Journeys Through Healing: Emotional Resilience – Alexandra’s Journey Through the Ups and Downs of Recovery

When I first met Alexandra, it wasn’t just her body that was struggling. Her emotional world had been flipped upside down by her two strokes, and the weight of it all was almost too much to bear. Recovery isn’t just physical. It’s a deeply emotional process that affects every part of your being, and for Alexandra, this emotional weight was just as heavy—if not heavier—than the physical limitations.

The stroke had paralyzed the left side of her body, but it was the emotional paralysis that truly left her feeling stuck. Despite being the Head of Talent Management and DEI at a Fortune 500 company, a loving mother of two grown children, and someone who had always been high-functioning, she now found herself grappling with feelings of helplessness, grief, and anger.

The Emotional Impact of Setbacks

One of the hardest moments came when Alexandra faced her first major setback during recovery. After months of hard work and progress, she had a minor second stroke when she stopped taking her medication. The emotional impact of this was devastating.

"I thought I was doing better, I thought I was getting stronger," she told me in one of our sessions. "But now, I feel like I’m back to square one."

These feelings of being pulled backward after so much forward motion are common in any recovery journey, but they hit Alexandra particularly hard. She felt frustrated and angry at her body for failing her. She felt guilty for being a burden to her husband and children. And she was grieving the loss of the life she used to have.

I could see the exhaustion in her eyes. She wasn’t just tired physically—she was emotionally drained. The constant ups and downs of her recovery were wearing on her spirit, and she was at a point where giving up seemed like a tempting option.

Rebuilding Emotional Resilience

This was the turning point where we had to dig deeper—not just into her physical recovery, but into her emotional resilience. Alexandra needed to find a way to navigate the highs and lows without feeling so defeated every time things didn’t go as planned.

We started with something simple but powerful: acknowledging her feelings. One of the first things I told Alexandra was, "It’s okay to feel frustrated. It’s okay to feel sad. It’s okay to grieve for what’s been lost. But don’t let those feelings define you."

In that moment, I saw a shift. For the first time, she allowed herself to stop pretending she was okay. She gave herself permission to feel the anger, the grief, and the sadness. And from that moment on, we worked together to rebuild her emotional resilience—one step at a time.

Breathwork as Emotional and Nervous System Regulation

One of the most effective tools we introduced into Alexandra’s emotional healing was breathwork. But it wasn’t just about calming her mind—it was about guiding her body back into a parasympathetic state, where recovery could truly take place.

You see, after a trauma like a stroke, the body can get stuck in a state of stress, the sympathetic "fight or flight" mode. This is where Alexandra had been for months—her body and mind constantly on high alert, trying to cope with the emotional and physical toll of her recovery. What she needed was not more pushing or more stress. She needed her nervous system to move into the parasympathetic state—the state of "rest and digest," where the body is allowed to heal, recover, and regenerate.

Through our breathwork, we focused on regulating her nervous system, helping her body shift from the sympathetic state to the parasympathetic state, where true healing could occur.

Breathwork to Calm the Nervous System

We started with simple, controlled breathing techniques designed to slow everything down. One of our go-to practices was box breathing: inhaling for four counts, holding for four counts, exhaling for four counts, and holding again. This rhythmic breathing pattern signals to the brain that the body is safe, allowing the nervous system to relax.

Each inhale was about drawing in new energy, new possibilities. Each exhale was a release—not just of breath, but of tension, stress, and the emotional weight she had been carrying.

I explained to Alexandra how different types of breath can trigger different responses in the body. Fast, shallow breathing—like we tend to do when we’re anxious or upset—signals danger to the brain. It keeps us in a heightened state of alertness, making it harder for the body to rest and recover. Deep, slow breathing, on the other hand, sends a message of safety. It tells the body that it’s okay to relax, to heal, to move into that parasympathetic state where recovery can happen.

We often added vocalised breathwork—where Alexandra would exhale with a sound, like a sigh or even a hum. This combination of breath and sound added another layer of release, helping her let go of not just the physical tension but the emotions that had built up inside her.

Breathwork for Emotional Release

The breathwork wasn’t just about regulating her nervous system—it also became a tool for emotional release. By focusing on her breath, Alexandra could connect with her emotions in a way that wasn’t overwhelming. It gave her a safe container to experience and release the feelings that had been bottled up for so long.

We introduced longer exhales, which are especially effective for emotional release and calming the body. When you exhale for longer than you inhale, it activates the vagus nerve, a critical component of the parasympathetic nervous system. This helps slow the heart rate, lower blood pressure, and ease the body into a state of rest.

