Imposter Syndrome, Reframing Success & Putting Failure In Context

There is something shiny and sparkling, just beyond reach. With effort, persistence, and some balance, it’s yours. But between you and the shiny thing, looking down, is an abyss. A dark well of doom, doubt and despair and self-sabotage. Into the pit and a downward spiral you go, given a helpful shove by your old friend Self-Doubt. At the bottom of the pit is a sign that says, “See. I told you so..”

What is Imposter Syndrome? It smacks a little of New Age woo that really just describes an old-as-the-dirt aspect of the human condition and psyche. To my mind, it is a lack of self-confidence and self-belief. It’s an inner dialogue, the 4am voice in your head that tells you you’re not good enough.

Good enough to succeed at your job, get a new job, be with your lover or partner, be a good parent, or child. You’re going to get found out and everything will come crashing down around you.

There’s a billboard on the drive to work that says,

“Fred the sales guy is living on other people’s leads, luck and borrowed time..”

Or at the railway station on the commute, the departure board flashes up,

“Sally the Software Engineer only survives because she can use google and Github. Her documentation is rubbish and she’s as Agile as concrete.”

Imposter Syndrome, a term coined by researchers Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes in the late 1970s, describes internal feelings of inadequacy. In the workplace it affects people at all levels of seniority.

Stripping away layers of psychology (and ‘woo’ if you will), it is when you feel like you're not good enough on the inside, even if objectively, evidence and data show you're doing well and performing to expectation.

My working days are spent meeting and speaking with people in and around technology and finance. Often these are people who build things, keep important things running, or manage many people and many things (including millions of pounds of other people’s money), or who sell those things (usually in technology and SaaS).

Those clients and candidates are generally surrounded by excellent minds and highly motivated people. A good dose of Imposter Syndrome will tell you how wonderful everyone else is. Everything they touch seems to turn to gold. You’ll never measure up. It is just a matter of time before you get a tap on the shoulder because you’ve been found out.

A little of the personal – I’m comfortable to share I’ve done a lot of work around what goes on in my head (with still a long way to go, even at my age). From my relationship with alcohol (I haven’t had a drink in almost twenty years, abstinence driven in part by a life changing illness), to CBT to hypnotherapy, I still suffer from the 4am voice.

Here’s the context and here’s the truth – my learned experience as a child was no matter what I did, either at school, in sports, or just cleaning my shoes, it was never good enough, it was never right. Never quite good enough. I’ve dragged those chains around with me all of my life.

The reality is that this is a distortion of the truth and objective reality. The expectations I set myself are often accordingly unrealistic. Those unrealistic expectations can lead to disproportionate disappointment and a journey to self-sabotage. “I’ll take a sledgehammer to this situation and destroy it before you do.”.

I found an article in the Harvard Business Review that summarises the triggers for Imposter Syndrome as:

●        Perfectionism: Striving for excellence is commendable, but it can also fuel feelings of inadequacy. Tech professionals often seek mastery, relentlessly pursuing knowledge and skill.

●        Comparisons: Constantly measuring oneself against peers or industry giants can lead to self-doubt. Remember, everyone has their unique journey.

I can usually mitigate the worst of my own Imposter Syndrome in two ways.

·        Firstly, speaking to the right people and checking in around performance.

·        Secondly, by writing down a journey, chunking it down into stages, and identifying incremental gains (small victories) on the way to the outcome I want or hope for.

This approach helps me reframe what ‘Success’ looks like. It also gives an objective framework around things that don’t work out, ‘Failure’, or things that don’t happen quickly enough (patience is not a virtue I have).

Try it. It may help you.

A healthy company culture can go a long way to helping valued employees manage Imposter Syndrome, self-doubt, and fear that could impact or erode otherwise good performance.

Managers and leaders who are prepared to be open and honest about their own journeys and their own challenges become beacons of hope and powerful people. How vulnerable are you prepared to be with your team (without ‘oversharing’)?

In technology, in finance and other professions, learning is a continuous journey. It isn’t a destination. It’s the same in tech or software sales (and recruitment) – next year your quota is going to go up.

The journey is a series of those small victories I mentioned, those incremental gains and mapped steps towards a goal or outcome. Workplace mentoring is a powerful way of helping people on that journey.

To manage the 4am voice, your own version of Imposter Syndrome, you need to ‘move back, step outside of yourself’ (apologies to Carl McCoy of The Fields of the Nephilim). I’ve given you my approach to mitigating my own gently distorted view of myself and the world. Check it out, talk it out, write it down and compare reality with the mental: keep it real.

Imposter Syndrome need not hinder your progress in life or make you run from an otherwise good opportunity or promising situation. You’re never going to win 100% of the time: acceptance.

In your personal and professional life, try to recognise that you belong. You wouldn’t be here/there in the first place if you didn’t. Learn from setbacks and accept that sometimes things don’t work out despite your best efforts and those of the people around you.

You’re not alone. Sometimes you just need to ask for help - ”Am I doing okay?”  You probably are. The rest is all in your (my) head.