Lead with Feelings

Turn emotions into an asset—lead with sensitivity, lead with strength

Sometime back, I was in a heated promotions meeting, discussing a woman who had delivered strong results. She had a reputation for fostering deep loyalty and collaboration. By all accounts, she was ready for a bigger leadership role. But then, the conversation took a turn. “She’s too sensitive,” one of the senior leaders said. “She takes things personally. We need someone tougher to drive the team.” Others chimed in. “She listens too much to her team’s problems”. They worried she might be too compassionate—too concerned with how her decisions would impact people.

Deeply embedded in our society is the classic image of a great leader — someone who is assertive and tough. But sensitive? No, thank you. If anything, that’s a disadvantage, right? In the leadership game, men are commanded to dispense with all sensitivity, while women are instructed not to be “so sensitive”.

Unfortunately, because of this widely prevalent view, many sensitive people give up on their leadership dreams even before getting started. Those who do manage to become leaders tend to hide or suppress their inherent sensitivity, fearing it could be the Achilles heel that brings them down.

The truth is that sensitivity can be a superpower, especially given the concerns of burnout and mental health in the workplace. In this week’s post, let’s explore how being sensitive can be a strength for leaders. How can you optimise your sensitive side to lead more effectively?

In the mid-1990s, research psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron coined the term HSP, meaning highly sensitive person. Believed to constitute somewhere between 15-30% of the population, HSPs are acutely aware of their environment and other people’s emotions. Often called empathetic and intuitive, they pick up and process more information than their less-sensitive counterparts. They are also naturally inclined to listen more closely and reflect more deeply.

These qualities translate to several advantages in the workplace. Sensitive leaders are well-equipped to:

• Grasp a situation in its entirety, from little details to big picture
• Understand and support team members to bring out their best
• Balance the needs and priorities of different stakeholders
• Notice and resolve interpersonal conflicts
• Build authentic relationships and cultivate loyalty
• Tap into collective creativity to drive innovation

Adept at reading between the lines and decoding social cues, sensitive leaders can see beyond the obvious.

For instance, if a team member seems reluctant to take on a new project, a less sensitive leader might attribute it to laziness or lack of ambition. But a sensitive leader can see deeper: perhaps the person is afraid of falling short or not getting along with the project head. This enables the leader to dig deeper and take appropriate action: provide additional training and help to resolve the interpersonal conflict or assign a different project.

An article in Psychology Today notes that sensitive leaders are also uniquely positioned to pull together and execute creative strategies:

Because HSPs are so empathically tuned in, they are keenly aware of how to creatively problem-solve in and through relationships. This adds valuable buy-in and flexibility for instituting…change and often supersedes conventional solutions. HSPs work flexibly to adjust their creative strategies. Because they can notice and sense so many different pieces of the puzzle, they are adept at reworking how they put it all together to create innovative solutions that most people never think would work.

Sensitive leaders can also help to reshape company culture for the better. This is especially relevant for toxic workplaces, where putting more such individuals in positions of authority can be a game-changer. The changes won’t happen overnight — as we know, culture is notoriously difficult to shift — but over time, sensitive leaders can foster a more compassionate workplace where employee wellbeing takes its rightful place alongside metrics and targets.

Of course, like any personality trait, sensitivity is a double-edged sword: the same qualities can also become an albatross around their neck. If left unregulated, your natural sensitivity could lead to:

• Becoming overwhelmed in high-pressure situations
• Getting drained by other people’s emotions
• Being unable to receive constructive criticism

Thus, mastering leadership as a sensitive leader means leveraging the positive side of sensitivity while also managing its inherent challenges.

Harness Your Sensitive Traits

By capitalising on their inherent bent for human expertise and creativity, sensitive people can become exceptional leaders.

Whether you’re already a leader or aspiring to be one, it’s time to let go of archaic notions and embrace sensitivity as an asset.

