Imposter Syndrome — Strategies for Building Self-Confidence

Have you ever heard the term ‘Imposter Syndrome’?

Just as the term implies, it makes one feel fake, like an imposter, a fraud, a charlatan.

Have you ever felt like an imposter, as if you were pretending to be someone you are not?

The term “Imposter Syndrome” was coined by psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes in 1978. They introduced this concept in their research paper titled “The Imposter Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention.” Originally, Clance and Imes focused on the experiences of high-achieving women, but later research has shown that Imposter Syndrome can affect individuals of all genders and backgrounds. This psychological phenomenon has since gained widespread recognition and has become a subject of study and discussion in various fields, including psychology, education, and career development.

Imposter Syndrome is a psychological phenomenon where individuals, despite their accomplishments, skills, or qualifications, have a deep-rooted internalized belief that they are not competent or capable. They often feel like frauds or impostors who will eventually be exposed as inadequate. This can lead to self-doubt, anxiety, and a constant fear of being “found out.”

As a Life Design Consultant and Transformational Coach, I have come across many clients who struggle with the Imposter Syndrome. Here is what I found as the few common characteristics of this issue:

1. Impostor Syndrome often goes hand in hand with perfectionism. People with this syndrome tend to set unrealistically high standards for themselves and feel like failures when they don’t meet them.
2. Discounting Success is also a common theme. By default, they tend to downplay their achievements, attributing them to external factors like luck or the efforts of others rather than acknowledging their own abilities and contributions.
3. Paradoxically, individuals with Imposter Syndrome tend to be overachievers. They often work extremely hard and achieve success using their Perfectionism as a benchmark. They also believe that their accomplishments are due to extra effort rather than competence.
4. Fear of Failure and being found out is a constant companion. There is a constant fear of making mistakes or failing, which sometimes leads to avoidance of challenges or missing out on new opportunities. After all, they know how to do what they are perfecting themselves at!
5. High Self-criticism is a common trait among those with Imposter Syndrome. They tend to beat themselves up by focusing on their perceived shortcomings and failures rather than recognizing their strengths.
6. Comparisonitis is another trait that marks persons who deal with Imposter Syndrome. They compare themselves to others constantly and assume that everyone else is more competent or knowledgeable.
7. Stress and anxiety are undercurrents in their life and they may also find themselves having panic attacks due to the constant fear of being found out. This has a massive impact on their mental and physical well-being.

Do you recognize yourself in some or any of the above?

So, why does one end up with this? What contributes to your feeling like a fraud, even when you are competent, skilled and have a proven track record of great performance?

A lot of our issues, rather all of them can be traced back to our childhood experiences.

Upbringing can play a significant role in contributing to Imposter Syndrome in concurrence with various other influences such as personality, societal expectations, and personal experiences. Recognizing the role of upbringing in the development of Imposter Syndrome is essential to addressing and overcoming it.

Oftentimes times parents seek to live their dreams through their children, forgetting that each child is an individual with their own preferences, likes, hates, talents and unique personality!

Growing up in an environment where there are consistently high expectations for achievement can lead to a perfectionist mindset. Children who are constantly pushed to excel academically or in other areas may develop a fear of not meeting these expectations, which can contribute to a loss of self-esteem and Imposter Syndrome later in life. If a child’s accomplishments are not consistently acknowledged or celebrated by caregivers or authority figures, they may internalize the belief that their achievements are not significant or that they are not truly competent. This lack of validation contributes to feelings of inadequacy and a constant striving to level up to unrealistic standards.

Sibling rivalry or frequent comparisons to peers can create a sense of competition and an excessive need to constantly prove oneself. Children who are consistently compared to others and feel they fall short have a strong likelihood of developing Imposter Syndrome as adults. Caregivers who are overly critical or frequently point out mistakes without offering constructive feedback contribute to a negative self-image and self-doubt.

Overprotective parenting styles can inadvertently convey the message that the child is not capable of handling challenges on their own. As a result, individuals raised in such environments may doubt their ability to succeed independently. Cultural and gender norms can also significantly impact the development of Imposter Syndrome. Individuals may feel like impostors if they deviate from parental expectations in cultures or families where there are rigid expectations for success or where certain roles are fixed and expected of them as the progeny.

Focusing on praising a child’s innate abilities rather than their efforts can contribute to Imposter Syndrome. When children are consistently told they are “smart” or “talented” instead of being encouraged to embrace the value of effort and hard work and learning from mistakes, when they face up to the harsh reality of the world outside, they may fear failure and the loss of their perceived innate abilities.

Do you see anything in your own upbringing from the above?

How to combat Imposter Syndrome effectively?

Combating Imposter Syndrome effectively involves a combination of self-awareness, mindset shifts, and practical strategies.

Everything in your life starts with Self-Awareness. Start by recognizing and acknowledging that you are experiencing Imposter Syndrome and your awareness is the first step in addressing this.

Flip the script running in your mind by using positive affirmations and empowering self-talk to counter negative thought patterns and self-talk. Encourage yourself to replace self-doubting thoughts with affirmations that reinforce competence and self-worth. Reframe your tendencies of perfectionism by understanding that perfection is not attainable, and mistakes are a natural part of learning and growth. We are all human and we are doing the best we can. Embrace the concept of “good enough.”

This can be easier to deal with by keeping track of your achievements. Keep a journal of your achievements and successes. This can serve as tangible evidence of your competence and help counter feelings of inadequacy.

Set Realistic Goals: Work with clients to set achievable, incremental goals. This can boost confidence as they see themselves making progress.

Challenge Negative Beliefs: Use cognitive-behavioral techniques to challenge and reframe negative beliefs about one’s abilities. Ask clients to provide evidence that contradicts their feelings of being an imposter.

Mindfulness and Self-Compassion: Incorporate mindfulness and self-compassion practices into your routine. These techniques can help individuals stay present, reduce self-criticism, and cultivate self-acceptance.

Stay on your own track and run your own race: Imagine yourself on the racetrack with only one person to beat, i.e. yourself!

Seek Support: Encourage clients to talk openly about their feelings of Imposter Syndrome with a trusted friend, mentor, or therapist. Sometimes, sharing these feelings can alleviate their impact.

Celebrate Successes: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. This reinforces a positive self-image.

Continuous Learning: Embrace a growth mindset and emphasize that learning is a lifelong journey. Encourage clients to view challenges and new experiences as opportunities for growth rather than potential failures.

Group Support: Consider group coaching or support groups where individuals with Imposter Syndrome can connect, share their experiences, and learn from one another.

Professional Help: In severe cases, or if Imposter Syndrome significantly impacts daily life or work, it may be beneficial to seek professional counselling or therapy.

As a coach, I help clients identify and overcome Imposter Syndrome by using techniques from NLP, CBT, and counselling, underpinned by mindfulness. I help them reframe their thoughts, build self-confidence, set realistic expectations, and support them in conquering these feelings of inadequacy and achieving their goals with confidence.

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome is possible. It is a winning process, and steady gradual progress helps in building self-confidence, recognising your true capabilities, and ultimately combating Imposter Syndrome effectively!

As a mindfulness practitioner and life-design coach, I help clients focus on well-being and personal growth and make life choices that prioritize their mental and emotional health. This leads to personal freedom and independence allowing the person to blossom and manifest the life they deserve. Connect with me if you are seeking to go forward on your journey.