𝓔𝔁𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓙𝓸𝔂 𝓸𝓯 𝓠𝓾𝓮𝓮𝓷 𝓐𝓻𝓪𝓶𝓪𝓢𝓱𝓸𝓫𝓱𝓪

" Am I happy with myself?"

This is a very simple question. You may ask yourself this question very often because you believe that your life is full of unhappiness. This was the same question that Vidyutprabha, the 12-year-old daughter of Agni Sharma, asked herself as she stood in the meadows grazing her cattle. It was a hot day, and she was really tired. Her mother died four years ago, and the burden of running the house fell on Vidyutprabha. She had tried to solve her mother's problem, but she failed. Asleep now under a shady tree, she thinks of the advice she gave her father.

"Father, I find it difficult to run the household alone. "Why don't you marry again?"

"It is a good idea, Vidyutprabha. I will do as you say."

But things don't often turn out as we expect them to. Agni Sharma's second wife was lazy and hated work, and after the birth of her daughter, the burden doubled on Vidyutprabha. Vidyutprabha was to blame herself, for she desired some leisure time and some happy moments for herself and had now lost what little she had left. As she woke up from under the tree, she heard the hissing sound of a cobra. She was terrified at the sight and wanted to run away, but amazingly, the snake spoke to her.

"Don't be afraid; I will not harm you."

"Some snake charmers are after me." "Please protect me." "Please hurry, they will be here any minute."

A common misconception is that high achievers, extroverts, humorous, or good-looking people are happy with themselves. In fact, the opposite is quite often true, and a "big personality" can be a mask for a lack of something for which they are trying to compensate. Having high external confidence or being successful in life can help raise inner happiness, but it is definitely not the whole story. So, the opposite is also true: people mistakenly think that underachievers, introverts, quiet people, shy people, and people who don't think they're attractive are unhappy with themselves. Many people spend much of their lives striving to lose weight, make money, or work harder in the hope that it will make them more valuable to others. However, being truly happy within yourself means you do not need anything from others or your outer world. It does not come from something you attract, accumulate, or can be given by another person. "Inner happiness" is a state of being that grows from inside your heart and mind. People who are genuinely happy with themselves are not waiting until they become slimmer, fitter, and richer, or until they get the right job or life partner, to become happy with themselves. In fact, all those factors may be "nice to have," but even if you acquire all of these things, after a while you will still feel that something is missing if you are not genuinely happy with yourself. So what does "happy inside" actually mean? When you are truly content with yourself, you will be at peace with your personality, body, work, relationships, and where you are right now. It means having a high level of self-esteem and not expecting something to change before being happy with yourself. This does not mean you stop growing, learning, or improving particular aspects of your life, but that, while you are working on your own development, you are still happy with the way you are at any given time.

It means knowing who they are inside and out, rather than just how society labels them. High self-esteem is also referred to as being self-assured, having self-worth, or having inner happiness. This leads to self acceptance and an internal sense of security.

Most likely, you are already aware of why self-esteem is so important but have experienced some stumbling blocks to creating your own inner happiness. A major key to creating inner happiness comes from knowing your purpose in life and doing the work you love. Another characteristic of confident people is that they are very happy in their occupations and have a meaningful vocation in life. They feel that they are on track with their "reason for being."

Vidyutprabha thought to herself that it might be a snake, but it needs her help, so she said the snake,

"Don't worry, my friend, they won't get you."

She hid the snake in her lap. When the snake charmers came, they looked for the snake everywhere, and then they found Vidyutprabha sitting under the tree.

"Have you seen the snake pass this way?"

"No, sir, even if they have passed, I wouldn't know." "I was fast asleep."

The snake charmers believed her and moved on in search of the snake. As the snake charmers left, she whispered to the snake to come out. But there was no snake! Vidyutprabha was shocked.

"Was it my imagination or my dream?"

"No, you were not dreaming, brave girl. Your courage and kindness are amazing. "You deserve a boon; ask for it!"

Vidyutprabha spoke,

"It was not a snake but a god in disguise!"

"O deva! If you wish to grant me a boon, please create a shady grove over the heads of my cattle. "They find the sun's rays unbearable."

The god was really moved by her appeal; it was such an unselfish one. She could have asked for money or led an easy life. Instead, she thought about her cattle. The next moment, Vidyutprabha found a shady grove above her head full of juicy fruits and fragrant flowers. The god spoke to her again,

" Here you are!" "Whenever you are out of your house, this grove will shelter you." "Never again will your cattle have to suffer the heat, and if you ever need me, you just have to think about me, and I will be there."

