I've Been Thinking... You Never Know

This essay originally appeared in The Sunday Paper, a free weekly newsletter to Inform and Inspire Your Heart & Mind. Subscribe today for more News & Views Above the Noise.

How are you doing? 

Let’s pause together this morning. Let's put our hands over our hearts, close our eyes, and breathe. Was the holiday a lot? Was it not enough? Did people come? Are they leaving now? Did you travel? Was it stressful? Did you Zoom? Was it weird? Was it surprisingly okay? Was it all of the above and more? 

Whatever it was, it’s behind you. You are here. We are here together. Let’s hold space for one another. The so-called holiday season is upon us and we are going to need each other. We are going to need each other to be kind. We are going to need each other to be understanding because things are going to be different.

I know you might be saying to yourself, “Here we go with different again. I don’t want any more different. I miss things the way they were.” I get it. I feel you. I understand. But as I wrote last week, we have to focus on the way things are now and the way they will be. You have to take care of yourself and prepare yourself.

For me, the holiday season always feels emotional. I now know this to be true, so I’ve learned to pace myself. If tears come when holiday music plays (and they often do), I let them. If images of holidays past grab at my heart (and they always do), I allow the emotions to flow through me. If an invitation comes to celebrate and I have to attend solo, I prepare myself. I talk to myself ahead of time. I reassure myself that riding solo has its benefits, as do loving relationships. (I mean who wouldn’t want to be the center of someone’s universe... see below in our Sunday Love column.)

I tell myself that everything has its season, and that I have everything within me to ride out whatever comes my way. The same is true for you. No matter where you find yourself. No matter your relationship status. When the music starts and/or stops, you will be okay. You are good enough. You have the strength within you to navigate today, tomorrow, and this season.

So today, rest in this knowing: Where you are is where you are meant to be. All of us have been changed by the pandemic in ways big and small. Our lives have been forever changed and our hearts have been asked to widen. Our hearts have stood witness to our neighbors' pain and to our own. They are calling upon us to live life differently. Each of us can make room for the difference that this season has brought. 

Honor the reflection in your mirror. Honor the road that has brought you here. Straighten your shoulders. Put on some music that you love. Allow yourself to feel what you feel. It’s okay. Move to the music. Let the tears flow. Let the smile come. Allow your heart to lead you in a new way. Be open. 

You’ve got this holiday season. You get to make it your own. After all, you made it to this moment. That took guts. It took resilience and strength, and it will take vulnerability to continue through it. I honor those qualities in myself and I honor them in you.

So look forward. You never know who or what’s around the river bend. That used to scare me, but now, it brings me hope. It makes me smile. You never know. That’s the truth about life. That’s what I tell myself.

So today, try knowing this: You are the ace in the card deck. Isn’t that amazing? The ace! This holiday season, your job is to act like it! You are right where you are supposed to be. 

Love,

Maria