Life is beautiful

After 15 years of living my life happily, one day I felt as if there was something strange happening to me. I felt miserable and didn’t feel like talking to anyone. I could not sleep or eat properly. Life became gloomy and dark. It took me six years to know that I was suffering from Bi-polar disorder. Life was tough and full of darkness and fear. There were times when I just could sleep for three days in a row. Sometimes I would feel so tired and weak that I would not even have the energy to get up from bed. I didn’t know how to handle all that. I kept asking God – Why me? I remember asking this question to my psychologist. She told me that, “I don't know the reason but over the years I have seen that our biggest challenges are our greatest blessings in disguise.”

I decided that I will not let my predicament affect my studies. I completed my diploma in Engineering and found a job in a fortune 500 company. Things were fine but there was something missing in my life.

During that time I saw an advertisement in the newspaper. An NGO was looking for some volunteers for a telephonic counseling helpline service. I applied there and took an evening shift. After work I started going there. I loved the experience of talking to people over the phone and helping them.

One day a call came that really changed the course of my life. A girl whose 12th class results were about to appear, was planning to commit suicide, and she called at the helpline. I was really terrified as it was a very tough situation for me to handle but I was able to strike a rapport with that girl and prevent her from taking any negative step. (I was assisted by a psychologist on the call who was giving me written instructions)

For the first time I felt that I have done something really good. I decided to quit my Engineering career and I joined a Call Center. My parents and friends thought that I had lost my mind; however, I followed my heart. Talking to so many people over the phone and helping them was fun.

One day at work, a trainer who was supposed to take a session fell ill and there was no one else to take that session. When I got to know about this I asked my supervisor if I can conduct that session. She was all right with that. I was little anxious but I gave my best shot. The session went very well and I received very good feedback from the participants. Within three months I applied for a job as a Soft Skills Trainer and I got it.

I loved the feel of conducting training sessions and my work became my passion. I felt nice that I was bringing a change in other’s lives. Side by side, I did my MA in Psychology, MBA in HR and a course in Training and Development. While I was undergoing progress in my professional life, my personal life was still being tormented by the Bi-polar demon. In the year 2006, my mentor, Chitra Ravi suggested me to attend Transactional Analysis 101 by Dr. Pearl Drego and Fr. Oswald. It had a profound effect on me and I found the stepping stone to combat Bi-polar disorder.

I did numerous other courses like Reiki Healing, Angel Therapy, Aroma Therapy and they helped in to some extent. I attended NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) by Dr. Richard Mchugh in the year 2011 and as if someone gave me answers to all my questions. My belief that I had to live with the Bi-polar disorder for the rest of my life got thrashed and I got a new life which was more stable and full of serenity and joy.

One day while I was sitting in a coffee shop, I met my psychologist by chance. We were very happy to see each other after so many years. I told her about my journey of self development and career shift. She smiled and repeated the same line, “Our biggest challenges are our greatest blessings in disguise.”

It took me time to understand and realize that had it not been Bi-polar disorder I would never have studied psychology and pursued a career in training.

Life is beautiful. When the dark clouds surmount the sun, we just need to look at the silver lining.