After saying these words, God vanished.

This small incident in the story tells us a lot about happiness. Anyone can be happy because it comes from the inside and isn't based on what's going on around them. Often, people think that if they come into a great deal of money through a windfall or a promotion, they will be happy, but money can’t buy enduring happiness. Nor do misfortunes such as disease necessarily cause long-term unhappiness. Situations outside of a person's control can make them temporarily happy or sad, but real happiness lasts through the ups and downs of life. It's normal to be happy about getting a new car or being complimented by others while also being worried about a problem. But people soon return to their baseline of happiness, or lack thereof. External circumstances can only be processed subjectively; they are not absolute. What may seem like a happy event to one person might seem meaningless or even terrible to another. Similarly, one’s outlook from one moment to the next depends on personal perspective. Anyone can be satisfied with what they have, no matter how little. Likewise, anyone can be unsatisfied with what they have, no matter how much. Often, people compare themselves to others who have more material possessions than they do, which can be a great source of dissatisfaction and envy. But people who compare themselves to those who have less can make themselves feel more fortunate by reflecting on the things they have. Comparing oneself to the right people is a matter of discipline. Whether an action is positive or negative isn’t connected to how happy it makes someone feel in the moment. Rather, its characteristics are linked to long-term outcomes: whether or not the action results in happiness. Many people conflate happiness and pleasure, which are not the same thing. Happiness is a more stable feeling than pleasure, which comes and goes from day to day.

As soon as the god vanished, Vidyutprabha began to taste the juicy fruits. She was happy that grazing the cattle would no longer be a tedious and tiring task. After a rest in the cool and delightful shade of the grove, the house chores would no longer be tiresome. With these pleasant thoughts, she fell fast asleep once more. While she was sleeping, the king of Patliputra (now Patna, Bihar, India.) came by with his retinue. As soon as the king was made comfortable, his men began to wander. Disturbed by the men, the cattle began to run. It was mid-day, and the commotion of the cattle made Vidyutprabha wake up with a start. She, too, ran behind the cattle, and with her, moved the grove. The king was startled.

"Hey!" "What's happening?" "

Your Majesty! It is that girl; she ran, and the grove ran away with her. "The cattle ran away when approached, so it must be hers."

"Stop her! Quick! " Ask her to come back. Tell her you'll find her cows."

The king's men brought Vidyutprabha to him.

"Is she an Apsara?" "Whoever she is, her place is in the palace, and certainly not among these cows."

"I agree, your majesty."

"Then go and tell her I want to make her my queen."

One of the king's men approached Vidutprabha and said,

"O wondrous maid, our king wishes to wed you. "Are you willing?"

Vidhutprabha replied,

"It would be proper if you spoke to my father, sir."

"Who is your father?" "Where can I find him?"

"We live in the first village that is outside this grove."

Since happiness is a mental state, it isn’t tied to material things beyond the basic human needs for shelter and sustenance. People tend to focus on money and success as tools to achieve happiness, but improving one’s state of mind is much more important. Finding happiness is, in many ways, a methodology of harm reduction. Negative, harmful, angry, or anxious thoughts can and should be limited as much as possible. At the same time, happy thoughts should be nourished so that they expand and grow. This method needs to be used with care, because it's not always clear at first which thoughts will make you happy or hurt you. Learning to tell the difference between helpful and harmful thoughts takes time, the study of cause and effect, and a commitment to look for happiness and warmth instead of short-term pleasure. Happiness must be cherished and nurtured in order to grow over time. It’s helpful to keep in mind that no thought or emotion is objectively good or bad. There are no absolutes. The guide, always, is happiness. By reshaping and rejecting negative, harmful thoughts, the nerve cells in the brain will change over time. And the human spirit changes alongside those brain cells, moving one’s entire being towards a more positive state. This process of seeking happiness isn’t always easy, but that difficulty is part of the journey. Cultivating happiness is similar to training or exercise. It can be hard in the moment, but it becomes easier and more habitual over time. As the training goes on, the benefits add up and build on each other, making it easier to increase happiness.

The minister had no trouble finding the home of Agni Sharma. Agni Sharma welcomed him and gave him a seat.

"Sir, I come with the proposal of marriage for your daughter, who tends cows in the forest nearby."

"For Vidyutprabha, but who is it from?"

"From the King of Patliputra, I don't understand."

