Imposter Syndrome: we've all got it - we're just not talking about it

The feelings of loneliness and self-doubt when I was the CEO of my VC-funded start-up, were not only real, but they were at times defeaning. I felt like I was one breath, one conversation, one question away from being uncovered as the unqualified, inexperienced, fraud that I feared and believed I was. I kept it all in but didn’t turn inwards to work through those feelings. I suppressed these feelings and thought the solution was working harder, projecting more, and ultimately stifling myself as I worked harder and harder to create an increasingly relentless facade in front of my investors, team, and customers. Ultimately it crushed me. My only option was to leave the company I founded and feel alone, on my own hoping that the solitude would enable me to stop the hamster wheel.

I was wrong though, especially on the thought of being alone. 

Amongst a surprising number of my CEO clients feel exactly the same way and the research backs this up - according to one survey, 84% of entrepreneurs experience imposter syndrome. 

So what is it, and why aren’t we talking about it more so we can move through it and shake off its debilitating effects?

What Is Imposter Syndrome?

Impostor syndrome refers to an experience of believing you are not as competent as others perceive you to be. 

While this definition is usually narrowly applied to intelligence and achievement, it has links to perfectionism as well as social context.

The term was first used by psychologists Suzanna Imes and Pauline Rose Clance in the 1970s. When the concept of Imposter Syndrome, or Imposter Phenomenon was introduced, it was originally thought to apply mostly to high-achieving women. Fortunately, since then it has been recognized as affecting everyone regardless of sex or gender, and in fact, some surveys suggest men suffer from it more than women.

To put it simply, imposter syndrome is the experience of feeling like a phony. You feel as though at any moment you are going to be found out as a fraud, and this crushing threat of potential shame leaves you feeling like you don't belong where you are, and that you only got there through luck. 

People with impostor syndrome often attribute their success to external factors such as luck or other people and take every setback as a threat as it potentially exposes their inadequacy.

Given the tendency of people with impostor syndrome to aggressively pursue achievement while not being able to accept recognition when success is achieved, affected employees may experience increased levels of stress, burnout, and decreased job performance and satisfaction over time.

It can affect anyone - regardless of their position, background, status, qualification or expertise.

But, one thing’s for sure, it massively affects CEOs, especially first-time founders who may not have led an organisation before. There is so much that they could know, and so they often see all of this uncertainty and lack of knowledge as evidence that they don’t belong in their role and that they are going to be found out at any moment!

How do you know if you are suffering from Imposter Syndrome

There's no official diagnosis as to what Imposter Syndrome is, partly because it is more of a phenomenon rather a mental health condition, here's a checklist of common indicators:

• Pervasive self-doubt about your past, current, and future experiences;
• Persistent fear that you're going to be “found out” or discovered as a fraud, in spite of demonstrable success;
• Success is often attributed to luck and can in fact brings distress instead of elation.
• Seeking validation from authority figures such as a boss or family member and giving them the power to dictate whether you are successful or not.

How common is Imposter Syndrome?

Just about anyone can get it, and at some point will have suffered from imposter syndrome or self-doubt.

Unfairly, because women are generally more open with their emotions, imposter syndrome can be associated with women - Michelle Obama has spoken out on the topic - but studies suggest the phenomenon is experienced equally by both genders. Men, as we can probably imagine, are just less open to talking about it!

“Originally, the thought was that women experience it disproportionately,” says Ervin. “But the limited research we have does not substantiate that. Men experience imposter syndrome, but their expression of it may appear differently.” Due to gender norms and fear of backlash, men are possibly less likely to externalize their feelings.

An increasing number of surveys suggest around 25 to 30 percent of high achievers may suffer from imposter syndrome, whilst 70 percent of adults experience imposter syndrome at least once in their lifetime.

Why we get Imposter Syndrome?

Personality traits largely drive imposter syndrome. Those who typically experience it struggle with self-efficacy, perfectionism, and anxiety.

However, it is important to note that the occurrence of anxiety can also be driven by acute, and temporary, states of being. I.e. high stress situations, coupled with a lack of certainty around the business and high levels of concern about the businesses viability can create severe emotional environments for Founders and CEOs, and in those moments it is not surprising that people are screaming at themselves with self-doubt

The Difference between Imposter Syndrome and Self-doubt

A huge, and stigmatised, concept in psychology is shame. Brene Brown has done a huge amount of work in exploring and opening up the topic. I'm not going to try and dissect all of this work now except to acknowledge the concept of 'healthy shame'. This is the shame we learned when we took our (metaphorical) first steps of independence from our primary caregiver - it taught us that our capabilities were limited and that we were not all-powerful demi-gods. We could fall, experience pain, hurt ourselves, feel alone. 

A lot of the time, when we are feeling self-doubt, we are in a way experiencing this healthy shame which is keeping our arrogance in check and reminding us to think things through, proceed with care, and not rush brazenly.

