Leaders: How to Handle a Know-It-All

We’ve all had a know-it-all in our lives. They’re the ones who know more than you, have done more than you, and own more than you. They are experts at every single thing, with an annoying air of superiority that surrounds them.

They will dominate conversations, not letting others get in a word edgewise, they’ll offer unsolicited advice and seem belligerent and argumentative for no apparent reason.

Someone who is a know-it-all may act overconfident and arrogant, but the sad reality is that they have the lowest self-esteem. The reason they brag to anyone who will listen is to make themselves feel better and smarter than they believe themselves to be.

The personality traits that make someone a know-it-all also include acting impulsively, being unable to read social cues accurately, and having poor listening skills.

Not surprisingly, these same personality characteristics can also be indicative of particular mental disorders, including narcissistic personality disorder, and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

 Of course, just about every preteen or teenager goes through a developmental period where they think they know everything. They refuse to listen to adult input based on knowledge and experience, and can be exceptionally frustrating for their parents.

This is usually relatively short-lived, and most will grow out of this stubborn stage to become more cooperative, open-minded adults.

 Dealing with a know-it-all requires that you take nothing they say or do personally. For them, it is all about how to preserve their fragile sense of self-worth, rather than how they actually feel about you.

And don’t even try to argue with a know-it-all. To do so is a lesson in frustration, and it’ll only result in an argument that you can’t win, no matter how right you are.

Since we know that know-it-alls crave attention and praise, focus on their strengths, and compliment them genuinely when they’ve succeeded,.

Flattery will truly get you everywhere with a know-it-all. Also, try to offer constructive criticism in a non-threatening way. They may not even realize that how they’re acting is causing them problems.

And, of course, set very clear boundaries when you’re dealing with a know-it-all. When you’re communicating, do so confidently, with decisiveness.

They may try to intervene with your plan of action by giving unsolicited criticism. Utilize patience, and remind them of the original game plan as much as you need to.

Always make sure you’re presenting a good role model yourself by communicating effectively and confidently, giving others a chance to give input and express opinions, and having patience.

Be the leader people want to follow.

Rich Grehalva

I have a free report called the 6 LEVELS OF WARRIOR LEADERSHIP FOR MEN. In it, I address how men have followed the traditional style of being a boss, which isn’t working, and offer a new model for men in leadership to meet what is needed today.

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