Inward is the way forward: A letter to my younger self.
Introspection by definition means self-examination. It's the ability to deeply analyze and learn about oneself, through a lens of genuine curiosity. It includes identifying our personality type(s), understanding the relationship between our thoughts and actions, and considering what outside influences motivate us to keep moving forward every day. I believe that introspection is a vital skill that every individual should develop, because it can help us distinguish between where we are currently, and where we wish to be in the near future.
Another fascinating outcome that introspection might provide you is a flashing replay of all the significant moments in your life. Those kinds of moments that might have played a special role in shaping and molding you into the person that you’ve become today. Reflecting back on my childhood, I wish I could tell younger Sean, aka me from about 30 years ago, about the significance of change. Because if we don't change on a foundational level we can't expect different outcomes.
This is why I thought I'd write a letter to my younger self, hoping that some young (or older) person could walk away having learned a few lessons from my past experiences, mistakes, insights, and this newfound wisdom.
To change the outcome of your days, you need to escape the rut of 'rinse and repeat'.
You wake up, check your phone, scroll through facebook and instagram, put on your slippers, and make your morning coffee. Then you maybe hop into the shower, brush your teeth, get on a couple of Zoom meetings, and get annoyed by that same colleague again. You workout, log-off, have dinner, only to repeat the same monotonous daily routine again.
There's a level of comfort that comes from putting our lives on auto-pilot. But when you are unchallenged and perhaps even bored, you’re allowing your body to age faster. Our bodies are a protein making machine. The less you focus on challenging your genes, the more diluted they become and by letting yourself give in to the rut, you’re essentially just allowing your body to become a fax of a fax of a fax. A worn-out and exhausted version of its original self.
In the last three years, I came across something that shifted in me and moved the major foundations of my being. Through the works of individuals like Abraham Hicks, Joe Dispenza, and Tony Robbins, I was able to tap into my inner potential and harness the strengths that, as a matter of fact, lie within all of us.
The ability to change your life experiences and outcomes lies within you.
When I think of the time I had started my career as a Chartered Accountant, some 30 years ago, I think of a younger me. With the discipline of boarding school a path was laid out for me which led me to attend university to study Commerce. I got my first job at KPMG in London, and my mother was the most excited and proud. Even though being a Chartered Account in the late '80s was considered a hot job, I could barely get myself to enjoy it.
So, by nature, I started seeking new experiences.
In hindsight, it was this search for new experiences that continuously opened new doors and opportunities for me. What lay behind me were years of people telling me what I must do to be successful, instead of me asking myself where I wished to see myself in the future. And when I finally did reflect and ask myself that question, the answer became clear. I needed to switch some things around.
While I was still at KPMG, the whole idea of forensic audits, using a computer was fascinating to me. I was so drawn to it in fact, that I went deep into studying technology and became a self-taught engineer. Then somehow, an opportunity came one day to move to the US!
And before I knew it, I had spent time running technology at Oracle, DreamWorks Animation, and Madison Square Garden, and today you can find me running and advising startups in the FinTech and PropTech spaces.
If your personality determines your approach towards life, and by extension the path it takes, what could some personality shifting bring about?
This is a thought I catch myself coming back to often. There's no doubt that I have adapted my personality to the different countries and different lives I have lived. And I couldn't have made changes to the nature of my experiences, or my life, had I not made changes to my personality.
'Personality' includes behavioral characteristics, both inherent and acquired, that distinguish one person from another. And it can be observed in people’s relations to the environment and to the social group. Thus, I believe it's fair to say that we can't change life itself, without making certain changes to our personality.
One of the two most significant accomplishments in my life has been discovering the art of slowing down, practicing mindfulness, and valuing my time more. Spending the last three years exploring the inner depths of my mind, has been instrumental in my spiritual, emotional, and intellectual growth. And I often wonder how things would've unfolded, had I come to this realization at a younger age.
The second most significant accomplishment for me was attending boarding school. Quite literally, it provided me with the self-discipline necessary to thrive in competitive job markets. But more importantly, it taught me how to look out for myself, and take care of myself.
The desire for a certain career and life is great, but what's greater is inculcating the belief that you're capable of creating the life you want.
I believe, early on, all of us are self-conscious and insecure. We worry way too much about saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, spend hours fixated on our physical appearance, question if we sound smart enough, always sell ourselves short, and often give in to the false narratives we've created in our minds.
But if I were to let you in on a secret, I'd tell you that most of the things we spend hours obsessing over, no one even bothers to notice. This realization led to many other very important realizations in my adult life. I can now confidently say that I am really good at strategizing, mentoring, advising, and counseling people.
If I were to leave you with anything, I'd say that by nature, I avoided introspecting for much of my life. But looking inwards has been the true antecedent in my journey towards getting to know myself better, and acquainting myself with the powers that lie within me.
Believing in ourselves is something we’re all taught from a young age but what isn’t taught to us is that the belief in ourselves comes from cultivating the power of introspection and self-improvement. There will be many variables in life you can’t control. But the one that you can control happens to be the only one that truly matters. Your thoughts.
Inculcating the ability to detach yourself from your past, your thoughts and the notions you hold close to your heart, allow you to restructure your future.
Once you’ve come to realize the false narratives in our heads have negligible power over us, and that inward is the way forward, the journey towards creating the life you want and rediscovering yourself, and tapping into your inner potential will be a whole lot easier.
Managing Director @ Castle Placement | Investment Banking | Private Equity/Debt Capital | M&A | Capital Raising
8moVery well articulated. Today I found myself journaling about this exact topic. Did a google search to find content that aligns with my thinking and landed here. Thank you for sharing.
Carry on with kindness!
3ySean, this really resonates with where I am in my life. The pandemic has shown me that autopilot happens when I choose not to engage with curiosity and wonder. It has reminded me that going outside at least once to day to breathe fresh air can open my mind in ways that don't happen when I am cooped up inside. And it took me several months to really embrace the cold mornings and time for myself. I am still a curious being who is always looking for opportunities that will widen my horizons, and help me to grow - and I've grown into the place of accepting myself as that person, regardless of the opinion of others who are sure I should continue on auto-pilot because it feels good to them. If they want to plant themselves for 20+ years in one place and become and oak tree - go ahead. For me, I'll continue to plant myself, grow into a place where I am comfortable, then find a new home and continue to grow in a different direction. The world needs both. Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts on your journey and the lessons learned thus far. I look forward to reading more in the future. All the best to you and your family.
Carrier Practice Sales Vice President | Past Global CPCU Society President | Industry Podcast Host | Columbia University Graduate Student
3yThanks Sean. I enjoyed reading your perspective here. Well done.
Digital Consultant | Founder & Board Member at ASEDI
3yHi Sean O'Donoghue great reading. It caught my attention the "There's a level of comfort that comes from putting our lives on auto-pilot." which is what I call the comfort zone where many of us stay because of a terrible fear of change. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Global Executive Specializing in the Integration of Technology and Business | M&A Transactions I CFO
3yThanks for sharing these insights!