Job Search & Mind-games

A friend lost her job. She was very anxious and called me. I had a very long conversation with her, just to realize that this is not the story of one individual, many of them searching for jobs in current market are going through the same. The supply demand balance seems to be off the cart or it appears so…My friend, she went on to express that her mind was still in a state of denial inspite being one of the best performers, her role was impacted in the current market situation. She was not sure what needs to be done next. On certain days, she had the full energy to search for new roles, browse the portals, network, talk to ex colleagues and bosses to get leads for opportunities. The next day, she just hates to continue her search, she feels like a failure and ends up binge watching movies or series, giving away her time.... an escape from reality, as she puts it, but feels very guilty at the end of such a day. She is worried that her career is losing its sheen, that her life is slowly on downward spiral and worries for the expenses that she needs to manage.

Mind games - the mind plays these games and it becomes a test of our strength to navigate through this phase…..Why?

From the time we have joined the work force, corporate or otherwise, we have given every bit of our hard work, time & soul to doing best what we could as an employee. We spent more than 12 hours at times with our colleagues and teams when in office. Over time, this became our identity. Why? because we started to include our job title in our introductions. We asked our peers, friends, siblings, cousins, neighbours, everybody – hi what do you do? Any answer other than “Hey , I work as “so – so” with “so-so”” was not acceptable or was considered inferior. Our job titles became our identity. The fancier the title, the bigger the ego it filled and bigger the social status we thought we were placed at.

Now, with job loss, with no title, no designation, we are lost about what or how we identify ourselves.All I am saying is, in this scenario, take one, may be 2 steps back at life.

Before being an Engineer / Associate Manager/ Consultant / Senior Architect / Snr Manager / Exec, you were someone, the true you. The title came to you, because “you” were “you” first. So now, when you have come out of the title, why are you worried, don’t worry! Give yourself time and accept that things will take time, but they will work out to your favour for sure.

During the job search phase, during the interview phases, it is very important that you are focused and positive. A loss of focus causes the brain and the mind to wander. To have scattered thoughts, means poor decision making. It also leads to poor interpretation of interview questions and hence the not so impressive interview outcome.

An unfocused mind also is an anxious mind. This may lead to depreciated worth for self and self-confidence also dips….Hope seems bleak…..Depression may cave you in.

So, it is important to bear in mind that the job loss, job search period is just a phase and this shall pass too. If you don’t trust yourself, have faith in your abilities, then how will you convince the world that you are a good talent, that you are a warrior and nothing can put you down.

Here are some ways that may help ease your mind:

1. Pick up some hobbies – Music has proved very beneficial, so has painting, doodling, pottery, and even baking. There are many more and to each his own.
2. Pick up a new language – If you are a learner type, pick up a new language/ skill you always wanted to learn (any Indian Language, could be Sanskrit also, or foreign languages). The brain then has enough work to process and will be off self-talk that is not worth.
3. Complete that certification course – Now that you have time at hand, pick and choose the certifications that will help you further your career opportunities
4. Talk to friends and family – All the years, you were busy working, for yourself and your family, your support system, took a back seat. It's time to reconnect. Make calls, video calls and get that connection back…spend time with kids, learn their games, also about the new idea/story/lesson/dream he / she has been thinking about…
5. Gardening - If you have a green thumb, put it to good use. Anyways, we all worry about the quality of herbs, fruits, veggies that is available today not to mention the cost. So why not try your hand at a small garden, flowers etc. Plants will bring in butterflies, add colour to your terrace, balcony etc and also relax you. A good organic garden in your terrace is a great asset. Gardening also relaxes the minds to a great extent.
6. Daydream – An anxious mind needs to be calm. You become calm, when you let memories, inner chatter flow through your head freely, acknowledge them and let go. Sit in a calm place and let you mind be free. Indulge in some day dreaming, positive dreaming, aspirations, as that will make your heart and mind lift up from the current reality. It will be at a higher frequency and hence at a positive level. Allow yourself 15 – 20 mins everyday of this calmness. Meditation can also be attempted if you are interested to explore that
7. Read – Read books, fiction, non-fiction, self-help, poetry, history, literature, whatever you like. Somewhere being in a world created by books, lies the abode of calm and peace
8. Exercise – if you are not into books, looking inwards etc, then exercise can be of great help. This not only takes your head off current reality for few minutes, but also keeps you in good shape. Exercises are also known to clear mind clutter and prevent negative self talk.
9. Watch what you say to yourself – Power of manifestation cannot be undermined. Many great teachers have spoken about it, so watch what you say to yourself. Don’t get into the cyclic negative talk. Instead, either you acknowledge your fears when they present themselves, make peace with your past, curb your self-victimization or you divert your mind with 5 new positive thought when 1 negative thought crosses by. The more negative talk, 5 times more you have to talk good about yourself to you.

Remember, this passing phase of job search / interviews is very crucial. For you to succeed, you need to be your own hero. Don’t let your mind be your enemy that pulled you down 10 times deeper, than a negative interview result.

Be intentional, in every action & word you say to yourself. Be responsible for yourself.

Hope these few tips will open some doors for you to stay positive and continue your job search effectively. Wishing you all the success ahead…

Like, Comment and share your tips for positively focusing on job search.