Leadership is listening

Leadership often involves a great deal of talking, but as an ancient philosopher reminds us, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”. Too often, leaders listen merely to prepare their own responses. However, the real strength lies in listening deeply—not to formulate an answer, but to fully understand. Deep listening involves being fully present and open to the speaker’s message.

In today’s information-heavy world, leaders are expected to keep up with everything—but the secret to good leadership isn’t always about speed.  Sometimes, the best thing a leader can do is slow down and listen. - and I mean the sort of listening that involves actually hearing people. It’s the kind of listening that sees beyond the words, picks up on the emotions, and spots the clues people give about what they really need (sometimes without even knowing they need it themselves).

Stephen R. Covey once said, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”  Too often, I think we see talking and listening as a game of tennis, seeking to extend the verbal rally to and fro over the net for as long as possible, always focused on our next riposte.

For me, the real magic of leadership lies in setting all that aside and simply listening—not just to respond, but to actually understand.

For example, consider a team meeting where a member expresses frustration about project timelines. A leader who listens deeply won’t just focus on the surface complaint but will tune into the underlying stress and potential workload imbalance. By acknowledging the concern's practical and emotional aspects, you can address the issue more effectively—perhaps by rebalancing tasks or offering additional support—while making the team members feel heard and respected.

By listening—truly listening—you’ll catch the nuances and be able to provide the kind of help that makes a difference. 

When you truly listen, you can guide with greater insight and authenticity, building more robust, connected teams. The power of deep listening is often underestimated, yet it remains one of the most transformative leadership and communication skills. Leaders who embrace this practice establish trust and connection. 

All humans want to be genuinely heard, whether at work or home. By listening deeply, leaders can gain a richer understanding of the people in our world. We can sense the underlying emotions, motivations, and concerns by going below the surface. Armed with this more comprehensive information, we will inevitably make better decisions.

People who are fully heard will feel respected and valued. When their perspectives are elicited and considered, they will be encouraged to contribute meaningfully more regularly. For example, a brainstorming session dominated by a leader who talks constantly will never be as productive as one where the leader shuts up and encourages the quieter staff to share their thoughts—and listens deeply to those contributions and reflects them back later. This is enormously empowering for your staff.

When you press pause on your own thoughts and genuinely listen, you open the door for richer ideas to emerge. A brainstorming session where everyone is encouraged to speak creates a tapestry of insights, sparking innovations and solutions no one person could create alone.

Never fall into the trap of believing you are the smartest person in the room—because you probably are not. Just because you are the boss doesn’t mean you know everything or have examined something from all aspects—because you won’t have. Enabling others to contribute and drive innovation will create smarter outcomes.

If a conflict arises, deep listening often reveals that it’s rooted in simple misunderstandings. You can prevent unnecessary escalations and keep the atmosphere collaborative by tuning in and addressing these issues early.

American psychiatrist Karl Menninger said, "Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand." I love the ‘unfold and expand’ idea. Listening well grows our universe and allows us to move beyond our preconceptions and biases.

Learning to read between the lines lets you pick up on the unspoken. When you are in authority, no matter how collegiate the atmosphere you have cultivated, inevitably, some staff will be unwilling or uncomfortable to share what’s troubling them, holding them back, or impeding their performance. When you pick up on those underlying emotions, concerns, or motivations, you can respond in ways that lead to a quality response.

Modelling quality listening behaviour empowers others on your team. You are handing them a megaphone through which they can feel validated and heard, boosting their confidence to contribute, share and engage. Meetings can transform from you talking at people to dynamic, creative moments.

Giving people at work and home your full attention creates an environment where they are more likely to feel valued. By setting an example, you highlight that communication is less about talking to each other and more about genuine connection. 

Deep listening is not just a skill—it’s a mindset built on empathy, patience, and curiosity. Leaders who embrace this practice foster trust, innovation, and stronger team dynamics. By pausing our own agenda and tuning into others, we create an environment where everyone feels valued. The benefits of listening deeply extend beyond work, enhancing relationships wherever genuine connection is needed.