Laughing clubs, Tai Chi and the “Art of Ageing”

Circa early 50’s, my father trespassed into a defence base, where they were serving biryani and recruiting for the armed forces. He had a military bearing with a good eyesight and a strong nose for biryani. He was an excellent swimmer too, and that was enough to convince the nation that he belonged to the high seas. Psychometric tests had not started than, else the nation would have lost a brave heart who loved his beret and biryanis. My grandparents didn’t wail or cry and make a big fuss when my father joined the Navy. It was plain and simple livelihood too. Nationalism had not reached the frenzy that freaks you out today. He was the personification of George Bernard shaw’s ‘chocolate cream soldier’ who lived, to fight another day.

My grandfather was ageless, for he did not know his year and date of birth. It didn’t matter much in rural India in those days. There was no job market to register to. His age depended on his mood, and his mood, on his moves. The barometer of his age being how many stories he could narrate in his squatting position under the neem tree. He narrated many stories to the village youngsters, who rose to great heights under the neem tree. When I last saw them, they were squatted under the neem tree telling their stories. They were self-employed you see! Those were times when ageing had not taken an art form. Ageing was more a natural process. It is now an art, science, and a crafty glee for the marketeers. Those were times when you knew you had aged, from the noise that came from your knees. The joints spoke to you and foreboded you about the musical days ahead, and you accepted gracefully. You never doubted them. I mean how could you! Now everyone grows gracefully with laughing clubs, Tai Chi, and Physicians in tow.

Massive capital is being pumped into research on longevity. Everybody wants to grow, but nobody wants to go. I don’t know another species that is educated and fed for twenty-five years before productivity kicks in. Most other species could complete several lifetimes in that space. There are some who go through the complete cycle of creation to cremation in a cycle of one sunrise to the next. In that span, they master all there is to existence. We need twenty-five years of education, karate classes and karaoke singing, to be deemed worthy of a corporate cubicle. It doesn’t end there. At twenty-five you are still the new kid on the block. You will be assessed every three months lest you should go down the tar pit without monitoring. And if you don’t fit in the right side of the normal curve called the bell, you could soon be off their bill. Don’t tell me, I didn’t warn you. If you keep reading my articles you may lose your sanity, but readership of my posts goes up, and that is a win-win for all. It works for everyone. At least it works for me.

I am told, laughing clubs are a good way to grey with grace. The biology of laughing releases more endorphins in your brain. When enough endorphins are released, they need to escape the brain, and the shortest route is through the ears. That is the short biology on how you could grow hair on your ears. It is not a natural process; it takes a lot of laughing and grace too. Nothing comes easy these days! Laughing clubs are a great place to witness happiness. Buddhism says “Life is a struggle” because they never saw this coming. The members get angry, when confronted and questioned about this bizarre behaviour. When they get flustered, they laugh again, till you can see their hearts through their mouths. It is for a reason; they call it a hearty laugh. The one in my area has members from different political parties and they laugh at each other. Props do help a lot! But I get their point when they argue, that if you can laugh at nothing, you will end up laughing at everything. Not a bad ending, no matter what the means and what that means. Before the laughing clubs come chasing for me, I want to remind them, that this is a satirical piece to generate humour and laughter. Helping folks to laugh is what we both live for. So, cheers…. to all that ends well.

I also hear that Tai Chi too is being practiced in many countries by the ageing group. These folks use Taiji spear in their routines. As I age, I feel very insecure to think about one of these guys with a Taiji spear doing a Tai Chi on me and running away with my Digital lockers and the passwords. Unlike power points, the Taiji spear has only one point, and if you get the point, you are easily convinced to part with your passwords. Provided, you can remember them in these Tai Chi situations. Life was never meant to be easy for jay walkers who wish to age with no martial skills. I recommend night classes for my ageing corporate folks, who do not wish to live in a dumpster, while their ilk is closing in on them with Taiji spears. Intelligence can only take you that far when you encounter a Tai Chi pelvic movement with a spear.

The good news is that technology helps you to live longer. Intelligence is going up too, not just the organic one that you had to lumber around with, but also its synthetic cousins called AI and deep learning, that you can strap around your waist. But the bad news is that the legal age for drinking will go up too. When this goes up to 35, you realize many of our ancestors would have died without a glass of beer, because that was the life expectancy in those days. I’m not sure what the legal age for drinking AND driving would be. You will have to ask an overworked cop on a night patrol. But carry an extra pair of pyjamas, for you may need it in the lock up. Good to be organized and be prepared.

In the end if you want to live till ’99’ and if you miss …oh that dirty century! Make sure the interest rates are not falling on your deposits, and the discounted future cash flows are enough to keep you laughing. I am open for consultation and advice. But online gambling is not an option if that is on your mind. See you later!