Likability vs. Burnout – Survival Skills for Authentic Leadership and Self-Preservation

As the year winds down, many of us, especially those in leadership positions, are running on fumes. For many of us, the pressure to be likable, relatable, and authentic while driving performance, managing teams, and meeting year-end goals can push even the most resilient leaders to the brink of burnout.

But here’s the truth: Likability isn’t leadership. And burnout isn't a badge of honor. The most successful executives know how to strike a balance between the two. It’s not about being liked by everyone, it’s about being respected, staying authentic, and leading with clarity, even when exhaustion sets in, and believe me, it will!

If you’re feeling the weight of it all right now, this article is for you. Here are some survival skills that will not only help you stay sane, but also ensure you lead with transparency, and your core values.

🚫 The Likability Trap: Stop Trying to Please Everyone

Here’s a hard truth: If you’re trying to be liked by everyone, you’re doing leadership wrong.

While being approachable and empathetic are essential qualities for leaders, chasing likability is a dangerous trap. Leaders who prioritize likability often avoid tough conversations, overextend themselves to meet everyone’s needs, and risk compromising their own well-being.

What To Do Instead: Shift your focus from being liked to being respected. Respect comes from consistency, integrity, and decisiveness. Your team doesn’t need you to be their best friend, they need clarity, direction, and someone who makes tough calls with fairness and transparency.

Ask yourself:

• Am I avoiding difficult conversations because I’m afraid of how I’ll be perceived?
• Am I prioritizing likability over effectiveness?

If the answer is "yes," it’s time to reframe your approach. Leaders who focus on respect instead of likability gain loyalty and trust, two qualities that last far longer than just being nice.

💯 Authentic Leadership Isn’t Perfection: It’s Showing Up as Yourself

In a world of creating content for LinkedIn posts and social media highlights, it’s easy for executives to feel the pressure to have it all together at all times .Believe me, I know this one well!  But perfection isn’t the goal. Authenticity is.

Authenticity means leading with self-awareness, being honest about your limitations, and allowing others to see you as human, not superhuman. The pressure to perform and do everything, can be a fast track to burnout, especially when leaders feel they have to keep a mask of perfection in front of their teams.

What To Do Instead: Start practicing radical self-awareness. Acknowledge when you’re overwhelmed and communicate it to your team. This doesn’t mean dumping your stress onto them,  it means leading with vulnerability.

Try this:

• Share one area you’re actively working on (e.g., "I’m working on being more present in meetings").
• Ask your team for feedback and model the authenticity you want them to match.
• Stop pretending you have all the answers. Ask questions and empower your team to problem-solve with you.

Being authentic creates psychological safety, and people are far more likely to trust and follow leaders who show up as themselves, flaws and all.

🔥 Burnout Isn’t a Badge of Honor: It’s a Warning Sign

Let's be honest: Corporate culture still glorifies burnout as if it's a measure of dedication and commitment. Burning the midnight oil is romanticized, working long hours and on the weekend is the norm, and being busy is often mistaken for being productive.

Here’s the truth: Burnout is not a rite of passage. It’s a flashing red light that something is broken and ignoring it doesn’t make you stronger; it makes you ineffective.

For most executives, burnout is particularly dangerous because it’s easy to justify. You tell yourself, “I have to push harder because the whole company depends on me.” But if you collapse under the weight of it all, no one wins.

What To Do Instead: Prioritize energy management over time management. I love this one! It’s important to remember, you can’t get more time in a day, but you can manage your energy and who gets that energy, reflected as time  Recognize the signs of burnout early like irritability, exhaustion, or feelings of detachment and take action to correct it immediately.

Here’s how:

• Take a detachment break: Turn off your notifications for an hour each day.
• Set your boundaries (and hold them): Decide what time you’ll end your workday and stick to it.
• Delegate more effectively: Your role isn’t to do everything; it’s to ensure everything gets done. Reread that!

Burnout doesn’t make you a hero. Recovery from burnout takes far longer than the tasks you’re too busy to delegate.

❌ Learn the Power of the Strategic ‘No’

If you say "yes" to everything, you’re effectively saying "no" to your own priorities. For managers and executives, learning how to say no strategically is one of the most critical survival skills you can learn.

Many leaders fall into the trap of believing that every opportunity, every meeting, or every initiative requires their involvement. Spoiler alert: It doesn’t. Every "yes" you give without thought pulls you away from the strategic decisions only you can make.

What To Do Instead: Embrace the art of value-based decision making. Before saying yes, ask yourself:

• Does this task align with my key objectives?
• Am I the only person who can do this, or can it be delegated?
• Will saying yes to this force me to say no to something more important?

Give yourself permission to set boundaries, and don’t feel guilty for it! The ability to say no is a sign of a seasoned executive, not a selfish one.

⏳ End-of-Year Exhaustion: Why This Time of Year Hits Harder

The end of the year is notoriously exhausting for most people, not just executives. You’re juggling financial targets, strategic planning for the year ahead, and personal obligations; and let’s not forget the mental load of managing a team that’s just as burned out as you are.

This is the time when many leaders start running on adrenaline, believing they can push through to the end of the year 2024. But pushing through without rest only guarantees that you’ll start the next year running on empty.

What To Do Instead:

• Schedule intentional breaks: A 20-minute mental break can boost decision-making and creativity.
• Plan for downtime in Q1: Burnout doesn’t resolve on January 1. If Q4 wiped you out, plan a lighter load for Q1.
• Check in with your team: If you’re exhausted, chances are they are too. Have an honest conversation about what’s realistic for end of the year goals, with 2 weeks left.

End-of-year exhaustion is real, and the cost of ignoring it is too high. It’s better to reduce your commitments now than to spend Q1 in recovery mode.

🎭 Likability or Leadership? Choose Wisely

There’s a difference between being liked and being respected. leaders who prioritize being liked end up over-explaining their decisions, over-committing themselves, and often being seen as nice but ineffective.

But here's the truth: Likability fades. Respect lasts.

If you’re leading with the goal of being liked, you’re operating from a place of fear. If you lead with the goal of being respected, you’re operating from a place of clarity and strength.

What To Do Instead:

• Get comfortable with discomfort: Not everyone will like your decisions, and that’s okay.
• Practice direct honest: Speak directly and with empathy, but don’t sugarcoat the truth.
• Lead by example: People respect what they see, not just what they hear.

Great leaders don’t chase popularity. They chase clarity, accountability, and results.

🛟 Likability Won’t Save You, But Leadership Will

If you’re feeling exhausted, spread too thin, or under pressure to please everyone, you’re not alone. The end of the year brings out the worst of it. But remember this saying? “Put your oxygen mask on first, before you attempt to help others”.

Focus on being clear, not nice. Focus on rest, not burnout. Focus on results, not popularity.

This time of year is tough, but tough leaders know when to recalibrate.

Stay authentic. Stay real. And most of all, take care of yourself!

I wrote this article to resonate with C-level executives, leaders, managers, and business owners who are feeling the strain of year-end pressures. But I bet most of you have found yourselves in the same situation at one time or another!  If it strikes a chord with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts. How are you straddling the balance between likability, authenticity, and self-preservation as a leader? Drop your comments below. As always, I appreciate any likes or shares to your feed or to someone you think might like to read this.