Interrelationalness

Interrelationalness is a big word, but it often gets me thinking about "behaving well". When I asked our AI co-workers via a prompt to define interrelationalness, it gave me more, but specifically this about interpersonal relationships:

Interpersonal Relationships: This aspect focuses on the connections and dynamics between individuals. Interrelationalness in interpersonal relationships encompasses factors such as communication, trust, empathy, and mutual understanding.

And I got to thinking about people who are perhaps more irregular contacts of yours and those who are more regular, all having attributes and features that make up the interrelationalness you have with other people.

There have been some very welcome, uplifting experiences this week, which got me thinking about regularity and irregularity, which don't always equate to the trust, empathy, and mutual understanding mentioned by our bot friend in the above definition. This week, I've shared time with people I've not spoken with in months. And yet, there was an Interrelationalness to the dialogue that hit me (nicely) and really got me thinking.

It all felt a bit like something I could only define as "behaving well," and it gave me an analytical urge about things that interrelationality requires.

Congruence - do you believe in the person and, more so, what they stand for? How they are with it and stick to it even when it gets tough. If you're unsure of the person's intent, what they stand for helps you "get them", and we should let people know what is most meaningful to us. We can all see more of who you are when you describe that.

Consistency - that doesn't mean frequency or even intensity, but it can find itself in reciprocity and initiation. We've all known people we seem to lose touch with. And we've all tried to instigate with them, and nothing. Sometimes, you have to let those go because they're being consistently distant. But if three months go by with no contact, you share three minutes of consistently active and appreciative exchanges; it can last for three more months until the next three minutes. We don't have to be in each others' pockets, but infrequency can be a consistent thing as long as the contact points are equally consistent and affirming.

Encouragement—I think some people confuse this with being nice. You can see the flaws in people, their apparent lacking confidence, and the untapped potential they don't let out. You can be their stimulator and show genuine belief. But it's somewhat missing the point if they just think you are just being nice and caring. It is hard to maintain encouragement in others if they simply see it as strokes and fail to shift their presence and approaches and do something with that encouragement.

Interest—It's easier to show interest in people when they are open. People are more interesting when they share what matters to them, what's of real merit in their lives, or what's confusing or troubling them. And it's not oversharing or exposing a vulnerability. But it's nigh on impossible to show interest in people if they hide, close down, and divert attention from their true "goings on." Back to instigation and reciprocity. If you're always the initiator and you go quiet, it might be a test of the person who is often "initiated with" being emotionally aware enough to switch roles. That shows interest rather than prompted compliance. Low/no interest in return becomes a stalemate, and sadly, any interest in each other dissipates and disappears.

Appreciation - you can bestow positive feedback and show recognition of people's effort, dedication, and stamina. You can use it as an incremental urging sensation. But if it's tough to be genuine with it, fake appreciation is a double-down confusing thing. This is perhaps where people talk about toxic positivity. In order to truly appreciate people, give them real, tangible examples of it. It's easier to take when it's articulated like this and more difficult to shrug off if you're overly humble when presented with genuine intent and a strong evidenced story of what you did or said that deserved the appreciation.

So, I concluded that interrelationalness is all about those elements and linking to intention, manifestation and expression. And what the bot said: trust, empathy, and mutual understanding.

That's been this week for me: Intentional, expressive manifestations of good people in a range of circumstances, being who they are and being with this sense of interrelationalness.

For all those who've spent time with me this week, you've made it a terrific one. So thank you, and I'm appreciative of how you have been with me this week - whatever the normalcy/frequency of our contact. You showed me who you are, and that meant a lot to me.