Languishing - the 2021 feeling

This word caught my eye on social media this week: Languish.

Sociologist Corey Haynes coined the feeling ‘languishing’ - showing up for life but living without purpose or aim. I think many, if not all of us can relate to feeling like this last year or even this year. For some of us, it will have been the dominant emotion of 2021. We went through a difficult 2020, hoping for a brighter 2021 but it hasn’t bowled us over. We may have even felt the pressure to be bright and chirpy, embracing this new year (which we are scarily, nearly half way through)

Reality then hits. Work is relentless, all boundaries with work and home life blurred, we miss human interaction, sometimes (like yesterday) the days are dreary and we’re anxious of what’s to come. Languishing has led us to feel overwhelmed, challenged by trying to focus on one task at a time, constantly checking emails, swiping for an update and mindlessly scrolling. Fun fact - pre pandemic, people habitually checked their emails 74 times a day. My guess is that might have doubled during the pandemic. 

Psychologist Adam Grant calls it ‘the neglected middle child of mental health’ with a description of ‘a sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at life through a foggy windshield’. 

The windshield is getting clearer for me and a few things have helped me along the way both in my work life and personal (yes I’m going to separate them)

Work:

1. Recognising languish itself
2. Appreciating when I do my best work - Mornings - therefore utilising that time to start the tasks you like the least
3. Utilising the do not disturb function you have on your Teams/Skype etc to really focus on the task at hand
4. Turning off pop up email notifications 
5. Leaving my personal phone in a different room and not checking it till the task is finished or lunchtime/a time when you would have a break
6. Being present for meetings - find yourself scrolling on your phone whilst in a meeting? You wouldn’t do this (I would hope not) in person so don’t do it when working remotely

Personal:

1. Set those boundaries. E.g. lunchtime = time away from screens, eat at a table, not in front of your laptop 
2. Fresh air - yes it’s hard sometimes but you’ll thank yourself after
3. Weekends - if you’re not booked at a rooftop bar every weekend in London then plan your weekend at home. What tasks do you want to get done? Life admin? Sorting finances etc. Utilise these last weekends before socialising really ramps up
4. Challenge yourself - set yourself a challenge and do something different

Grant says that languishing is the absence of wellbeing so let’s centre it back to you and looking after yourself, however that might look for you. We know we love to have that day when we feel so productive and a mini pat on the back to acknowledge all that we have achieved. We are happy when we are productive and making progress and a few of the points above can help towards that.