When the minister told Agnisharma everything that happened in the forest, he requested,

"I am honored; please lead me to his majesty."

Accompanied by the minister Agnisharma, they met the king.

"Good Sir, I wish to marry your daughter."

" I am honored, your majesty."

"It is not proper that my queen's father lives in poverty." "From now on, you will get the money from twelve villages, and your daughter's new name will be Aramashobha."

The king sent the minister to Patliputra to make plans for a proper welcome for Aramashobha and his group. At Patliputra, for the first time in her life, Aramashobha led a life of ease and comfort.

Establishing and maintaining intimacy with other people is essential for happiness. Intimate relationships can take many forms; there is no universal standard. Personal relationships are also different across cultures, times, and even between people from the same time. There are many ways in which people experience and cultivate closeness. Often, people become fixated on a single form of intimacy, like romantic relationships, forgetting that there are many other kinds of relationships that are more readily available and just as emotionally satisfying. There’s family intimacy, for instance, and intimacy among friends. Even looser ties with acquaintances provide meaningful ways to connect with other people. Sometimes people go about establishing intimacy in the wrong way. Relationships that are based on open communication and mutual respect tend to be more stable and last longer than those that are based only on sexual attraction. For this reason, married couples should seek to build their relationships on emotional bonds instead of superficial qualities like physical appearance. In the Western world in particular, romantic love has become so idealized that relationships often can’t live up to people’s unreasonably high expectations. Relationships that are built more slowly over time tend to endure, which is more rewarding in the long run. One way to make a relationship last is to show empathy, which helps keep fights and upsets to a minimum. People who can really feel what other people are going through tend to have stronger relationships with others. By keeping an open mind and being aware of other people's backgrounds and points of view, it's easier to make friends and get along with them honestly. Compassion is the simple wish that others don't hurt themselves or suffer. It is a state of mind that leads to kindness, responsibility, and respect. There are two main types of compassion. The first form is, to some degree, false and unstable because it’s rooted in emotional bias. Biased compassion is tied to the expectation of reciprocal love: feeling compassion for someone because you care about him or her. This type of compassion is volatile because it can fade if the emotional attachment changes, such as when a married couple gets divorced. The second form of compassion is more stable because it’s based on universal goodwill rather than specific emotional regard. Happiness is a human right, not just a reward for select people. Everyone—friends, loved ones, and even enemies—deserves a life that is happy and free from suffering to whatever degree that’s possible. Generic compassion is less likely to change than emotional compassion because it is not tied to the current situation. When everyone deserves happiness regardless of their actions or someone else’s feelings about those actions, compassion becomes a default state rather than an active choice. It’s always offered with no strings attached. Compassion isn’t strictly altruistic. Compassion can be a self-serving thing to do because it can help you in both physical and emotional ways. Research suggests that compassionate people feel happier and healthier than their less compassionate counterparts. Compassion for others reduces the risk of heart disease and helps people respond better to stress, which leads to better health outcomes.

Meanwhile, her stepmother was buring in envy. She repented; why did she let Vidyutprabha go and graze cattle? As the years passed, her anger grew. Besides, her own daughter was now ready for marriage. She used to look at her daughter and think,

"My poor daughter! wasting her life here while Aramashobha lives in royal comfort as the beloved queen of Patliputra. "I wish she were dead."

She came up with a plan because she wanted to kill her stepdaughter and put her own daughter in her place. She thought if the queen of Patliputra died, the King would marry her daughter as a replacement. Just as she was thinking of the plan, Agnisharma entered the room. She told her husband,

"It's been many years since Aramashobha left us, and we haven't sent her anything."

"Yes, but she has all she needs." "Have you forgotten that she is the queen of Patliputra?"

"However rich her in-laws are, anything sent by her parents is always much dearer to a woman."

"I am going to make her favorite sweet for her."

She went to the kitchen and began to prepare sweetmeat, but while doing so, she made sure to add poison to it. She packed it in a small pot, took it to her husband, and said,

"Ask her not to share it with anyone; they may make fun of our humble gift."

Taking the pot Agnisharma set out for Patliputra. It was a hot and uncomfortable day. Agnisharma got tired and decided to rest for a while under a tree. Hearing his snores, a Yaksha who was dwelling on the tree came out. Being a celestial being, he understood everything when he saw Agisharma,

"What does my sixth sense tell me?" "Aramashobha's stepmother wants to poison her!"