There's nothing wrong with occasional self-doubt. The key, most experts agree, is frequency. Most people feel like an imposter at some point in their lives, especially in intimidating scenarios, whether they're on a blind date, at a new job, or speaking in front of a large crowd.

The important questions to ask yourself are:

• Is your self-doubt developmentally appropriate?
• Is it a persistent, nagging, ongoing experience? Or is it a temporary, situational experience

Temporary feelings of self-doubt are possibly healthy by making sure we think things through. Persistent feelings of inferiority or a lack of capability are probably excessive levels of concern and represent imposter syndrome. In any single situation it will be holding us back, but over time it will be accumulating into a major performance blocker.

Types of Imposter Syndrome?

Imposter syndrome can appear in a number of different ways. A few different types of imposter syndrome may include:

The Perfectionist

Perfectionism and Imposter Syndrome often go together. When perfectionists set overly high goals for themselves, they often feel disappointed if they don't meet their goals. They then become worried about whether they're meeting their own standards. Whether they realize it yet or not, this group feels like if they want something to be done right, they have no choice but to do it themselves

Ask yourself these questions to find out if this applies to you:

• Have you ever been told that you're too controlling?
• Do you have trouble delegating? When you do delegate, do you feel frustrated at not being able to input and disappointed in the results?
• When you fall short of your own high standards, do you ruminate on it for days?
• Do you feel like you have no choice but for your work must be 100% perfect, 100% of the time?

For this type, success is rarely satisfying because they believe they could've done even better. But that's neither productive nor healthy. Owning and celebrating achievements is essential if you want to avoid burnout, find contentment, and cultivate self-confidence.

Learn to take your mistakes in stride, viewing them as a natural part of the process. In addition, push yourself to act before you're ready. Force yourself to start the project you've been planning for months. Truth is, there will never be the “perfect time” and your work will never be 100% flawless. The sooner you're able to accept that, the better off you'll be.

The Superhero

Since people who experience this phenomenon are convinced they're phonies amongst real-deal colleagues, they often push themselves to work harder and harder to measure up. But this is just a false cover-up for their insecurities, and the work overload may harm not only their own mental health but also their relationships with others.

Ask yourself these questions to find out if this applies to you:

• Do you stay later at the office than the rest of your team, even past the point that you've completed that day's necessary work?
• Do you get stressed when you're not working and find downtime completely wasteful?
• Have you left your hobbies and passions fall by the wayside, sacrificed to work?
• Do you feel like you haven't truly earned your title (despite numerous degrees and achievements), so you feel pressed to work harder and longer than those around you to prove your worth?

Workaholics are actually addicted to the validation that comes from working, not to the work itself. If this is you, start training yourself to veer away from external validation by setting your own standards before attempting any task. No one should have more power to make you feel good about yourself than you. But, this doesn't mean you should do away with constructive feedback. Take a breath, take it seriously, just not personally.

As you become more attuned to internal validation and able to nurture your inner confidence that states you're competent and skilled, you'll be able to ease off the gas as you gauge how much work is reasonable.

The Natural Genius

Young says people with this competence type believe they need to be a natural “genius.” As such, they judge their competence-based ease and speed as opposed to their efforts. In other words, if they take a long time to master something, they feel shame.

These types of imposters set their internal bar impossibly high, just like perfectionists. But natural genius types don't just judge themselves based on ridiculous expectations, they also judge themselves based on getting things right on the first try. When they're not able to do something quickly or fluently, their alarm sounds.

Ask yourself these questions to find out if this applies to you:

• Are you used to excelling without much effort?
• Do you have a track record of getting “straight A's” or “gold stars” in everything you do?
• Were you told frequently as a child that you were the “smart one” in your family or peer group?
• Do you dislike the idea of having a mentor, because you can handle things on your own?
• When you're faced with a setback, does your confidence tumble because not performing well provokes a feeling of shame?
• Do you often avoid challenges because it's so uncomfortable to try something you're not great at?

To move past this, try seeing yourself as a work in progress. Accomplishing great things involves lifelong learning and skill-building for everyone, even the most confident people. Rather than beating yourself up when you don't reach your impossibly high standards, identify specific, changeable behaviors that you can improve over time.

For example, if you want to have more impact at the office, it's much more productive to focus on honing your presentation skills than swearing off speaking up in meetings as something you're “just not good at.”

The Soloist

Sufferers who feel as though asking for help reveals their phoniness are what Young calls Soloists. It's OK to be independent, but not to the extent that you refuse assistance so that you can prove your worth.

Ask yourself these questions to find out if this applies to you:

• Do you firmly feel that you need to accomplish things on your own?
• “I don't need anyone's help.” Does that sound like you?
• Do you frame requests in terms of the requirements of the project, rather than your needs as a person?

