It's all a journey...

I am a person of many ANDs... changemaker, nerd, childless cat lady, friend, disabled , partner, businesswoman, neurospicy, hilarious (if I say so myself!), queer, book hoarder, coach, writer, trauma survivor... it's an endless list.

My journey to recognising these ands has been anything but simple though. Like many changemakers out there, I did not grow up wanting to change the world. I wanted to be a vet, a dancer, an author; to help people and mostly, to have a lovely house full of books and cats. Then, life happened to me.

I never thought that at 30, I would have to restart my adult life. The realisation that I was in a long-term abusive relationship had slowly dawned on me, but once I let myself see it, it couldn't be unseen. Some people enter their 30s with new jobs, new babies, new dreams and new drives. I entered them with a divorce, a standing appointment at my local womens' aid and a pokey flat just large enough for me and my cat.

Recovery was messy. It looked like unlearning everything I thought I knew about relationships, and about myself. It was confronting the things I had been taught made me bad or shameful, and learning how to be at peace with them- loving them would come much later. It was learning how to manage my own money, restart a household, manage my disabilities as a single person.

It was also the realisation that my career as a Speech Therapist - whilst great in many ways - wasn't as comfortable a fit as it once was. Because along that stage of my journey, I discovered a drive towards leaving a legacy. I wanted to make things better for the generations to come, ensuring that no one else would have to experience the same things that I did.

Trauma -> Changemaker?

I initially trained as a coach to support other survivors of domestic violence – work that I remain passionate about – but quickly noticed that many survivors of trauma or challenging experiences experience a similar call towards change making. I realised that I could best use my skills to support all of the people making change out there - amplify the ripples of change rather than being the pebble that starts them.

David Kessler describes the sixth stage of grief as finding meaning: turning loss into something “more”. It's one expression of post-traumatic growth - becoming more or different along the journey to healing. While Kessler came to this sixth stage through a bereavement, I believe that this can be applied to our personal experiences as well. When we learn to process past experiences with more love than pain, we can move forward in a way that honours our past selves and truly can shake the foundations of the status quo.

If you're reading this newsletter, you've no doubt felt the call to leave this world a better place through the work you do. I wonder how many of you were also brought to this path because of your personal experiences, or those of someone you loved dearly?

The road doesn't end there...

Here's the thing, though. For some people, the recovery phase ends when we have established some form of stability. We're free, we've educated ourselves, we're functioning humans and we've found a new mission. Job done.

Welllllll...

In my experience, job not-quite done.

For example, part of my changemaking mission involves me speaking up. This newsletter is a prime example of that - I can't do the work I do if no one knows about what I do! But when I began my business, I was carrying around a whole sackful of experiences that added up to one rule: keep a low profile.

It meant I was running a very specific, repetitive pattern in my life. I would gear myself up, do something brave and speak out, then have an inflammatory response that would trigger my lupus to flare and I would be exhausted and unable to function for a few weeks. I'd rest, recover, gear myself up for the next brave thing and the pattern repeated.

Now, not everyone is lucky (ha) enough to have antibodies for their own DNA to make their patterns as explicit as this. But I would bet a fair amount of my treasured possessions that you could probably spot some other unhealthy or unhelpful pattern repeating in your life, and with a little digging we'd trace it back to some trauma. It's a radical notion, but I'm going to state it boldly - functional is not a worthy goal.

We deserve more than functional. There's this myth that floats around that to make change, we accept a life of "less". Have you ever said "well, I'm not in this job for the money"? Have you ever accepted that really flippin' exhausted at the end of the day/week/month is just how it's "supposed to be"? Have you given up your free time, your hobbies, your interests, time with your loved ones, bedtime stories with the kids - the things that make life delicious - to do that one thing for work that "just cant wait"?

Of course you have.

A new roadmap

If you've been here a while, you'll know that I love the word audacious - it's baked right into my brand. For me, audacity shouldn't be the word for people doing things so shockingly self-entitled that it borders on harmful for others. Audacity is a beautiful thing - it's the courage to strike a new path and do things on your terms, without being swayed by shoulds and ought tos and the rules we've been taught.

That's the next stage of the journey that is self development, and it's one I believe that everyone who wants to leave a legacy needs to master.

It's doing things the way that works best for you.

It's flourishing AND making an impact.

It's having the balls (metaphorical or otherwise) to say no when you need to AND yes to only what lights you up or serves your goals.

It's developing your skills AND celebrating your strengths.

It's creating your own roadmap for your journey.

It's vast and scary and enticing and more than a little bit magic.

Where are you on your journey to audacity?

But Anna, HOW DO I DO IT?

If you're feeling quite happy with your audacity, feel free to stop reading here and come back next week. But if you'd like a boost, here's a little proposal for you...

In a few weeks time, I'm running my next cohort of Audacious Legacy. Over ten weeks, we’ll cover the tools and route markers you need to make the journey into the future with lightness and ease. Each week, you’ll receive guided reflective content and a 90 minute group coaching session focusing on a different aspect of the process.

To take the learning even deeper, you’ll get three 1:1 coaching sessions with me - one at the start to help you plot your way; one in the middle to overcome any hurdles you’ve noticed; and one at the end to embed the learning and truly carry the embodied changes into the future.

By the end of the ten weeks, you’ll be moving with dynamic energy and an audacious belief that YES, you can take your work to a new level... maybe even something you never thought you’d be able to achieve… taking the leap into your audacious legacy.

This is what one of the previous participants has to tell you: "The content is insightful and thought provoking but more importantly the debate and conversation it creates is inspiring. Don't hesitate, jump into Anna's world and see your mission, yourself and your impact in a whole new positive way."

If you're interested, it all starts with one DM.