Yaksha decided to stop it. With his magical powers, he replaced the poisoned sweetmeat with a celestial one while Agnisharma was sleeping. When Agnisharma woke up, he had no idea what had happened. He picked up the pot and kept walking. When he reached the palace, he was led to the king. The king welcomed him warmly. Agnisharma spoke to the king,

"May your Majesty ever prosper!"

"Welcome, sir." "What brings you here?"

"My wife has sent a small gift for the queen and her daughter."

"Take this to the queen and have some ornaments and rich garments brought here."

After so many years, Agnisharma's visit surprised the king, but he directed one of his servants. King presented those rich garments and ornaments to Agnisharma and said,

"These are for you and your family from the queen."

"Thank you, your majesty."

Agnisharma left the palace. But as told by her wife, he could not ask Aramashobha not to share it with anyone because the king wouldn't let her come into his presence. As soon as Agnisharma left, the king went into the queen's room, where the smell of the sweetmeat enchanted him. Queen Aramashobha shared it with the king, and they both ate it delightfully.

Everyone faces difficulties and suffering. Loss, particularly in the forms of aging, sickness, and death, is unavoidable. Dealing with these inevitable things in a healthy way can help lessen suffering, but it won't get rid of it completely. The first step to coping with painful loss is to accept it as a natural part of life. Denial will only make suffering worse, and in any case, denial only works for a short period of time. Someone who puts off coping with a family member’s death, for instance, is likely to fall into a deep depression after a period of denial. Unhealthy coping strategies like heavy alcohol and drug use will cause harm over the long term, even if they can seem to help ease loss as a temporary measure in the moment. A more effective strategy for dealing with loss is attitude adjustment. Every person sees the world in a way that either makes their suffering worse or lessens it. For example, people who think that getting older is bad and unpleasant will feel anxious and unhappy about time passing, even though they can't do anything about it. Those who accept aging, or even look at it in a positive light, will feel more psychologically resilient and happy overall as they deal with its related challenges. Another way to decrease suffering is to mentally prepare for it in advance. Anticipating the death of a loved one, for instance, can help ease the fear surrounding it. This mental preparation can’t erase the pain of loss entirely, but it’s an effective coping technique.

When Agnisharma reached his home, his wife asked him,

"Did you give it to her?" "Did you see her eat it?"

"How could I? She is a queen. "The pot was sent to her room."

Agnisharma's wife was sure that her trick worked. She decided to wait for the news of Aramashobha's death. Days turned to weeks, and weeks to months, but no news of the queen's death arrived. She grew impatient and thought to herself,

"Perhaps the poison was not deadly enough." I will send her another sweetmeat with a deadlier one."

Yaksha stopped the second bad plan by switching the poisoned sweetmeat with a sweetmeat from the heavens, without Agnisharma noticing anything. When Agnisharma returned home after delivering the pot, he told his wife,

"This time too, I didn't see Aramashobha but learned that she is expecting a baby."

His wife was certain that the poison would work this time, and Aramashoba would die before giving birth.

Much suffering is self-imposed. While some types of suffering are inevitable, it can often be avoided. Some problems don’t cause suffering in and of themselves, but dwelling on them can exacerbate them. A man who thinks that a misfortune that befalls him is unjust, for example, may become agitated or emotionally upset. This agitation in itself can become a distraction that makes it needlessly difficult to solve whatever the problem is. Other times, fixating on a problem causes emotional pain. People who are too sensitive might keep going over an unfair situation in their minds, which keeps the emotional pain fresh instead of letting it heal. It's important to tell the difference between pain and thoughts that make that pain last longer or hurt more than it needs to. Emotions like fear, guilt, and anger can make a situation seem worse than it really is. One way to stop suffering that isn't necessary is to try to see things from a different point of view. By analyzing a situation in this way, it may become clear that something that initially seemed unfair was not, in fact, unfair. Or it may be that a situation that seems problematic is in fact normal and nothing to worry about. For example, married couples whose passion for one another decreases over time may become unhappy about the state of their relationship. But such ebbs and flows in passion are normal and often not worth worrying about. Another way to ease suffering is to accept that no one is perfect. People make mistakes. People who have been hurt by others may be able to understand those who hurt them by admitting their own faults. Empathy always makes forgiveness easier. Change is the source of much needless suffering because people tend to resist it. But at the same time, change can be a source of comfort because no emotional state is permanent, including pain and anger. Someone who feels guilty or sad will, according to the laws of the universe, eventually feel something else.

