Isolation and Loneliness in Executive Leadership: The Struggles of Gay Latino Men and the Power of Community

Introduction

Leadership can be a lonely journey, but for gay Latino men in executive positions, the path often feels particularly isolating. Despite progress toward LGBTQ+ rights and racial equality, the intersectionality of being both a gay and Latino man in leadership brings unique challenges. The pressure to meet cultural expectations, combat stereotypes, and overcome bias, both within and outside their communities, contributes to a sense of isolation that can lead to increased mental health risks.

As someone who spent 20+ years working in nonprofit leadership and fundraising, often serving my own communities, I still didn’t feel like I quite fit in. Even in spaces where I should have belonged, there were constant reminders that I didn’t. I was “too gay for the Latinos” and “too Latino for the gays,” a phrase that replayed in my head during countless meetings, even when sitting across from donors. I’d wonder, What if I’m too gay for them?

This feeling of not truly fitting into any space led to a persistent sense of loneliness. Unfortunately, at the time, there were no support groups or cohorts where I could vent about this—no community that truly understood the intersectionality of my experience, or none that I could find at the time.

September is Suicide Prevention Month: Mental Health in the LGBTQ+ Community

A Critical Issue

As we observe Suicide Prevention Month in September, it’s important to acknowledge the heightened risks faced by members of the LGBTQ+ community, especially those who are also people of color. According to The Trevor Project, 45% of LGBTQ+ youth seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year. This number is even higher among LGBTQ+ people of color, who often face compounded experiences of marginalization, discrimination, and isolation. For gay Latino men in executive leadership roles, the pressures of both professional life and identity can feel overwhelming, leading to mental health struggles that too often go unaddressed.

The isolation many of us feel as gay Latino men—being "too gay for the Latinos and too Latino for the gays"—is not just an emotional experience; it has real and sometimes devastating mental health consequences. When combined with the challenges of leadership, the risk of burnout, anxiety, depression, and even suicidal ideation increases significantly. This is why building supportive communities is not just beneficial—it is crucial for survival and well-being.

If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide or mental health challenges, I encourage you to reach out to The Trevor Project, a life-saving resource for LGBTQ+ individuals. Their 24/7 crisis intervention services can provide the support needed in moments of isolation and hopelessness.

Trevor Project Lifeline: Call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678-678.

The Isolation of Gay Latino Executives

Underrepresentation and Loneliness

Gay Latino men are significantly underrepresented in leadership positions across industries. Research shows that the lack of representation in executive leadership heightens feelings of loneliness and marginalization. According to a report by the Center for Talent Innovation, LGBTQ+ professionals, especially people of color, often feel the need to “cover” their identities at work, concealing key aspects of who they are to fit in with predominantly white, cisgender, heterosexual executive circles. This concealment leads to a dissonance between one’s personal and professional identities, resulting in emotional fatigue and isolation. The non-stop code-switching.

In my experience, it wasn’t just about covering—it was about constantly questioning how much of myself I could reveal. As a gay Latino man in nonprofit fundraising, I’d walk into donor meetings not only focused on representing my organization but also questioning my own identity. I wondered if being authentically me would make donors uncomfortable. The disconnection between my work and personal self became exhausting. And at white-led organizations I would be concerned with not sounding too Latino, because inevitably I would get the "you don't have an accent" follow-up remark. This is coming from a lighter skinned, more masculine presenting gay man.

Cultural Expectations and Bias

Gay Latino men also navigate the expectations of machismo in many Latino cultures, which emphasize traditional gender roles and heterosexuality. This societal pressure, combined with the underrepresentation of Latinos in leadership roles, creates an additional layer of isolation. The tension between proving one’s professional worth in predominantly white spaces and reconciling cultural norms from Latino communities can lead to a sense of not truly belonging anywhere.

The compounded nature of racism, homophobia, and cultural expectations can create a "double closet," where Latino gay men feel silenced about both their racial and sexual identities in leadership. This intensifies the experience of loneliness, often manifesting as a lack of authentic connection with peers or colleagues, which is a major factor contributing to mental health struggles.

