Learning to ask for help

In the dynamic landscape of teamwork, the ability to seek help is not a sign of weakness, but rather an essential skill that fuels collaboration, innovation, and collective success. And let us be honest: in environments where self-sufficiency is often championed, the reluctance to ask for help may prevail as a perceived strength. However, it is crucial to recognize that fostering a culture where team members feel empowered to request support contributes significantly to overall productivity and high-performance outcomes.

The courage to seek help signifies a commitment to personal and collective growth, acknowledging that diverse perspectives and shared expertise are catalysts for overcoming challenges. Given the appropriate amount of trust between colleagues, and psychological safety within a group, teams that engage in healthy debates and know how and when to ask for help, typically emerge with a strategic advantage, get results more quickly minimising politics, and promote a culture of mutual support that propels them toward greater achievements. By embracing the notion that seeking assistance is not a sign of weakness but a pathway to strength, team members can cultivate an environment where collaboration thrives, enabling everyone to harness their full potential within the collective pursuit of excellence.

Learning to ask for help is an essential skill in any team to foster productive relationships and achieve high performance. And here are 10 strategies for team members (and that means all of us!) to improve their ability to ask for help: things we can Do, Say, and related Practices.

1. Create a supportive Team Culture Do: Foster an environment where asking for help is encouraged and seen as a sign of strength rather than weakness. And highlight the importance of collaboration and teamwork in achieving common goals. The practice: Encourage team members to share their challenges openly during team meetings. à How can you cultivate a culture where team members feel comfortable sharing their difficulties and asking for help? Question to ask: "I've noticed that our team is facing various challenges. How do you feel about openly discussing these challenges during our team meetings, and do you think it would contribute to a more supportive culture?"
2. Build Trust Do: Establish trust within the team by consistently delivering on your commitments and being reliable. Share your own challenges and vulnerabilities to demonstrate openness and authenticity. The practice: Consistently deliver on your commitments and deadlines. à What actions can we take to build trust within the team and ensure everyone feels confident in each other's reliability? Question to ask: : "In order to strengthen trust within our team, what specific actions do you think we can take to make everyone feeling safe in bringing their full self to work, speak up and ultimately ensure that we rely on each other's commitments and reliability?"
3. Communicate clearly Do: Clearly articulate your needs and challenges when seeking help. Be specific about what you require. Avoid assumptions that others know you need help; instead, express your requests explicitly. The practice: Clearly articulate your needs and challenges when seeking help. à How can we improve communication within the team to ensure that requests for help are explicit and easily understood? Question to ask: "I'm working on improving my communication within the team. Can you share any suggestions on how I can better articulate my needs and challenges when seeking help?"
4. Be Proactive Do: Identify potential challenges or roadblocks early on and communicate them to the team. Don't wait until a problem becomes overwhelming before seeking assistance. The practice: Identify potential challenges early on and communicate them to the team. à In what ways can we encourage team members to proactively communicate potential issues before they escalate? Question to ask: "How do you think we can encourage team members to proactively communicate potential challenges before they become significant issues? Any specific strategies or practices you would recommend?"
5. Develop Strong Relationships Do: Invest time in building strong relationships with your team members. This makes it easier to ask for help when needed. Understand each team member's strengths and expertise, and leverage them when necessary. The practice: Schedule regular team-building activities to strengthen interpersonal connections. à How can we foster stronger relationships among team members to create a supportive network? Question: "I value our working relationship, and I'm interested in strengthening our connections. What are some activities or initiatives you think could help build stronger relationships among team members?"
6. Offer Help to Others Do: Be willing to assist others when they need help. This creates a reciprocal atmosphere where team members are more likely to support each other. Building a culture of mutual assistance can make it easier for everyone to ask for help. The practice: Actively seek opportunities to assist colleagues with their tasks. à How can we promote a culture of mutual support, where team members are encouraged to offer help to one another?Question to ask: "I believe in a collaborative team environment. How can we promote a culture where team members actively offer help to each other? Are there specific ways we can encourage this behavior?"

1. Frame Requests Positively Do: Frame your requests for help in a positive light. Emphasize the collaborative nature of the team and how your request contributes to the team's success. Avoid framing requests in a way that may make others feel burdened.The practice: Emphasize the collaborative nature of the team when making requests for assistance. à How can we ensure that requests for help are framed positively, highlighting the collective success of the team?Question to ask: "When making requests for assistance, I want to ensure they are framed in a positive light. Can you provide any advice on how to communicate needs in a way that emphasizes the team's success and collaboration?"
2. Seek Guidance, Not Just Solutions Do: When asking for help, seek guidance and insights rather than just asking for a solution. This approach promotes learning and skill development. Demonstrate a commitment to personal and professional growth through seeking input from others. The practice: When seeking help, ask for guidance and insights rather than a direct solution. à How can we encourage team members to seek guidance and advice from each other, promoting a culture of continuous learning? Question to ask: "I'm working on seeking guidance and insights rather than immediate solutions. Do you have any experiences or advice on how I can approach seeking help in a way that fosters learning and skill development?"
3. Use Technology to Facilitate Communication Do: Utilize communication tools, such as project management software or messaging apps, to facilitate open and transparent communication about challenges and the need for assistance. The practice: Implement communication tools that facilitate transparent sharing of challenges. à Which communication tools can we leverage to enhance the ease and efficiency of sharing challenges and asking for help? Question to ask: "As we aim to enhance communication within the team, do you have any thoughts on which communication tools or platforms might be effective in facilitating the transparent sharing of challenges and requests for help?"
4. Provide Feedback Do: Acknowledge and appreciate the assistance you receive. This positive reinforcement encourages a culture of helpfulness within the team.The practice: Acknowledge and appreciate the assistance you receive from team members. à How can we incorporate regular feedback and recognition for team members who contribute to a culture of helpfulness?Question to ask: "I've found your assistance incredibly valuable. How do you prefer to receive feedback and recognition for your contributions to our team's collaborative culture, and which specific actions or behaviors do you appreciate being acknowledged for?"

Useful resources to tap into and progress your thinking on this topic:

Podcast episode: How to Help Others Be Seen and Heard – Coaching for Leaders - Deep curiosity can be one of the best ways to create connection

Book: "Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success" by Adam Grant - This book explores the concept of reciprocity in the workplace and how acts of giving and seeking help can lead to individual and collective success. It provides insights into the benefits of a generous and collaborative approach in professional settings.

TEDx Talk: "The Power of Vulnerability" by Brené Brown - While not directly focused on asking for help, Brené Brown's talk explores the importance of vulnerability and connection in the workplace. It sheds light on the human aspect of seeking assistance and how embracing vulnerability can lead to stronger professional relationships.