Learn to rest in motion - notes from my Burnout

Hey there!

It's been a while since I last showed my face here.

Life has been a relentless roller-coaster, filled with unexpected twists and turns. In this chaotic ride, I lost sight of caring for myself and joined the burned-out ''team''.

I underestimated the time and effort required to build a startup, bootstrap it, and manage separate consulting services. Add to that the myriad of life's demands.

In this whirlwind, I neglected the basics: sleep, eating, movement, and connection.

I isolated myself, pushing friends away because being around people felt exhausting. I ruined my relationship with food, barely eating twice a day. My sleep was haunted by restless nights, filled with tasks, ideas, and conversations swirling in my head. I stayed indoors, rarely venturing out except on weekends.

All these micro-decisions slowly transformed into daily habits.

Have you noticed how easily we slip into "bad" habits while "good" ones seem sooooo hard to maintain?

Burnout is a sneaky bastard. It creeps up slowly, day by day, decision by decision. It's not something you wake up with one day; it's a culmination of countless factors and choices. It shakes your foundation, making it the perfect ground for all the monsters in your closet to show up.

That's how I noticed that my mental health took a nosedive. Waves of anxiety overwhelmed me, making even the simplest tasks seem so damn hard to accomplish. Guilt and shame consumed me as I looked around, feeling like everyone else was thriving while I struggled.

I felt guilty for not knowing better and ashamed to admit I needed help and rest. My inner critic constantly whispered, "Your parents are entitled to be burned out, not you," or, "Look at X. She has three kids and doesn't complain. Why are you?"

It seemed like only a special category of people were allowed to reach burnout.

Fun times, right?

When I finally went to therapy, my therapist said, "It looks like you're experiencing burnout!" It felt like a brick had been thrown at my head. Acceptance was difficult, but understanding what I was dealing with was the first step toward recovery.

In my quest for understanding, I came across some valuable information about the types of burnout, which I want to share with you:

Overload Burnout: This happens when you work harder and harder, becoming frantic in your pursuit of success. You might risk your health and personal life to achieve your goals.

Under-challenged Burnout: This occurs when you feel underappreciated and bored. Your job might lack learning opportunities or room for growth. Feeling under-challenged, you might distance yourself, become cynical, and avoid responsibilities.

Neglect Burnout: This happens when you feel helpless, believing you're incompetent or unable to keep up with your responsibilities. It's closely connected to imposter syndrome, where you doubt your abilities and accomplishments.

Habitual Burnout: The most serious phase, habitual burnout, occurs when physical and mental fatigue become chronic. You feel sad, your behavior changes, and you might even experience depression and suicidal thoughts. It's crucial to seek help at this stage.

(source: WebMD)

But knowing that wasn't enough.

If nothing changes, nothing changes, as Dispenza says.

So, I was forced to look for solutions.

Stopping and moving on a sunny beach or under a rock wasn't an option.

I can’t afford the luxury of stopping and disappearing.

But there is something I had to learn to do: learn to rest in motion.

It is about creating a set of micro-habits that help you handle stress and pressure better.

Here are a few habits:

• Practice Mindful Breathing: Take short breaks throughout the day to focus on your breathing. I have slots booked on my calendar for this. I call them somatic breaks when I check in with my body and how I feel. I use Hands-On Mediation on YouTube for breathing exercises.
• Micro-Workouts: Incorporate short, frequent physical activities, such as stretching or a quick walk, to keep your body active and relieve mental fatigue. What I did and do is incorporate 15 min of yoga in the morning, take the stairs, or do any tiny form of movement.
• Scheduled Downtime: Plan small breaks in your schedule to rest and recharge. Even a few minutes away from your work can make a big difference. Like somatic breaks, I try to leave at least 10 minute break between each task to make the mental switch and get into the zone for the next one.
• Gratitude Journaling: Spend a few minutes each day writing down things you are grateful for. This one is my fav. If I don't manage to write it down, at the end of the day, I start counting my blessings in my thoughts before sleep.
• Hydration Reminders: Set reminders to drink water regularly. Here I have the biggest challenge. What works for me is to keep a bottle of water on my desk to remind me + add reminders on my Alarm section.
• Change the context: Look around yourself and ask yourself if it keeps you stuck or helps you grow. I changed what I listened to, who I followed on social media, what music I listened to around the house, and how I felt around certain people.

These are just a few.

And I know you might have heard these ideas 10000 times before. I did, too.

And it has such a punch in my ego that it's pointless to know if you don't do/act on your knowledge.

Knowledge is power only when followed by action.

Hope this helps!

Send me a DM if you also experienced burnout and how your recovery process was.

Hugs,

Petruta

Hi there!

I'm Petruta, founder and CEO of Parentool and a business consultant for first-time entrepreneurs.

Are you starting a business from scratch? I know exactly what that's like—I've built my businesses without financing or prior experience. 

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