It's Time to Shut the Front Door on That!

I am sure we can all admit that we give ourselves to or engage habits, practices and even nuances that bring very little to no value to our lives. On the flipside, we do not do a good enough job engaging or practicing those things that are of importance, or should at least carry more weight. Why? I am not quite sure. We could chalk it up simply to human behavior, but where does that leave us when our lives do not follow a meaningful trajectory or take us to our ideal destination?

May is "Mental Health Awareness Month." That's cool. We all know that, but what exactly does this all mean for you at a fundamental level? I'd venture to suggest that it could represent the starting point for pause and deeper introspection concerning the state of affairs of what is your life. An exercise that is not limited to a mere 31 days but what could and even should become a way of being.

There are many things happening around us, most of which we have little control over, such as inflation, rising consumer prices, a war in Ukraine, even the potential resurgence of the Covid-19 pandemic (God forbid!). We have been trained to do the best we can under the circumstances and hope for positive outcomes. What I am more interested in at this time, however, are those areas of our lives where we do have significant influence and, whatever the reason, we have abdicated or ceded control of, or we have simply opted not to leverage in our favor.

This past week for instance, an infamous social media influencer passed away. I was aware of this individual and his stance on social issues centering relationships. What I was not aware of was the extent of his reach and how much his words had managed to creep into the deep recesses of the minds of both men and women, particularly within communities of color.

For days my Facebook timeline was flooded with sentiments that expressed both reverence for on the one hand and immense hatred towards said individual, on the other. All the while I was left wondering, "But why?" What exactly is it that could lend to listeners opening themselves up to another person's opinions to this degree, when this individual has absolutely no jurisdictional authority over their lives and whose words neither added value nor meaning to their persons? What would make these listeners leave themselves so vulnerable, so open to the possibility of being manipulated by another and is this an ideal way of living?

And I'm thinking in this "Mental Health Awareness Month," it is time to shut the front door on that!

If the words and actions of others are easy triggers to your mental and emotional stability, to your peace of mind, it is worthwhile taking a pause to reflect deeply on what this means for you and whether your current posture is sustainable. That it is, perhaps, time to address what might be lingering trauma from childhood or from a terrible break-up.

What about those of us who are so adept at putting the needs of others ahead of ours, even at the expense of our own well-being? We have even gone as far as dubbing ourselves "people-pleasers."

What about those of us who continue to diminish or erode our own boundaries for the sake of holding a relationship together that should have long been terminated?

What about those of us who refuse to give ourselves an opportunity to breathe, to take that well needed vacation, because the "hustle and grind" culture has dominated and skewed our thought paradigm for so long, so much so we equate rest with "laziness" and "being unproductive?"

What about those of us who want different regarding relationships but continually find ourselves dating the same person, except with a different face? We never seem to give ourselves sufficient time to recover from the last person for fear of being alone and we end up hurting ourselves over and over and over again. Trauma bonding comes to mind.

In this "Mental Health Awareness Month," you have an opportunity to shut the front door on that!

Mental health awareness goes beyond tending to issues involving stress, anxiety and depression. It means intentionally being and remaining aware of your own mental and emotional health and needs. It means routinely taking the opportunity to pause, assessing the state of your life, taking an honest inventory, and determining whether there are some things that need changing. It means being willing to take the necessary steps that will ensure that a year from now, your life is exactly where you want it to be, with you doing exactly what you want to do.

Engaging a therapist in a supportive, collaborative and non-judgmental environment can help with this process. If you are in need of said support, therapists with a diversity of specialization may be found via a number of directories; including Psychology Today, Therapy for Black Men and Therapy for Black Girls.

Georgia A. Bryce-Hutchinson is an accomplished Mental Health Consultant and Practitioner, who leverages an Environmental Engineering background to set the framework, language, and impact of coaching across corporate and one-on-one environments. She specializes in advising organizations and employees on mental health literacy, awareness and crisis intervention and devising preventative strategies to increase workforce productivity, engagement, and retention. Georgia has the ability to meet employees and people where they are in their lives, pivoting to support both the employee and the organization from an inside-out approach. Connect with Georgia at georgia@bfatpllc.com