"Not knowing anything is the sweetest life" - Sophocles

One of the most transformational moments in my personal life and career was in a coaching session with Roberto Bernal when I was transitioning to a role of increased responsibility several years ago. I remember that the topics that I brought to discuss to that session were power and vulnerability.

My objectives for that session were to exchange views of how I might strengthen my "signs of power" and what actions I should take in order not to look vulnerable in front of my "new direct reports". Fortunately, I failed on those objectives and left the session with a different perception of power and vulnerability. Like every change, it was a process, I did not change my mind in one session, but it was the starting point.

By that time, in my mind the leader had to be an expert in everything and needed to be clever enough to have the answers for all the questions that the employees may have. The fear of being exposed and look incompetent in front of the team was bigger that the importance of achieve real connections and be humble enough to listen to different points of view. I have realized how wrong my concept of leadership was.

I was challenged by Roberto to start making small changes that would drive me to be more real, less bossy and Mr. know it all. I started by having one on one meetings with my direct reports and when tough questions came…I forced myself to admit, and actually answered, “I don't know”.

The first time there was lot of anxiety and it was hard for me to do it, but I also saw and realized it was not the end of the world. The second time there was less anxiety and it kept reducing every time until I truly felt comfortable admitting that I did not have all the answer.

I also experienced that realizing and admitting what I didn't know was an opportunity for: 1) Work together with my team to find new and different responses to the challenges we were facing 2) Strengthen the relationship and bonding with my team members 3) Build trust and encourage others to admit and say out loud what they didn't know 4) Generate curiosity and questioning 5) Activate our “seeking system” and rethink things thru.  

Having one on one meetings was the way I found to start talking about my flaws, make real connections with my team and find the power of admitting my vulnerabilities. With time, it got easier to the point that I now feel comfortable saying out loud what I don't know and most important I try to keep a growing mindset and learn not only from my bosses and most admired leaders but also from everyone I meet. When you realized that you don't know what you don't know the learnings are exponential! 

It is not easy to be a leader these days. There are many complexities and expectations that keep adding pressure to leadership roles for us to try to know it all and have all the answers. One way to face these challenging times is to surround with people that are better than you (and have answers that you don't or are willing to help you find them), being real and keep building on your self-awareness.

For this example and several others is why I truly believe that coaching skills are now essential to be a better leader, drive transformations, embrace changes and make ourself and our teams grow.

Thank you Roberto for a transformative coaching session!