other side. I know this works as I have done this for a few kids I've worked with. Not saying it will work for everyone but am saying the only way you can help someone change is if they want to change.
Grant writer and multi tasker
6yKeep up the good work Garry.