This was particularly helpful when Alexandra felt anxious or overwhelmed by her recovery. “I feel like I can’t breathe,” she’d say during particularly hard days. But by focusing on the breath—drawing in air gently and releasing it with a long, slow exhale—she began to feel more in control, more grounded.

Over time, these practices became second nature to her. During moments when she felt her emotions rising—whether from frustration, fear, or sadness—she could turn to her breath. It was a tool she could always rely on to bring herself back to a state of calm, to regulate her emotions, and to allow her body the space to recover.

Creating Space for Grief

Recovery, especially after a traumatic event like a stroke, involves grief. You’re grieving the life you used to have, the things you used to be able to do, the person you used to be. Alexandra had been trying to avoid this grief, powering through with sheer willpower, hoping that if she just worked hard enough, it would go away.

But grief doesn’t work like that. It demands space.

In our sessions, we created space for that grief. We didn’t try to push it away or deny it. Instead, we made room for it. I guided Alexandra through meditations where she allowed herself to simply sit with her grief—to feel it fully without trying to change it or move past it too quickly.

We worked on compassionate witnessing, where I sat with her, holding space for her emotions without judgment, allowing her to feel whatever came up in the moment. Alexandra learned that it was okay to cry, okay to feel devastated, okay to mourn the things she had lost. And once she gave herself permission to grieve, something shifted. She felt lighter. We after week, the grief consumed her less and less; it became something she could carry, something that would heal with time.

Lessons for All of Us: Emotional and Nervous System Healing

Alexandra’s journey through emotional resilience is a reminder to all of us that healing is not just about physical recovery—it’s about emotional recovery, too. Here are a few lessons we can all take from her experience:

1. It’s Okay to Feel Everything: Don’t rush through your emotions or push them away. Acknowledge them. Feel them. Let them have their space. Emotions are a part of the healing process, and you don’t need to pretend you’re okay when you’re not.
2. Shift to the Parasympathetic State: Healing can only happen when your body is in the parasympathetic state—the state of rest and recovery. Use breathwork to calm your nervous system and give your body the space it needs to heal.
3. Control Your Exhale: Focus on longer exhales to activate the vagus nerve and bring your body into a state of calm. Whether you’re anxious, stressed, or overwhelmed, this technique can quickly help regulate your emotions.
4. Breathwork as Emotional Release: The breath can be a powerful tool for emotional healing. Use it to release the heaviness inside, to ground yourself when things feel overwhelming. You don’t need to have all the answers—sometimes, just a few deep breaths can help you process what you’re feeling.
5. Self-Kindness Is Essential: Recovery is not linear. There will be setbacks, and that’s okay. What matters is how you treat yourself when those setbacks happen. Be kind to yourself. Celebrate the small wins, and give yourself the grace to heal at your own pace.
6. Hope and Healing Are Linked: Just as Alexandra found hope in each exhale, remember that hope is a crucial part of healing. Even in the hardest moments, there is always an opportunity to take a deep breath, let go, and begin again.

Looking Forward: Alexandra’s Progress

Through breathwork, Alexandra didn’t just regain control of her emotions—she found a way to connect her mind and body in a deeply healing way. Her journey continues, but now, she moves through it with more hope, curiosity, and a greater sense of emotional strength. The breath has become her anchor, something she can return to in times of stress, fear, or uncertainty. And with each breath, she reminds herself that recovery isn’t a straight line—there are setbacks, challenges, and emotions to navigate—but with the right tools and mindset, healing is always possible.

About My Newsletter: Path to Wellness and Healing

Welcome to Path to Wellness and Healing, your guide to holistic wellness, healing practices, grief support, and emotional recovery. Each edition brings you real stories from my clients and my personal journey as a healer and therapist, offering tools and insights that you can apply in your own life. My hope is that these stories inspire you to embrace the highs and lows of healing, knowing that with the right support, you can always find your way forward.

About My Therapy Practice

In my therapy practice, I integrate a range of holistic healing methods to support clients through recovery from trauma, grief, and major life events. With a blend of mindfulness, breathwork, somatic movement, and emotional processing, I help individuals reconnect with their bodies, manage their emotional health, and rediscover their strength. My approach is deeply compassionate, tailored to each individual, and focused on creating lasting transformation. Whether you’re recovering from a physical event or seeking emotional healing, I’m here to guide you on your path to wellness. Get in touch at delphine@sa-phan.com to work with me.