Here are six suggestions to help you optimise your sensitive side for leadership:

1. Normalise thoughtful decisions.

Sensitive people like to take their time while making big decisions. They listen deeply, absorb information from various angles, and deliberate with care before arriving at a conclusion. But in today’s lightning-speed world with shrinking attention spans, you may feel pressured to rush this process — even when there is no real urgency. Resist this pressure! As a leader, being able to devote your complete, unhurried attention to the matter at hand is a tremendous gift.

Modelling this behaviour will also encourage your team to evaluate issues more deeply before deciding on a course of action. (A word of caution: don’t overthink and delay the decision indefinitely. Set a reasonable deadline for yourself and stick to it.)

2. Pick up on emotional cues.

Leading with sensitivity means you’re tuned in to more than just the tasks at hand—you’re paying attention to the emotional energy of your team. It’s not enough to hear what people say; you also need to notice what’s left unsaid. Is someone quieter than usual? Is there tension building in the group? A sensitive leader senses when something is off and addresses it before it becomes a bigger issue.

For example, if you notice a usually vocal team member becoming distant, don’t brush it off. Pull them aside and check-in. Sometimes, a simple “Is everything alright?” can make all the difference. It shows that you’re invested not only in their work but also in them as individuals.

3. Balance compassion with accountability.

One of the biggest misconceptions about sensitivity is that it means being lenient or letting people off the hook. In reality, being sensitive doesn’t mean avoiding tough conversations—it means approaching them with empathy. You can hold someone accountable while still being compassionate. It’s about understanding the challenges your team is facing and working with them to overcome obstacles rather than just focusing on the outcome.

Say a team member has missed a deadline. Instead of immediately reprimanding them, start with empathy: “I noticed the project didn’t come in on time—what’s going on? How can we work through this?” This approach not only keeps the conversation constructive but also opens the door to finding real solutions rather than just assigning blame.

4. Take control of your calendar.

Due to their keen sensory awareness, sensitive leaders are prone to becoming overstimulated in hectic, high-pressure scenarios. As Andre Sólo, founder of the Sensitive Refuge website, points out:

Give a sensitive person a quiet space and some time to think, and they’ll quickly outperform most other people.

As a sensitive leader, it’s vital to curate your schedule in a way that unlocks your full potential while keeping overwhelm at bay. Build in buffers to let your mind “catch up” with information overload. Carve out focused time for deep work and reflection. Designate a no-meeting day. Schedule one-on-one or small-group meetings with team members. Play to your sensitive strengths instead of trying to “overcome” them.

5. Set boundaries.

Sensitive people often absorb and carry the big, complicated emotions of people around them. This can be exhausting and put you at risk of burnout, especially if your team members are facing serious challenges or the company is going through a rough time.

Setting boundaries is a tough but necessary task for sensitive leaders, who have a tendency to overlook their own well-being. As the saying goes: put your oxygen mask on first, before assisting others. For leaders, this means allocating time for rest and recovery.

Give yourself some breathing room during the day with short solo breaks; protect this time like you would an important meeting! When you go on vacation, disconnect from the workplace and let your team know you won’t be available. Remember, refilling your own energy tank will allow you to continue being a supportive leader in the long run.

6. Don’t play therapist.

Being highly attuned to people’s feelings can lead to getting overly involved in their personal challenges. Keep in mind that you are not your team members’ therapist. By all means, show compassion, offer support and co-create solutions — but resist the urge to get drawn into the minutiae of each and every issue.

If people overstep and continually vent, don’t be afraid to re-draw the line gently but firmly. As Jim Bozzelli, Vice President of Gavel International, tells HSPs:

You of all people have mastered the art of dealing with people in a tactful, considerate, and thoughtful way.

Despite its negative connotations in traditional corporate settings, sensitivity is not a weakness but a potential superpower. As a new, more well-rounded paradigm of leadership emerges, we would all do well to embrace our sensitive side. By leading from a place of empathy and emotional awareness, we can bolster our efforts to build strong teams, deploy innovative strategies, and foster a healthier, safer and more inclusive work culture.

In the end, I leave you with this insightful message shared by Sólo:

Sensitive people can offer [their] gifts because of their sensitivity, not in spite of it. And the world wants what sensitive people have to offer — creativity, compassion, and the ability to make connections that other people miss.