The Importance of Authenticity in the Legal Profession

Can we be truly authentic as attorneys? We spend so much of our time creating arguments, posturing, being in charge, always in control. Sometimes we have been indoctrinated to working too hard, never complaining, and not setting real boundaries. Do you ever feel as if you are wearing a mask? Perhaps feeling you have to act a certain way around the partner, or say certain things to others in the firm, so that you will be accepted? How does that affect us and how can we change it?

In this edition of The Free Lawyer newsletter, I will discuss what true authenticity is; some of the historical problems with being authentic as an attorney; the key ingredients to being authentic; and some helpful tools to develop a life where we will be real, genuine, and fulfilled.

The Problem With Authenticity In the Legal Profession

Historically, the legal profession has struggled with authenticity. We had a reputation of being disingenuous, misleading, perhaps even fake. Perhaps it came from the very essence of what we do as lawyers, taking one side of an issue and creating arguments to support it.

Part of this problem stems from the competitiveness of legal practice. We get a job in the firm, and we do not want to complain, or set boundaries. We do what is asked, and do more than we are capable of. We “toe the company line” and do not want to make waves. We want to be one of those who succeeds to make partner in a very competitive environment. Even when we are overwhelmed or are asked to do something that is not comfortable with our values, we do it because we feel we have to do. The model where young lawyers work themselves much too hard to move up the ladder to become partner often is not effective for either the lawyer or the law firm.

Then we want to develop our own book of business. We want to bring in more clients to show our value to our firm or to develop more revenues. As a result, we sometimes present a  different image to different clients in an effort to bring in new clients. We are not picky about what clients we represent. We may represent clients who are not compatible with our values or we may take stances that are inconsistent with how we want to practice law.

And if we are in litigation, it is always a game of posturing and frequently of hiding the truth. We are always trying to create a certain image which may not be consistent with the real facts. That is the nature of being a successful litigator.

What is the upshot of this? We begin to feel frustrated, unfulfilled and stressed. We are not happy with what we are doing because we are acting in ways that are not consistent with who we really are.

Is it really possible to be truly authentic as an attorney?

What is authenticity?

Before we answer that question, let’s  uncover what authenticity really means. Most dictionaries define authenticity as “the quality of being genuine or real.” 

Many others have different explanations of what authenticity really means. But most agree that it includes being true to your own personality, values and spirit, regardless of any pressure that you are placed under to act otherwise. You are honest with yourself and with others and you take responsibility for any mistakes or failings. Authenticity is frequently defined as living your life according to your own values and goals rather than those of other people. Your actions are consistent with your values and your ideals. We are truly authentic when our words, actions and behaviors consistently reflect our core identity.

When we are authentic, we speak our opinions honestly and in a healthy way. We set boundaries, and avoid toxic environments. We give ourselves permission to be vulnerable and open. Our decisions and actions align with our values and our beliefs.

Why is it important to be authentic as an attorney? 

 The old model of “grin and bear it” does not work. Stifling our true selves to succeed in the firm and to bring in clients, no matter the conflict between representing them and our own values, leads to frustration, unhappiness and stress. The legal field is growing and changing. We are discovering that wellness and integrity for lawyers are critical. Our clients are expecting and deserve honest and genuine customer-service.

What are some important benefits of being authentic in the legal profession?

1.Satisfied clients. Our clients are entitled to know who we are and how we intend to represent them. When we demonstrate our true self to our clients, we have begun to form a more customer friendly approach. Legal representation is an intensely personal and intimate relationship. Our clients are happier when they know who they are getting, what we are like, and how we will represent them. Being a different attorney to different clients does not serve anyone.

2. Better performance. When we are true to ourselves, acting consistently with our strengths and our values, we are better attorneys. When we enter he doors of our firm not having to worry about acting in a certain way, but can speak our truth, suggest our ideas, and be open about our concerns or frustrations, we are happier and  more successful.

3. A better reputation in the legal profession. Sadly, our reputation with many is not what we want. We are perceived as too expensive, creating fights, making arguments,. We really are paid problem solvers. We are trying to resolve our clients' issues in the most helpful and prompt way. When we act with authenticity, and are straightforward with our client and the opposing party, we can, one attorney at a time, improve the reputation of the legal profession..

4. Personal fulfillment. When we are doing the work we love, with people who value us, acting consistently with our values, working for clients who we appreciate and who appreciate us, we achieve a level of personal fulfillment that many of us have not yet experienced. However, when our work as an attorney conflicts with our true nature or requires us to act in ways inconsistent with our values, we feel frustrated and unhappy on a deeply personal level. Authenticity helps us to achieve the fulfillment that we all deserve.