The Expert

Experts judge their competence by measuring “what” they know or “how much’ they know. They believe they will never be good enough, so they fear being exposed as incompetent or ignorant. They are therefore perpetually trying to learn or understand more, thinking just one more book, course, seminar, skill will finally enable them to 'be' enough and give themselves permission to do what they are probably perfectly capable of doing already.

Ask yourself these questions to find out if this applies to you:

• Do you shy away from applying to job postings unless you meet every single educational requirement?
• Are you constantly seeking out training or certifications because you think you need to improve your skills in order to succeed?
• Even if you've been in your role for some time, can you relate to feeling like you still don't know “enough?” Do you shudder when someone says you're an expert?

It's true that there's always more to learn. Striving to bulk up your skillset can certainly help you make strides professionally and keep you competitive in the job market. But taken too far, the tendency to endlessly seek out more information can actually be a form of procrastination.

Start practicing just-in-time learning. This means acquiring a skill when you need it–for example if your responsibilities change–rather than hoarding knowledge for (false) comfort.

Mentoring junior colleagues or volunteering can be a great way to discover your inner expert. When you share what you know it not only benefits others but also helps you heal your fraudulent feelings.

No matter the specific profile, if you struggle with confidence, you're far from alone. To take one example, studies suggest 70% of people experience imposter syndrome at some point in their career.

If you've experienced it at any point in your career, you've at one point or another chalked up your accomplishments to chance, charm, connections, or another external factor. How unfair and unkind is that? Take today as your opportunity to start accepting and embracing your capabilities.

Why do you feel imposter syndrome?

In large part, you experience imposter syndrome because of who you are. Individuals like you who are used to setting goals, working diligently towards those goals, learning and growing to challenge themselves and expecting eventual success are the ones prone to imposter syndrome. Why? To start, highly motivated, driven individuals like you tend to work around other highly motivated, driven individuals. When you compare yourself to those around you, it can create self-doubt because the standard is high. 

Another reason might be your personality. Maybe you identify as a perfectionist. You are striving to do things to the best of your ability, but then you question whether you’ve done all you could. By setting up these unrealistic standards, you never attain success because the definition keeps changing. Or you might feel inadequate, so you work as hard as you can to overcompensate for this feeling. Maybe you are trying to be the expert, and by establishing this as your goal, you attempt to learn everything but are never satisfied that you know enough. You tend to downplay your knowledge and your expertise.

For many, it is a combination of all three factors that contribute to imposter syndrome. The reality is that if you are feeling like a fraud, you’ve had some measure of success in your life. You are either afraid of losing the success, or, more likely, you discount the success to luck.

Real imposters, don’t feel imposter syndrome - so if you’re feeling it, you’re doing something right.

Why don’t the actual imposters feel imposter syndrome? Those people who don’t experience imposter syndrome are imposters for any number of reasons:

• They haven’t experienced success, so they have nothing to lose. 
• They have a delusional perception of themselves, sometimes believing their own lies or twisted interpretations of reality.
• They are genuine con artists or narcissists. 

Imposters present as incredibly confident. When we are around them, we get sucked into their lies, sometimes never doubting them. When we do question them, they support their lies in stronger ways, leaving us questioning why we doubted them.

Overall, imposters are willing to exaggerate their skills in interviews or on resumes, embellish or create stories about their backgrounds, or put themselves in the spotlight to get the attention and status they want. When they are discovered as the imposters they are, they tend to react in two ways — with aggression or defensiveness, or by disappearing, removing themselves from the situation in which their lack of ability was called out.

How to move through Imposter Syndrome

Most people believe imposter syndrome is a feeling. It is not. Imposter syndrome is a series of irrational and illogical thoughts. The beauty of this fact is you can learn strategies to control your thoughts and by doing so, you can reduce or eliminate imposter syndrome. Here are five steps to help you think, feel and function at your best.

1. Label your emotions

The good news is that just recognizing you are feeling certain thoughts can help you stop them. So you need to get in the habit of hearing your own self-doubts. If you hear yourself say, “I don’t deserve this,” or “It was just luck,” pause and note that you are having impostor syndrome thoughts.

2. Replace thoughts and beliefs with facts

Our brains will focus on what we tell them to focus on. With imposter syndrome, our brains are functioning from an illogical belief system and will search for any information to support the imposter syndrome. To eliminate dysfunctional thoughts, we must replace those thoughts with facts, logic, and evidence. Resumes, professional evaluations, and concrete accomplishments are all sources of reality-based data to replace the thoughts creating the imposter syndrome.

3. Build your practices

For individuals with imposter syndrome, there is often the belief that they need to create new ways to accomplish tasks in order to be successful. They spend their time worrying about how to do things better or in unique ways to distinguish themselves. The reality is that there is no need to reinvent the wheel. Employing skills, behaviors, and methods that have been successful in past situations can create success in current and future situations. Why not use validated success strategies rather than creating new ones that have no data to support their efficacy?

