And (in)action…video calls and the pressure to perform

“Hey, great idea. Shall we jump on a video call to discuss?”

 Urrrghhh….

 Sometimes, sorry but just “NO!” 

 Especially if like me, you are battling whatever this virus thingy is that appears to be doing the rounds.

 Of course, for many people, this feeling runs far deeper and is more psychological than just not feeling quite so tickety-boo.

Let’s face it—we’ve all caught our reflections on a video call and had a moment of Oh no, is that what I look like? 

You’re not alone! This constant self-viewing has led to what’s now called Zoom dysmorphia, where seeing ourselves on that small screen day in and day out can really mess with our self-image.

Think about it: in face-to-face meetings, we’re focused on each other, not ourselves. But on a video call, that tiny self-view window is like an inescapable mirror, amplifying every little thing we’d rather not scrutinize. 

Younger professionals, in particular, have shared with me how this heightened self-awareness on camera makes them second-guess their expressions, posture—even their participation. This effect isn’t just a surface-level distraction; it can truly hold us back, making us worry more about how we appear than what we’re actually saying.

Over time, this pressure has a real impact. In fact, studies have shown that prolonged self-focus on video calls can fuel anxiety and even prompt people to consider cosmetic changes they might not otherwise have considered. 

But here’s the thing: the camera doesn’t tell the whole truth. It’s like a fun-house mirror, distorting how we see ourselves, exaggerating certain features while downplaying others. And when we rely on that distorted image, it’s no wonder we feel the pressure to look flawless.

So, how can we get back to focusing on connection, not perfection? Here are some tips we live by using the Think Forward approach:

1. Set realistic expectations for camera time. Don’t be afraid to take an audio-only break if it helps you stay focused.
2. Shift the focus to what really matters. It’s your ideas and contributions that count, not a perfectly polished on-screen look.
3. Prioritise comfort and authenticity. Showing up just as you are (and as you would in person) can reduce stress and make calls feel more natural.

Let’s challenge this idea that we need to look flawless on every call. 

After all, our best selves shine through when we feel comfortable, engaged, and free to be ourselves—not when we’re hyper-focused on the screen. You’re more than what a camera shows, so let’s make our Zoom time about real conversations, not self-critiques.