Months passed, and nothing happened, and no news of the queen's death reached her. So she made another sweetmeat with the deadliest poison she knew. She instructed her husband,

"Take this to Aramashobha and bring her back with you." She must deliver her first child in her mother's home. If the king does not agree, force him to. Agnisharma assured her that he would try his best and left for Patliputra. As soon as Agnisharma left, she called for a well-digger from the village and ordered him to dig the deepest well in her backyard. As before, the alerted yaksha changed the poisonous sweetmeat for the divine one. Agnisharma returned to the palace with harmless sweetmeat. He offered it to the king, and the king made it be taken to the chambers of the queen.

"Your majesty, I would like to take Aramashobha home because, according to our customs, her first child must be born at her mother's home."

"Impossible! "I cannot let her go with you."

Agnisharma insisted, "If you don't send her, I will give up my life right here."

Ministers were worried. They advised the king to allow Aramashobha to go with him.

"Your Majesty! Let the queen go. This is a mad man. If he carries out what he says, people will hold you responsible for his death."

The king reluctantly agreed, and Aramashobha set off with her father. At home a few days later, Aramashobha's son was born. One day she was out with her stepmother in the backyard when she noticed the well.

"Mother, when was this well dug?" It was not here when I left for Patliputra.

"I have dug the well especially for you. "You are the queen now, and your safety is important." "Envious villagers might poison your drinking water."

"How kind and thoughtful of you, mother."

Before she could complete her sentence, her stepmother pushed her inside the well, and the grove disappeared. While falling down the well, she was reminded of the boon given by Deva (God). She prayed to him for help, and he saved her.

"How did you fall into the well?"

"My stepmother pushed me in."

"I will slay her this minute and take you to the palace."

"Please don't do that." "Think of my father."

"Alright. "I shall build you a home in the nether world below this well, where you shall know no want."

Suffering can be meaningful. When you can't avoid suffering, a good way to deal with it is to look for whatever meaning it might have. Sometimes emotional pain can make people more tough and resilient. Other times, it can make them vulnerable and more dependent on others. Both of these outcomes can be valuable. Another way in which suffering is meaningful is that it deepens the capacity for empathy and compassion. People who suffer are more likely to feel sympathetic toward the suffering of others—and, whenever possible, help prevent or ease that suffering. Physiologically, pain serves an important function. Pain may not feel pleasant in the moment, but it serves a purpose. People who can’t perceive pain routinely injure themselves or exacerbate existing injuries. This biological process is a good way to explain how emotional pain works, which is to protect us in a similar way.

When the maids came to take Aramashobha back to the palace, accompanied by the minister, they found her stepmother wailing in her chamber.

"Alas! my daughter! Someone has cast an evil eye on her good fortune. Where is your beauty? Where is your grace? "What would the king say?"

She passed her own daughter off as the queen, who is suffering from a strange disease that has bloated her face and dulled her eyes. The maids believed her and led her to the palanquin that would take her to the palace of the king. But there was no grove following her. They asked her,

"Where is the grove?" "Why doesn't it follow you?"

"Oh! It has gone to the well to be watered. "It will follow soon."

Soon she was at the palace and was welcomed by the king. King took the baby into his arms. But there was something strange about the queen, and the king noticed it and asked her,

"But what is the matter with you, my beloved?"

"It must be some internal disease or disorder, my Lord." It happened soon after the prince was born."

"And where is your grove?"

"Ah! It was getting watered at the well, so I left it behind. Don't worry."

The king was worried.

"Strange! " The grove never needed watering before! "Is this Aramashobha or some other imposter?" There seems to be some mischief afoot. "I will have to wait and see."

Early the next morning, the King again repeated the same question. Imposter replied,

"Don't worry, my Lord!" "It will come in due time."

By now, the king was certain that he had been duped. She was an imposter. But then where was Queen Aramashobha?

Aramashobha was in the nether world. She was safe and comfortable, but very unhappy. She requested that god allow her to visit her child in the palace. The god agreed. Aramashobha set off for the palace and picked sweet flowers and juicy fruits from her magical grove. She reached the prince's chambers and hugged him tight. But the hours flew by swiftly, and very soon it was time to depart.

The next day, when the maid awoke, she found sweet fruits and flowers lined alongside the baby on the cot. She immediately reported the matter to the king.

"These fruits and flowers are exactly like the ones that grew in the queen's grove."

"Ask the queen to see me at the prince's chamber."

When the king asked the imposter how these flowers and fruits reached here, she lied.

"Oh, those!" I brought them for our son from my grove."

