Life Lessons from a Trucker

My dad (his name was Al) passed away 25 years ago this Sunday. He would have been 74 this spring, but he will never be 74. He was never 70, 60, or 50 years old. Al is forever 48.

He finished 8th grade, and that was the extent of his formal education. My dad was a trade welder, unless there was no construction work. Then he was a long haul trucker. When he was very young he trained as a mechanic, and the man could fix anything, except cancer. I was too young when he died to imagine all the other things in my life he would have watched me suffer that he couldn’t fix. He also missed so many great things, including the nine grandchildren who followed the one he met.

My dad was the patron saint of stray dogs and waylaid travelers. I’m certain many humans across the USA and Canada benefitted from my dad's willingness to to pull over, lend a hand, sometimes fixing stranger's cars with the tools he carried, and always refusing payment. He once came home with an inexpensive watch a motorist gave him. My father accepted it to spare the driver's pride.

When my dad was a welder he worked on all the buildings that make up the iconic Denver skyline (circa 1972 - 1984). He was hard at work deep down in the basements and parking garages. Sometimes I came home from school and found him at the kitchen table in our small single wide trailer because he was laid off. Construction was very up and down when my dad was in it. We were at the mercy of an oil boom and trickle down economics.

In the early 1980s my dad was maimed in a construction accident. Our family was at the mercy of workman's comp. Dad eventually went back to trucking which he did until his terminal diagnosed. Then, my parents and younger sisters were at the mercy of social security.

I spent my life and career not chasing the American dream, but running hard and fast from the fear of scarcity. I was the first in my family to finish high school, the only one to finish college or graduate school. I was first across the finish line time after time, not because I was hungry to win but because I was terrified to go hungry. I spent this half of my life pursing a career, training, and higher education while missing the best lessons of my childhood. The good lessons were obscured by the pure stress of my parents not knowing how the lot rent would be paid. My dad taught me many things through his example that I embraced subconsciously but never really recognized until recently.

I take this moment to recognize and share what my dad gave me. It wasn't a college degree, and it wasn't an inheritance, but it has made a huge difference in my life and how I've helped others through advocacy and nonprofit work.

Early on, I learned to fear instability. In honor of my dad, I now celebrate resilience. I once believed I had to work so hard that I was indispensable, but now I understand no job or title defines my (or your) worth or humanity. I once believed I had to be guarded for job security, now I know to be authentically myself because I only get this one life. I once valued money because it represented security, but now I value time because it's a finite resource with an unknown quantity. My dad taught me that, and I would have been better served if I had learned it sooner. I am not afraid of losing my life or running out of time. Rather, I am motivated to spend every minute in what's left of this life building something meaningful to me.

This spring I will be 48, the age my dad was when he died. I made a huge decision about my career, my life, and living my values this month and will announce it on February 7 (watch this space). I dedicate this year, these changes, this alignment with my soul to my dad. The wise, generous, and kind trucker who risked being late to help people before cell phones when everyone else in the world sped on by running to something more important.

#security #trucking #career #education

Murali Vadlamudi

Program Analyst @ U.S. Department of Transportation-NHTSA

2y

Beautifully written!

Srivatsan Rangachari

Chief of Resource Mobilization & Community Initiatives KNC Trust

2y

Great tribute to your father Amanda Rose Adams, SPC, MS, PMP, ITIL

Heather Rohn

Regional Solutions Consultant | Business Print Solutions | Print On Demand | Marketing & Events

2y

Great message in honoring your dad. He was a great man! Hugs my friend! 🤗

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