5. Greater success. Being liked by everyone is not the key to success. What matters is that our client understands us, who we are, what we bring to the table, and how we will manage their matter. That transparency creates a stronger attorney-client relationship and attracts other clients to us. I will not be everyone’s cup of tea. My style may not be what they want. That is okay. But, by being authentic I will find the right client who works well with me, who is truly happy with how I handle their matters and solve their problems. The key to building our law practice is knowing who we are working with, attracting the clients that are a good fit for us.

As an example, in my family law practice, I tell all my prospective clients two things at the beginning of our call. The first is that I am not a pitbull who wants to fight, create arguments, and harm the other spouse. Rather, as a firm and strong advocate, my goal is to be courteous and respectful, and to solve the issues as quickly and promptly as possible. I also do not judge my clients ever, but I do tell them that I want to represent someone who likewise is nice, respectful and responsible. I try to avoid  the problem clients and those who expect me to be something I am not. I found that leads to consistently positive attorney-client relationships.

6. Better wellness. A life of authentic and genuine relationships is a satisfying one. When we are pretending to be something we are not; when we are not speaking our truth; when we feel taken advantage of, we suffer stress, frustration, and burnout. Wellness matters in the legal profession. Practicing authentically as an attorney creates an environment where we are not only fulfilled and successful, but also healthy both physically and emotionally.

How do we achieve greater authenticity as an attorney?

Here are steps you can apply, starting today, to build greater authenticity and create personal freedom for yourself:

1. Take a personal inventory. Step back. Reflect. What is really important to you? What are your core values that really matter? What type of people or endeavors make you feel most energized? What persons or situations make you feel angry or frustrated? Try to determine what values and characteristics are deeply important to you.
2. Identify the gap. Once you have identified your most important values, ascertain what in your life is inconsistent with those values. Where is there a discrepancy between who you are now and what you want to be? Do you try to pretend to be  something at work that you really are not? Do you put on a mask to avoid being seen as you are? Is there a discrepancy between who you really are and how people see you? True authenticity results when the person you really are, is the same as the person you portray yourself to be, and the person that others see.
3. Being truly present. Being mindful of how you are feeling and being present with yourself, regardless of what is going on around you, is a key to authenticity. If you are always distracted by circumstances and noise, you will not be aware of your own feelings. Take a break. Step back. Check in with yourself and see how you’re really feeling about what is going on. As you develop your self-awareness and your mindfulness, you will begin to understand when you were being inauthentic.
4. Be honest and speak your truth. Create open and honest communication with those around you. Be attentive when others speak to you, by listening carefully and maintaining good eye contact. But, be willing to say “no” when you need to. Express your needs and your desires honestly and with confidence. Honest and open communication is both freeing and healthy. The key is to say what you mean and mean what you say, while understanding and respecting the other person’s needs and feelings.
5. Act consistently with your values. Your fulfillment, your health and your personal satisfaction is too important. Whatever your core values are, make sure that others are aware of them, and that they do not force you to act inconsistently with them. Always try to be true to yourself. Authenticity requires that we live according to the core values and beliefs that are most important to us.
6. Establish your boundaries. Many of us lawyers fail to  set healthy boundaries between our work and our home life. Without boundaries, we are receiving client calls on Friday night and Sunday morning; and we are deluged with last-minute demands by partners to work late. We need boundaries so we can establish a balance in our life between our work and our leisure. To be authentic, those around us need to know what we are able to do and what we are not, and what simply is too much. It is okay to say no.
7. Develop a healthy support network. It is important to create healthy relationships both professional and nonprofessional with those we respect and who have similar values. Those relationships can provide us with support when we need it the most. Develop a relationship with a mentor who can be a sounding board, help you reset, and assist you in understanding what is causing your frustration. We should surround ourselves with supportive people who lift us up, and encourage us to be our best ourselves. We are often defined by those we surround ourselves with. Our most important relationships should include those who have similar values, ideals and passions as we do. A strong support network can help us to have clarity on who we are and where we are headed.

Conclusion

Developing a culture of authenticity is important for our legal profession. We will be seen as trained, expert problem solvers who have our client’s best interest at heart. On a personal level, acting authentically allows us to be more successful and fulfilled attorneys. There is nothing more critical to developing our personal freedom than being open, genuine and authentic.

What thoughts in this newsletter resonated with you the most?

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