Investing in Self

Many a time, I get asked: "Who is your inspiration?" or "Who is your role model?". Well, there are many. If I had to pick only one person, it would be my mother.

During my upbringing, she instilled some strong grounding that it became a part of who I am, as a person. She did not always state the "how", but she was clear on the "what". How & how-not were assimilated through her actions. As for example, she would set expectations to excel in academics, to try things even if you didn't know anything about it, to be a graduate, to establish as financially independent individual & so on. Her only goal was to see us graduating & becoming financially independent - and for this she left no stone unturned.

My mother hailed from a village in the outskirts of Bangalore. Access to education in the 1950s/60s was limited. Yet, with available resources, she completed her 10th grade with distinction. To continue after 10th, meant she had to move to city which had access to colleges. Very obviously, that was not allowed mainly due to two reasons:

1. Girl child living away from home in somebody's home - a BIG no!

2. Financially, they couldn't afford it.

So, she spent her time learning sewing, tailoring, embroidery, knitting, basket making and many other handicrafts. By word of mouth, she came across job vacancies in Bangalore for anyone who had passed 10th standard. She applied and waited to hear, but it took 3 years to get an invitation to join the training programme, which eventually materialized as a full-time job (after evaluation of performance in training). She fought the odds and came to Bangalore to grab the opportunity. She joined Bharat Electronics Limited in 1970 & served for 32 years (with about 8 years left for retirement). She was the first in her family to break the glass ceiling. As for the handicrafts she had learnt, she used it in the form of personalizing our home (be it curtains/pillow covers/tablecloth), stitching our uniforms & cloths, feeding us with delicious food, recycling waste.

The assimilation of How's: Growing up, I didn't really know what it took to do that & I never saw it as "wow" because she made it seem very normal to work 16 hours a day both at work & at home. It was only in my late teens that I began to realize what a phenomenal woman she was.

1. She would write letters (formal/informal) & talk in English, where needed (though she was from Kannada medium), with confidence/ seeking help from well learnt. It's alright to not know it all. Have the courage to accept & seek help.
2. She never had anyone in her family to turn to for advice or an outside mentor to guide her and make the hard things easier for her. She had few good colleagues who were also women of strength and determination. They influenced each other in a positive way. It's important to be surrounded by positive influences who will lift you up even when you want to give up. She never let dominance get in her way or saw social factors as a deterrent.
3. She was as raw as it could be. Never sugar-coated. She was honest, to a fault. She got in trouble for being blunt. In later years, I saw how she reserved the pearls for those who deserved them. I saw the power of being free of other people's opinions of you, as long as you upheld truthfulness.
4. She had to work 6 days a week, yet she attended every family event, even if it was in her factory uniform. Her uniform & thus her work was her badge of honour. From an outsider's perspective, she may have seemed to have it all. However, as her daughter, I believe she achieved it all with great perseverance & resilience.
5. She never shunned me when I was rebellious about many things. She demanded reason over prejudice. She let us err & pay heavy prices for mistakes that were rightly due. Through it all, she made sure that the safety net she held so tightly did not fall.

There are many more. In all of this, the biggest takeaway for me is this: Investing in yourself is not selfish. By doing so, not only are you helping yourself, but you are also building the confidence to help many others. In today's context, while many of us are blessed with people who invest in us, we have a responsibility to pay it forward. That's how you accelerate progress.