Leading with Emotional Savvy: The 3 Secrets to Driving Personal Satisfaction and Organizational Success

This article was inspired by a video post shared by management thought leader Susan David, Ph.D. , author of Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life, shared about how "Emotions get a bad reputation—especially in the workplace—but they’re actually powerful tools that are essential to our growth." It's good, go watch it.

Here are 3 distinctions to extend the usefulness of this conversation you've started that many of my private group clients have found useful on this topic as business leaders looking to cultivate a healthy workplace culture.

Bear in mind that these ideas are shared in the context of leadership development, not therapy.

As a leader, it's crucial to understand how emotions can be appropriately shared (Expression), how they can influence the performance of those around you (Transmission), and how they can provide valuable insights when decoded (Satisfaction).

1. Expression.

The idea is to express your emotions, feelings, or reactions appropriately so that you can think better and be informed without the automatic bias and distortion that pent up emotional responses often carry.

During one session, Pat, an executive private client, vented his frustrations about his direct reports and executive assistant. I listened empathetically, allowing him to unburden himself. 

The next day he said he had more clarity in making decisions than he had in years. He made a strategic decision that he had postponed to pull a new, underperforming service product off the market with detailed instructions of things to fix to his product head and market research director. 

To this day, he still refers to this session as a turning point when he got what it meant to feel his feelings without having to act on them.

Every one of us, especially those who lead others in organizations, needs someone to confide in, to listen to them think aloud, and to not judge them or think less of them when they're just getting things off their chest. 

2. Transmission.

Emotions are not just personal experiences; they are also social phenomena. They can spread through a team or an entire organization, affecting morale, productivity, and overall culture. This is particularly true for leaders, whose emotional states can have a significant impact on their teams. 

Consider what Laura, a CEO of a tech startup, learned about embracing all emotions, not jut the "nice ones." She was known for her infectious enthusiasm and positivity. Even during challenging times, Laura maintained a positive outlook, which had a noticeable effect on her team. When she was upbeat, her team was too. They were more engaged, more productive, and more collaborative. But when Laura was stressed or upset, her team's performance suffered. They became more anxious, less focused, and less productive.  

Once Laura realized the impact of how she shared her emotions had on her team, she decided to take proactive steps, including centering exercises and being more open about conditions that needed attention and correction, not just the good news. As a result, her managers gave her more details about a wide range of issues. This shift towards authenticity led to a more transparent culture that accomplished more without the burden of "upsetting things."

Laura's change illustrates the power of emotional transmission in leadership. As a leader, your emotions can set the tone for your team. By managing your emotions effectively and by communicating openly, you can create a more authentically positive, productive work environment.

3. Satisfaction.

Emotions are not just reactions to events; they are also sources of information. They can provide valuable insights into our needs, values, and priorities. By understanding and addressing the message of an emotion, leaders can enhance their decision-making and problem-solving abilities.

James worked as a senior manager at a SaaS firm with over 220 employees when we met. He reported that he often felt frustrated and dissatisfied at work, but he couldn't figure out why. He enjoyed his job and was successful at it, but something was missing. 

After reflecting on his emotions, James realized that he was feeling unfulfilled because he wasn't using his creative abilities in his role. He enjoyed the challenge of solving complex problems and coming up with innovative solutions, but his job mostly involved executing established procedures and managing his team. 

Equipped with this insight, James decided to seek out more creative projects within the company. He also started spending more time mentoring his team members, which allowed him to use his problem-solving skills in a new way. These changes made a significant difference in James's job satisfaction and performance in a matter of weeks.

The insight that James discovered shows how understanding the message of an emotion can lead to greater satisfaction and success. 

As a leader, paying attention to your emotions can help you identify your needs and make changes that will enhance your job effectiveness and personal fulfillment.

Find the Right Balance

Emotions are not just fleeting feelings; they are essential, powerful tools that can significantly influence our actions and decisions.

As a leader, understanding and managing your emotions can have profound effects on your effectiveness and the overall health of your organization. Your ability to successfully navigate challenging situations requires you to be adept at handling your own and others' emotions skillfully.

By expressing your emotions appropriately, you can release pent-up feelings and gain clarity in your thinking. By being aware of the transmission of emotions, you can create a more positive and productive work environment. By understanding the message of your emotions, you can enhance your decision-making and increase your job satisfaction.

In each of the example cases, a leader used their emotional awareness to become stronger leaders and create a more positive work environment. Like them, you too can harness the power of your emotions to become a more effective and fulfilled leader.

Emotions are an innate part of our human experience. Adults get frightened and know that they can do something to change an undesirable situation. That's called personal agency. 

At work or during work interactions, we can be aware of feeling a feeling without having to blurt, shout, or otherwise let it out. Small children are forgiven for impulsiveness, managers aspiring to become directors are not.

Francis, another private client of mine, once said that it seemed obvious that he was not his feelings or his thoughts, but until he really understood it, he couldn't process the messages in his thoughts or feelings as clearly.

He said he wished that someone had explained this to him sooner in his life because his career and family life would have been better off, so I share this insight every chance I get, hoping it can have that impact for another person I can positively influence.

Emotions serve you best when they are acknowledged, understood, and used as a tool for personal and professional growth. As Susan David aptly put it, emotions are indeed "powerful tools that are essential to our growth."

So, the next time you feel a strong emotion, don't blurt it out and don't push it away. 

Embrace it. Explore it. Learn from it. Find the right balance. 

You are the thinker of your thoughts and the source of your emotions. You are not your thoughts. You are not your emotions. 

What you do next is up to you and I know it will be even better now that you've invested in your growth and development. 

Remember that your emotions can be your greatest allies in your leadership journey instead of invisible forces that hold you back from realizing your potential.