LAWYERS: TIME TO FILL THE EMPTY BUCKET

WHAT IS AN EMPTY BUCKET?

Why do lawyers put themselves and their needs last?

It is a chronic behavior of the legal profession that creates a burden for lawyers.

They pay a high cost, often running themselves ragged, tending to clients, and then going home to support spouses and children.

MY EMPTY BUCKET

I have always had a coach to help me learn and grow continually. 

But this was not something I learned quickly.

 When I was a young woman, as a divorcee raising my two children many years ago, my coach said to me:

• "Pamela, you give so much of yourself to everyone else.
• But you, my dear, are exhausted, run-down, and depleted.
• Yet, you reach into your empty bucket to give to others. 
• But it's like your empty bucket has a hole in the bottom of it.
• You reach into the soil beneath your bucket dig into the dirt to give to others."

My coach was trying to tell me that if I didn't stop giving to others from an empty bucket, I would eventually have 

no bucket at all.

HITTING THE WALL

It didn't happen immediately, but I eventually burned myself out completely. 

I was exhausted, seriously ill, almost went blind, and came close to death. I was unable to recuperate. It took me two years to recover. 

When I coach lawyers to avoid completely burning themselves out, I speak from personal experience.

ATTORNEYS BADGE OF HONOR

The first thing that a lawyer thinks about when they wake up in the morning is what everyone else needs.

Many attorneys call it a badge of honor when they think of themselves as:

❇️ unselfish

❇️ altruistic

❇️ self-forgetting

❇️ self-denying

❇️ self-forgetful

❇️ self-sacrificial

❇️ a person of self-sacrifice

❇️ selfless

THE COST

But there is a cost for all of this sacrifice and selflessness. 

Lawyers will find themselves needing excessive alcohol, tranquilizers, drugs, or food to cope.

Others zone out with their devices, television, or surfing the web just to get through the day.

Going too far to please others can leave you feeling emotionally depleted, depressed, stressed, and anxious. 

If you don't change, you can collapse from exhaustion, become seriously ill, or suffer from complete burnout physically, mentally, and emotionally.

10 SIGNS THAT IT IS TIME TO CHANGE

Here are some signs that you need to start filling your empty bucket and say no.

1. You have a hard time saying "no."
2. You are overly concerned with what other people think of you.
3. You feel guilty when you say "no."
4. You fear that others will think of you as mean if you say no.
5. You believe that taking care of yourself means you are selfish.
6. You agree to things you don't really want to do.
7. You spend your life trying to earn others' approval.
8. You take the blame even when something isn't your fault.
9. You never have any free time because you always do things for others.
10. You neglect your own needs to do things for others.

BECOME GENEROUS TO YOURSELF

✅ It is essential for lawyers who are often caregivers of their clients, families, and friends to start being generous and advocating for themselves.

✅ It may feel selfish at first, but to give your very best to your clients and your families, you need to be mentally, physically, and emotionally healthy. 

✅ Being a people-pleaser makes it impossible to pursue your own dreams and happiness.

✅ Set boundaries and take back your time and your life. 

✅ Remember, you can't truly please anyone if you can't please yourself first.

If you want to learn how to stop this cycle and fill your bucket, DM me here by clicking this link: CLICK HERE