Let Your Kid be a Kid...

As summer comes to a close and the cooler air begins to take hold that can only mean one thing - hockey! For many athletes and their parents, the shoulder season between sports is a time for a re-set of sports gear, the family calendar and transition from one sport to another.

Before my eldest daughter joined organized hockey (and before my Hornets coaching days), I signed her up for some stick and puck sessions at a local rink. These were mixed sessions with boys and girls, where the instructors split them up by skill level and allowed them to progress within groups over the course of the term of the sessions. By the end of the first session, my kid had progressed well to the point where she was playing with the more advanced boys in the 'top group'. A proud hockey dad moment for sure - many can relate to that first year your kid plays a sport and you see the rapid transition from beginner to (what in your eyes anyway amounts to) a future all-star.

I was giddy with excitement as the lead instructor gave me feedback on my kid - "progressing really well, you should put her in organized hockey". I did not know about the Hornets, nor did I have any clue where to start with organized hockey. I signed her up for the next session with the Town and proudly paraded in and out of the rink each week as my kid danced around the other kids on the ice. At the end of the second semester of sessions I talked to the instructor and proudly advised I was going to sign her up for THREE DAYS per week over the summer from the one we were doing. I was so happy with her progress and so excited about her future prospects that I could hardly contain myself. What he said next framed a core principle of my coaching philosophy...

"Let your kid be a kid..."

While I'm paraphrasing a conversation from over a decade ago here, I still remember the conversation like it was yesterday - "don't do it - just let her be a kid". Perplexed, I asked him why he would suggest that. "I've been doing this a long time" he said, "and too many times I've seen kids quit because their parents made them resent the sport." Pretty heavy to hear for me at the time - especially when I was on the high of thinking my kid was gonna be the next big somebody on the ice. Sound familiar? As I contemplated his advice I heeded it and only put her in one day per week.

Fast forward to current day and I still give that advice to my ball and hockey parents. Sounds simple but for sports crazed parents (myself included) its hard to fathom taking time off to just "let your kid be a kid". Here's the rub though, over the ten years I've been preaching his mantra, I've NEVER seen a kid fall behind another who trained in the summer. The opposite is actually true in many cases. By letting kids be kids and just hang with their buds or play another sport, they become more resilient, more rounded and ultimately better leaders. If they are the 'best' at their sport in one season, they may struggle in another, challenging them to depend on others to improve their skill and team play.

As you contemplate your kid's illustrious future sports career here is some advice I would provide from my own experience:

1) "Let Your Kid be a Kid": borrowed from that first hockey coach my eldest had, he was right. The off season is an opportunity to spend time doing OTHER things other than your in season sport. Not playing (much) hockey in the summer months meant my kid was excited about it starting back up in the fall. If she had of played all year round I worried she would resent it eventually. Same holds true for my younger one.

2) Try Other Sports: taking the off season off from a sport does not mean your kid needs to sit on the couch on their phone for months at a time. Many of the most talented athletes I've coached play a completely different sport in their off season. In the case of the hockey athletes I've coached, a large percentage of them play softball, lacrosse, soccer, tennis or other sports in the off season that complement their hockey skills and continue to build their athletic abilities.

3) Find a Balance: some reading this will insist their kid needs to be playing their core sport all year long. If that's your bag I won't try and talk you out of it - you do you. My point as I mentioned earlier is that I've not seen the upside in doing so - ever. If your kid is an elite athlete in his or her sport and you think that year round training is best for them, so be it. In my experience the kid that gets to play multiple sports, try a new hobby or simply hang with their friends is simply a more well-adjusted team mate when the next season comes along.

As we approach hockey season I (like our players) am excited for the year ahead. Whatever your sport is, I wish you the best for your upcoming season.

Until next time, keep your stick on the ice...

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Jim McKay is a seasoned supply chain executive with over twenty-five years experience in leading and coaching others. From the shop floor to the board room to the ball diamond and hockey rink, those who know him know that he has a few stories to share about life and leadership. Through his 'Reflections' posts and 'Reflections of a Workaholic' publications Jim shares his experience in transportation, supply chain and leadership through impactful and insightful stories that are meant to help and inspire others.

The commentary and opinions in these stories are his own...