Mental Health and Seeking Support

Awareness and Growth through Mental Health Services

At the height of COVID-19, like many others in my millennial generation, I sought out mental health services to navigate the increasing pressure and isolation. It was during this time that I was diagnosed with ADHD, which brought a wave of awareness. That diagnosis helped me understand so much about myself, my leadership style, and my struggles with focus and emotional regulation.

This period of self-awareness gave me the courage to step away from spaces where I didn’t feel I belonged and create my own. I ventured into starting my company, Noris Knows LLC, as a way to bring more of my authentic self into my work and, most importantly, to create the types of spaces I had long searched for—spaces for Latino executives and emerging leaders to come together, share, and support one another.

Empowering Through Community: A New Vision for Leadership

To address the sense of isolation and the challenges of living fragmented lives, I knew that a supportive community was essential for personal and professional growth. One of the core goals of the Queer Compass' Executive Leadership Cohort is to help participants elevate their executive presence by fostering an environment where they empower one another and build lasting confidence. Through this journey, leaders realign with their core values and beliefs, allowing them to shed the burden of living “double lives.”

This cohort is more than just professional development—it’s about creating a space where authenticity is celebrated and leaders can feel safe embracing their full selves. By building a strong community dedicated to both personal and professional growth, participants will gain the support they need to thrive, not just as executives but as whole, authentic individuals.

Building Supportive Networks and Moving Forward

1. Build an Authentic Professional Network

One of the most effective ways to combat isolation is by building an authentic professional network of like-minded individuals. This network should include other LGBTQ+ professionals and allies who can offer emotional support and professional guidance. By fostering relationships with others who share similar challenges and experiences, gay Latino men can feel a sense of belonging that counteracts feelings of isolation.

Initiatives like the Out & Equal workplace advocacy group, which focuses on LGBTQ+ inclusivity, offer networking opportunities and peer support. Finding or creating spaces where intersectional identities are celebrated, not just tolerated, is essential for building a network that offers both personal and professional support.

2. Seek Mentorship and Sponsorship

Mentorship and sponsorship are vital for overcoming isolation in leadership. For gay Latino men, it is crucial to find mentors who understand both their cultural background and LGBTQ+ identity. These mentors can provide insights, strategies for navigating the workplace, and emotional support. Furthermore, having a sponsor who actively advocates for your professional advancement can help open doors that may otherwise remain closed.

The Latino Leadership Institute has emphasized the importance of mentorship for Latino executives, noting that mentors who share lived experiences can provide crucial emotional and professional validation.

3. Invest in Personal Development Programs

Gay Latino men should consider participating in leadership and development programs that focus on LGBTQ+ executives. These programs provide a safe space to address both the professional and personal challenges unique to their identity. Engaging in leadership cohorts allows for a shared experience, which can be empowering and reduce feelings of isolation.

Call to Action: Join the Queer Compass’ Executive Leadership Cohort

To address these challenges, I am launching the inaugural Queer Compass' Executive Leadership Cohort—a program designed specifically for Latino gay, bisexual, and queer men in leadership. This cohort will provide the space to connect with like-minded executives, share experiences, and build strategies to combat isolation and thrive both personally and professionally. With access to peer support, mentorship, and thought leadership from top Latino LGBTQ+ professionals, this program offers the community and resources needed to build a resilient, thriving network.

Don’t walk this journey alone—join us and become part of a supportive, empowered community. Together, we can redefine what it means to be a gay Latino leader.

Join the inaugural Queer Compass' Executive Leadership Cohort today.

--What are your thoughts?

References:

1. Center for Talent Innovation. (2021). LGBTQ+ professionals in the workplace: The struggle for representation and authenticity.
2. Latino Leadership Institute.
3. The Trevor Project. (2023). LGBTQ+ mental health and suicide prevention: Annual national survey.
4. American Journal of Public Health. (2020). LGBTQ+ mental health disparities: Race, ethnicity, and sexual orientation.