International Friendship Day

Mencap colleagues Richard and Dean met 16 years ago, quickly becoming firm friends. Here's what their relationship means to them.

Where it started

Richard: Dean and I became friends when I started at Mencap in 2008. On my first day I was shy and nervous and I didn’t know who I could turn to. Then I found Dean. I first met Dean at our previous office at Golden Lane and he showed me around. He helped me understand about Mencap and meet people.

Dean: I was remembering on my first day starting a new organisation, where you don’t know anyone and you don’t really know how it’s going to work out, it’s actually very stressful and nerve-racking especially as I had no confidence, but I remember the kindness I had from my manager and all my colleagues and that really helped me to settle in. Even then it takes a while to get your head around everything.

So when Richard joined and I met him, I wanted him to feel at home and relaxed and to enjoy the experience of working for such a wonderful organisation like Mencap.

Supporting each other

R: Dean helped me write down notes in meetings as I felt a bit shy. Dean really helped me to speak up and he was  there for me. From that moment I knew that Dean had my back.

D: He fitted really well and everyone liked him. I liked him straight away. And I just knew me and him would be friends. He asked for my help but I think that was just Richard and confidence in himself which you would expect from anybody starting somewhere new.

R: I remember when we started to speak to my old manager about cricket, we had a laugh and lively banter about our different football teams.  I also remember in a Mencap photoshoot, Dean and I were mucking about. We love to wind each other up and have a laugh. My partner calls us “Men Behaving Badly!”

D: Richard was a different person on his first day, but the values he stands for still remain the same. He shares the values that we all share today around kindness, and inclusion. Richard’s first day I kept on thinking back to my first day. I was a young man then… I'm still young now, ha ha! But I’m now older and wiser, as is Richard.

R: Dean has helped me through some really hard times in personal life and he has always been there through the tough and the good times, and I have been there for him too. It makes me really happy to have Dean’s friendship.

D: Richard and I have both come a long, long way and supported each other through the many good times and some tough times. We have many good memories to share. But the thing I like best about Richard is his passion of people and people’s rights. He doesn't like bullies and he doesn't like people being left out and he makes the effort. He always goes out of his way for anyone and everyone. especially the people he cares about most. 

Trust and kindness

R: We are always in touch on video calls and visiting each other. We talk about personal things, I trust Dean totally and we can talk to each other about anything.  It’s important for people with a learning disability to have someone to trust and someone that sees you for who you are, not just a person with a learning disability.

D: The kindness Richard has always had will always remain. But the difference is he has lived through some very tough times. he knows how it feels with certain things that have happened, and he uses those experiences to help others as he doesn't want them experiencing the same pain that he's been through. It's a wonderful quality to have and Richard has many qualities that he learnt through hard work and dedication.

R: We started as colleagues and we have now become the best of friends in the last 16 years. We are like brothers. If Ant and Dec can do it, me and Dean can do it too!

D: People have respect for him not because of things he's been through, but because of the kindness he always has shown to others and he always puts other people first. Even when he's having the most difficult days himself. He still makes time but others. He's more than just a friend to me. He's my brother and a true friend.