Inclusion Illusion

I booked a taxi to attend an inclusion event. 🚖 As I stood alone in a corner, a familiar scene unfolded before me: people clustering in groups, drawn to others who looked and sounded just like them. When the event began, I noticed the organizing team—mixed-gendered but all of similar age, education, job profile, nationality, and even hair color. This team of "inclusion advocates" seemed remarkably homogeneous. 👥 The panel discussion mirrored this, with speakers from nearly identical backgrounds and experiences.

During the break, I searched for something vegetarian and found only a few pieces of fruit—a common scenario. It reminded me of another time while leading a business excellence assessment. The company leader spoke proudly about their diversity and inclusion initiatives, only to later confide how happy he was with his living situation—all his neighbors shared his nationality, faith, and even regional background. Just hours earlier, he had passionately advocated for inclusion, yet here he was, content with the absence of difference in his personal life. 🏢

Diversity is a numbers game; inclusion is a matter of the heart.

I have countless stories like these, and they make me wonder: Who are we really fooling with these checklists? 📋 Don’t believe me? Just observe the next event, meeting, or social gathering you attend. Notice with whom people choose to sit, whom they smile at, who shares the stage, and how welcoming (or dry) people are toward someone who seems different. Just observe without justifying it, and you’ll see what I see every day. I’m not saying efforts toward inclusion don’t exist, but too often, inclusion remains on paper rather than embedded in the heart. 💔

True inclusion becomes institutionalized only when it is deeply felt, natural, and lived every day.

✨ True inclusion ✨ goes beyond ticking boxes for nationalities, genders, or physical abilities. It’s about creating an environment where people feel they belong, where their uniqueness is celebrated, and where they are genuinely welcomed and not judged. 💬 It’s not enough to have diverse faces in the room; we must actively engage with those who don’t resemble us. It’s choosing to sit beside someone unfamiliar, showing genuine curiosity about their culture, and respecting their choices and boundaries.

💭 Have you ever been in a group where others start conversing in a language you don’t understand? You’re left glancing around, trying to make sense of it, eventually pulling out your phone or excusing yourself. Inclusion that’s not felt in the heart is no inclusion at all. ❤️

At an inclusion event, I once asked a leader about their children’s friends. They listed a few—all from similar backgrounds. We live in a city with over 100 nationalities 🌏 yet so often we subconsciously select people like ourselves for our lives and our children’s lives. Perhaps it’s because, deep down, we have yet to open our hearts to true inclusion. 💫

If you don’t believe in it deep down, there’s no way you can truly bring it to life.

In another event, I saw two colleagues arguing over whose religious fasting style was more difficult, each trying to prove they were somehow "better" than the other. 😕 When we’re focused on proving our own worth, we lose sight of the beauty in others. 💔

🚪 The janitor hesitates by the elevator, waiting for the past five minutes, when suddenly, the MD arrives. In another corner of this same workplace, some washrooms remain locked, accessible only to certain nationalities, while others use the few open facilities. When I asked why this hadn’t been raised with HR, the team revealed that even in the HR building, certain washrooms are reserved by nationality.

I could share countless stories like these, each one revealing the illusion of inclusion that surrounds us. I’m at a stage where keeping silent is no longer an option; I want these uncomfortable conversations to come to light so we can create a better world for the generations to come. 🌱

💡 Real inclusion requires us to recognize these subtle, everyday barriers and genuinely dismantle them—not just for show but to create a workplace where everyone belongs, is respected, and is valued beyond nationality, role, or position. It’s time we stop merely talking about inclusion and start living it.

Inclusion is about behavior change, about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, and about seeing the world through their eyes. 👀 It’s about seeking possibilities, not making excuses. Inclusion is like love—you can’t force it. You create a space where people feel welcome, valued, and seen, and they naturally respond. ❤️

Many inclusion events I’ve attended are filled with people who avoid or overlook those who don’t resemble them. Does it hurt? Perhaps not, as I gain new stories from each experience. But what stings is the subtle isolation—the feeling of being overlooked or sidelined.

Inclusion means seeing someone for who they are, asking questions to understand them, and recognizing what makes them special, rather than comparing them with our own beliefs. 🌈 It’s not a competition; it’s a collaboration that requires an open heart and an open door. 🚪❤️

If we want truly inclusive workplaces and communities, we must move beyond checklists.

If we want truly inclusive workplaces and communities, we must move beyond checklists. We must invite inclusion into our hearts, our homes, and our conversations. Only then can we embrace inclusion for everyone, whether they are single parents, parents of children with special needs, people with disabilities, or those who simply look, think, or believe differently. 🌟

🌍 When my daughter was three, she asked, "Amma, why aren’t my friends like me?" I told her, “Imagine if everyone looked, thought, and acted the same. The world would be so boring, like robots in a line. Our differences are what make life beautiful.” 💐

Our differences are what make life beautiful

My husband and I come from different regions of India. Though we share the same nationality, our cultures bring unique foods, beliefs, ideologies, and even languages. 🥘 It took time—and openness—to become truly inclusive within our own relationship. Inclusion is not about agreeing with everything or leaving yourself behind; it's about welcoming the beauty of differences. 💫

For inclusion to flourish, here are a few simple steps: 📝

1. Observe what’s happening around you. 👀
2. Reflect on your own behavior. 💭
3. Seek to genuinely understand others. 🌈
4. Stand in someone else’s shoes and see the world through their eyes. 🌍
5. Lower your guard and open your heart to new experiences. ❤️

Inclusion isn’t about sameness. It’s about creating a world that celebrates the beauty in our differences, where everyone belongs.

Share with someone you care about.

Neetu Choudhary

discuss@neetuchoudhary.com

🏆 Award-winning keynote speaker, internationally recognized corporate trainer, UAE's top professional development coach, author, idea presentation advisor, and business excellence expert.

You might also be interested in another insightful newsletter by Neetu Choudhary, Stay Relevant:Be Future Ready. This newsletter is focused in business and professional development using Neuroscience, Behavioral Science, Six Sigma and Business Excellence strategies.