" Is that so?" Then bring me some just now."

It happened again the next morning, and the king decided to keep watch at night.

Negative emotions are harmful. Negative emotions like anger and hatred are damaging in multiple ways, both physically and emotionally. Pessimistic emotions trouble the mind and make people feel unhappy. Bad feelings also block the ability to connect with others, dampening compassion and the urge to help others. Anger isn't always unavoidable, but there are ways to make it go away or even get rid of it completely. Anger should always be directly confronted, but it should never be left unchecked. One of the best tools to fight anger is analysis. People who are angry should try to carefully examine their own feelings and try to figure out why they are angry in the first place. Often, the very act of slowing down to analyze a situation helps ease the mind and interrupt negative thought patterns. One problem with dark emotions is that they’re cyclical and self-perpetuating. Anger begets anger, in part because the body becomes aroused in a way that makes the mind more susceptible to irritation. The same is true of positive emotions, which make people happier and less vulnerable to negative situations. Patience and tolerance are like muscles that become stronger with practice. Where anger is destructive, patience is constructive. Like anger, negative emotions such as anxiety and worry are emotionally and physically draining and damaging over time. Research suggests there is a strong connection between mental disturbance and physical illness. Worrying too much can suppress the immune system, tense the muscles, and lead to deeper health problems like heart disease. Like anger, worry should be confronted and addressed. Oftentimes, anxiety is illogical, so it’s possible to replace negative thoughts with a positive attitude. If a problem can be addressed in some way, it’s more useful to use energy to solve the problem instead of worrying about it. And if a problem can’t be addressed, it’s illogical to worry, because negative emotions will only make the situation worse.

Things were about to change for the king. As he was keeping watch at the prince's chamber, he saw Aramashobha entering the prince's chamber with a basket of flowers and fruits. The king could hear her sad voice as she lamented not being able to be with the young prince. Time passed quickly, Aramashobha placed the young prince in the cot and was about to leave when the king caught her.

"No, you won't, Aramashobha!"

"My Lord, You!"

"No, Aramashobha, now that I have found you, I will not let you go."

"Please let me go." Don't stop me now. "I will come back again tomorrow night and tell you everything."

The king insisted,

"No, my queen, tomorrow night is too far off." Tell me now. Tell me all. "Till you do, I won't let go of your hand."

Aramashobha had no choice but to begin her tale. She narrated the story as fast as she could to leave before the sunrise. She finished her story with these lines:

" And the god said, if I don't return before the sunrise, a dead snake will drop from my hair, and I will lose him forever."

Just as she finished her lines, a dead snake dropped from her hair, and seeing the snake, Aramashobha fainted, for she had no one to turn to for protection. When she returned to her senses, she found herself in the royal chamber with the king beside her. Taking her hand, he spoke softly,

"Take my heart, dear." You will no longer need the god because I will always be there for you. I will never let you out of my sight, and no one can ever harm you again. As for your stepsister, she will be severely beaten for playing the imposter."

But Aramashobha requested that the king spare the life of her sister. The king promised her to do so but decided to banish her from his kingdom. King and Aramashobha lived happily for years, and when the prince came of age, he was crowned as king.

Change is a long-term process, and it isn’t always easy. People have an incredible power to change for the better, including the ability to enhance their own happiness. But there is no quick fix for unhappiness or desired change, even if Western culture often suggests otherwise. Real change is a process that unfolds over time. So it’s crucial to have realistic expectations about how much effort that change will require, how long it will take, and what progress will look like on a day-to-day basis. Progress may be slow, and it will likely require sustained determination. Education about the issue at hand is the first step in enacting positive change. But learning itself is not enough to effect change. Conviction and determined action are also needed. Smoking cessation is a good example of all three necessary ingredients. Some countries try to hide information about how bad smoking is, which at first keeps people from thinking about quitting. But even when people are well educated about the harms of smoking, they still have to decide to quit and then put in serious effort to actually enact that decision. Even if people know that smoking is bad for them, they still need to work hard to stop smoking. New habits require thought plus action, whether it’s an individual who’s trying to stop smoking, a community that wants to recycle more, or a worldwide effort to curb reliance on fossil fuels. New habits can be jump-started when people feel a special sense of urgency that injects energy into their efforts. The trick is to not let a negative state of mind take hold. People often give up on finding happiness when they run into problems, even if the problems are only short-term. It can be helpful to remember that happiness and joy are natural states, whereas negativity is unnatural. Positive thoughts can be a great tool for combating negativity.

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