A list of Australian VCs who didn’t fund me because I’m a woman.

Okay, this didn’t actually happen. But let’s be honest, how many of you clicked on this because it plays into what we “want”to believe? Now, imagine if I had said, “A list of VCs who didn’t fund me because they didn’t believe in my company.” That wouldn’t have had the same impact… 

And that is exactly what’s wrong with modern feminism in the entrepreneurial space today. We’re perpetuating narratives that, while well-meaning, are more harmful than helpful.

In 2019, at just 26, I started my venture-backed company. The "female founder" wave was at its peak. And the advice I got? “You’re a solo female founder? Great timing! VCs are focused on women right now.”

I remember thinking, “Is this all they see? Am I just ticking a box?” It scared the hell out of me because I didn’t want to be evaluated through the lens of my gender. I wanted real feedback—real validation, not some pity round or gender quota.

The truth I realised:

The most empowering thing I ever did was confront this head-on. I didn’t walk into a pitch thinking, “They’re going to judge me for being a woman.” I started saying, “Yes, my story is personal, but I’m building a real, scalable business here. So don’t treat me like a delicate flower, ask me the hard questions.”

And you know what? When I didn’t pre-frame myself with those thoughts, I realised the tough questions had nothing to do with my gender. They were the same grilling every founder, male or female, goes through. If I had walked in with a “they’re going to discriminate” mindset, I could have easily misinterpreted the challenges as sexism.

How did I get here? 

Honestly, pure luck. I didn’t follow the well-meaning but misguided advice I got from some female founders and even VCs. They’d say, “If they ask you tough questions, play the gender card. Just ask, ‘Would you ask me that if I were a man?’”. But I knew that disarming the conversation like that wasn’t going to help me or my company in the long run. I didn’t want investors to tiptoe around me because I was a woman, I wanted to know if my business could stand on its own two feet for the next 20 years.

Why are we still clinging to this?

I’ve watched this trend unfold on LinkedIn for the last five years, and frankly, it terrifies me. We’re still pushing the narrative that there’s a massive funding gap for female founders. Is that true? Or is it what we choose to believe, despite all the progress we’ve made?

I’ve dug into the psychology of why we cling to this narrative, and the truth is, we’re replacing what works with what sounds good. We’ve created female-focused VC funds and equity quotas, but these aren’t helping us. If anything, they create more doubt, because they look like safety nets, not validation.

Enter the scar experiment:

There’s this old psychological study where participants were given fake facial scars and told to interact with people. They didn’t know the scars had been secretly removed, and yet they still believed they were being judged for their appearance. As a result, they interpreted neutral and even positive interactions as negative. The takeaway? We see what we expect to see.

This is what’s happening with many women today. We walk into pitch rooms with this idea that we’ll be judged for our gender, and we misinterpret challenges or feedback as bias. We’ve been told for so long that we’re at a disadvantage, we’ve started to believe it—whether it’s true or not.

Let’s talk about short men:

You want a real example of bias? Let’s talk about men. Specifically, short men. Society is brutal to them. Most CEOs are over six feet tall. Presidential candidates? Statistically, the taller one usually wins. On dating apps, over 90% of women swipe left on guys under six feet. 

So what do short men do? Do they wallow in their victimhood? Some might. But the ones who thrive take it and run with it. They compensate for it—by being funnier, smarter, or more successful. There’s a reason the trope of the supermodel with a shorter, confident guy exists. Short men rise above. Sorry short kings...

If men were to dwell on the statistics about height, they’d never get anywhere. The successful ones don’t focus on what they don’t have. They play the cards they’re dealt. And this is what we need to do as female founders.

Bias is real, but it’s not everything:

Of course, some people will treat you differently. I have friends who are first-generation immigrants, and they face biases, too. But it’s not just about bias, it’s about what you do with it. Some people will see your background as a strength, others as a weakness. You can’t control that, but you can control how you react to it. If you’re always focused on what’s wrong, you’ll miss out on what’s possible. 

Let’s get real about risk:

Let’s be honest, having children adds a level of risk for female founders. That’s not sexist; it’s reality. Investors are there to evaluate risk, and balancing a 24/7 startup with pregnancy and motherhood does increase the risk profile. But instead of seeing this as an attack, we should see it as an opportunity. We live in a world where we can be both mothers and founders. That’s amazing. So let’s celebrate that and show investors how we’ll manage both, instead of pretending the questions are off-limits.

A big thank you to investors:

I want to thank the VCs who I have pitched to and who have invested in me for who I am, and even to those who said no because they didn’t believe in my company, not for ticking off a diversity box: Airtree, Blackbird, Folklore, Square Peg, and so many others that are always in the limelight for a takedown on gender. 

We’re lucky to be part of an ecosystem where we are judged on our ideas, our drive, and our execution, not our gender.

The way forward:

Women, it’s time to stop perpetuating the victim narrative. Instead, let’s highlight our strengths, not quotas. Let’s focus on excellence, on resilience, on what makes us stand out. We don’t need investors to tiptoe around us. We need them to challenge us, push us, and help us grow.

Stop relying on the idea that you can’t be what you can’t see. That’s nonsense. Every founder out there, male or female, is an inspiration if you choose to see it that way. Don’t narrow your vision to just women in business, find inspiration everywhere.

At the end of the day, the only person who can change your life is you. The only person who can make your company succeed is you. Gender quotas won’t make you a successful founder. You will. 

Let’s embrace that, and build businesses that succeed because they’re great, not because we’re women.