4. Find your tribe

It can be lonely as a business owner or consultant when you don't have a team or regular contact with other founders. But the best thing to help break out of the cycle of doubt is to surround yourself with cheerleaders - the people who make you feel positive about your skills and achievements.

5. Talk to a mentor or coach and share your feelings

In many articles I have read regarding imposter syndrome, a common piece of advice is to talk to someone about your feelings. Often the articles reference talking to your boss, colleague or a friend, and this advice is faulty. These individuals might be valuable when you want to vent, but they are not trained in approaches to help you reduce or eliminate imposter syndrome, nor are they regulated by confidentiality guidelines. Seeking out an executive coach, trained in areas of brain or behavior functioning, will ensure you receive expert support in a safe environment.

6. Let go of perfectionism

Perfectionism is the energy source for imposter syndrome. The idea of being perfect or doing things perfectly creates some of the irrational and unrealistic standards that contribute to imposter syndrome and, ultimately, undermine goals. Some perfectionistic individuals focus so much energy and time on doing things perfectly that they never finish the goal at hand. Doing things well, using your strengths and accomplishing them within the designated time can be your focus and a way to reduce imposter syndrome.

7. Write down your vision of success

Writing down your goals is a strategy toward goal achievement, but it also clearly establishes your measurement of the goal. It creates the boundary to maintain your focus so it does not stray towards something bigger or better. By writing down your goal, it also becomes a tool to measure your success based on the stated goal, not something more perfect. If you compare your outcome to the written goal, it becomes the litmus test for success and can prohibit your brain from spinning in the direction of imposter syndrome.

8. Recognise and record

When you feel that inner voice cropping up and whispering, 'You can't possibly do this, everyone will figure out you're a fraud,' the first step is to call it out. Be aware of how you're feeling and acknowledge what's going on. Once you've identified it then ask yourself, Why am I feeling like this? What's just happened to trigger this? And finally, ask yourself, Am I justified in feeling this? Or am I just getting carried away? This can help break the trance and stop you from running away with these feelings.

9. Reframe your mindset

 Our retreat from situations is part of our primal brain function, our fight or flight mode, which is there to protect you. In the modern context, our mind triggers a flight response in situations where you don't want to make a fool of yourself. Jane suggests that you can reframe it to see it as a good thing. It is an opportunity to remind yourself of your skills by replying to the voice, 'I hear you, I know what you're saying, but, you know, you don't have to worry, because I've got these skills. I've done this before.' Put together a list of your strengths, remind yourself of past achievements, look at testimonials or past emails thanking you for your work.

10. Be realistic

Nobody knows everything, even if it appears that way sometimes. We are all learning and, it's ok to say you don't know something. Again, this is an opportunity to grow, to recognise where you have gaps and feel ok with saying, 'I'm not quite sure what the answer to that is, but I can go and find that out and get back to you.' This is yet another technique, not a weakness. Stretching yourself means you will encounter moments when you don't know something, so being realistic about this will help you learn and move forward.

11. Recognise and journal on your success

It is much easier said than done to accept when things have gone well. This one might take some practice, but it is just as important to celebrate your successes. You can do this for yourself by writing it down, telling close friends or your tribe. You can also do it by sharing on social media or promoting on your website or through newsletters. Keep note of your successes and store them somewhere. Jane describes her 'positivity folder' - a bank of positive feedback for those future moments when imposter syndrome strikes.

How I can help?

I am a prolific and impact-focused, venture capital investor, leadership coach, sustainability, and fundraising consultant. I’m also a serial founder who works with dozens of sustainability and cleantech founders and investors.

VC Investor: I am a professional impact investor at Vala Capital, where I lead their UK-orientated sustainability fund. I sit on a number of boards and advise countless more.

Coach: I’m a Venture and Leadership Coach to sustainability CEOs around the world and coaches clients from the Far East, Europe and North America in sectors as diverse as Hydrogen, Circularity, BatteryTech, Retail, Hospitality and Energy Storage, WaterTech and Media.

Adviser: I’m also an adviser and mentor to Third Derivative in the US, and Bethnal Green Ventures in the UK, as well as being on the steering committee at VentureESG. 

Ex-Founder: I am a serial founder and have raised multiple investment rounds from notable VC investors including Anthemis and Axa Venture Partners.

Corporate Finance: Prior to founding Goji, I worked for one of the UK's most prolific corporate finance firms, where I advised on several $bn of transactions across public and private markets for some of the world's leading investment groups.

Find out more about how my 1:1 Venture Coaching helps Sustainability-orientated CEOs to become the best leaders they can be at www.Jakewombwellpovey.com